If Lincoln Was Treated The Way Bush Is Today (From RWN, May 2004) (Brilliant)

RightWingNews.com ^ | May 13, 2004 | Garnet Girl

[GeorgiaDawg32]

In the comments section of my "If The Media Treated Basketball Like They Treat The War On Terror" column at the Command Post there was an absolutely brilliant piece written by someone called Garnet Girl. It was long, well written, funny and personally I thought it would be a shame for that phenomenal piece of work to end its days in the comments section of a post where only a couple hundred people would see it. So, I decided to post it here on RWN anyway. Enjoy!

Mr. Ben-Gorelick:Good evening, President Lincoln. The Select Commission on Gettysburg thanks you for taking time out from the Civil War to appear.

Lincoln: You’re welcome, sir. I respect the commission.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: Before I get to the blunders at Gettysburg, sir, I must ask about the speech you just gave there dedicating the cemetery. This “Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth…” Do you have the…

Lincoln: I know it.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: I call your attention, sir, to paragraph three, where you state, “…that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause…” Do you recall that?

[GeorgiaDawg32]

If the link doesn't take you directly to the article, scroll UP the page 3 articles..

[tpaine]

Mr. Ben-Gorelick:
Good evening, President Lincoln. The Select Commission on Gettysburg thanks you for taking time out from the Civil War to appear.

Lincoln: You're welcome, sir. I respect the commission.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: Before I get to the blunders at Gettysburg, sir, I must ask about the speech you just gave there dedicating the cemetery. This "Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth…" Do you have the…

Lincoln: I know it.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: I call your attention, sir, to paragraph three, where you state, "…that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause…" Do you recall that?

Lincoln: "…for which they gave the last full measure of devotion."

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: What cause is that, sir?

Lincoln: Why, winning the war.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: No, that's not what I meant. We all want to win the war, and, of course, we honor the troops. But what's the cause? Let me be clear…

Lincoln: I wish you would be.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: Mr. Lincoln, you took us to war two years ago and said it was to save the union.
Lincoln: It still is.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: And yet - and I'll put this text in the record - there's not a single reference in this speech to saving the union.

Lincoln: It's implied.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: Not a single reference. Isn't it a fact that you said in the speech, "dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal"?

Lincoln: Yes, in the first sentence.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: And isn't it a fact that you say, and again I quote, "that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom…"?

Lincoln: Yes.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: Isn't it a fact that you were referring to slavery?

Lincoln: Well, yes. But I also said, second paragraph, that they died, quote, "that nation might live."

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: Yes, but what nation, sir? Clearly, your real goal is to abolish slavery. You took us to war under false pretense, didn't you, sir?

Lincoln: No.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: "…of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth." Last line of the speech, Mr. President. Nothing about saving the union. This freedom thing is, perhaps, a kind of obsession with you, isn't it? Some would say it's a fever.

Lincoln: There are good reasons for this war.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: "I hate slavery," you said in Peoria, Ill. in 1854, seven years before you became president. This is a crusade. You couldn't knock off slavery then, so you're trying it now.

Lincoln: Saving the union is my main goal.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: No, it's a talking point. Let's take a break.



Mr. Ben-Gorelick: Mr. Lincoln, isn't it a fact that you also said in your speech that the men who died consecrated that cemetery, and I quote, "far above our poor power to add or detract"? Did you use those words, sir?

Lincoln: I did.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: Aren't you passing the buck?

Lincoln: Sir?

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: You're president of America. Isn't it your job to add or detract?

Lincoln: Well, in some matters…

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: Presidents add or detract all the time. Isn't it a fact that Thomas Jefferson added Louisiana, and James Polk added Texas?

Lincoln: It was a spiritual reference.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: Like your "under God" phrase?

Lincoln: Yes.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: Doesn't that confirm the charge that you're a religious zealot, seeking to impose your views on the nation?

Lincoln: I do think this country exists under God.

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: You may be in violation of the First Amendment, and might need counsel. I'll consult with my colleagues. We'll take a break.

***

Chris Matthews: Chris Matthews back. More "Hardball."
Wow. Gettysburg widows, what'd you think of that?

Clara: I'm scared to death. He thinks he's God.

Elizabeth: It's where he comes from - the sticks out there in Illinois. They're like that.

Chris Matthews: You believe he's on a religious mission?

Mary: He pretty much admitted it.

Chris Matthews:You know what I think? Bottom line: It's about Israel."

[N2Gems]

ping

[theBuckwheat]

And if Bush treated the press and his political opponents the way Lincoln did, he would have thrown at least as many of them into prison or had them drafted into the armed forces as Lincoln did, which was over 20,000, including Federal Judges and issuing an arrest warrant for the Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court.

see:
http://www.lewrockwell.com/dilorenzo/dilorenzo75.html

[snarks_when_bored]

If Lincoln Was Treated The Way Bush Is Today

There once was a past perfect tense
Whose absence would make writers wince,
But nowadays not,
For grammar's forgot,
And 'was' used where 'had been' makes sense.

[Mad Dawg]

Not diLorenzo again! Is this a fiction thread? Or satire?

[Liberty Valance]

Lincoln was assasinated.

[grey_whiskers]

Snarks, you magnificent bastard!

There once was a past perfect tense
Whose absence would make writers wince,
But nowadays not,
For grammar's forgot,
And 'was' used where 'had been' makes sense.

The pluperfect subjunctive tense
Is used to describe the past. Hence:
If he had been treated
like Bush, then defeated
he would have been. Just common sense!

Yeah, I know. Yours is *far* better.

I just wanted to get the words "pluperfect subjunctive" into a limerick.

Cheers!

[atomic_dog]

A much more interesting mind game would be "If Bush treated the MSM the Lincoln did."

Heh heh

"The habit of declaring sympathies for the enemy will no longer be tolerated in this department. Persons committing such offenses will be at once arrested."
General Order, No. 38
General Ambrose E. Burnside

[4mycountry]

No rest for the grammar police. Ever. ;)

[snarks_when_bored]

Excellent, g_w, and even more persnickety!

[Spruce]

Lincoln was assasinated.

Wait a minute! What? When?

[snarks_when_bored]

No rest for the grammar police. Ever. ;)

As Captain Redlegs put it in The Outlaw Josey Wales:  "There's no end of doin' good."

[Blue State Insurgent]

They used to call Lincoln a 'baboon' and an 'ape'.

Sound familiar?

[upcountryhorseman]

Actually Lincoln was reviled in the press: he was likened
to a dumb ape.

[GoLightly]

That was good!

[AmusedBystander]

"If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other business. I do the very best I know how - the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what's said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference." Abraham Lincoln.

[Defiant]

Those were both excellent.