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Thanksgiving Advice
Ace of Spades ^ | November 18, 2006 | Laura W.

Posted on 11/18/2006 9:07:47 PM PST by george76

*Storebought pies are of the debbil. Don't do that. Pies are ridiculously easy to make, and the house smells so good when they're baking.

*If you have a full house and need to set up a separate table for the kiddies, try to orient it so that you can reach the back of the worst kid's head with a spatula. That way you won't have to get up during the meal.

*Put a long-handled spatula next to your plate.

*Give the turkey enough time to thaw. Your relatives don't want to see you desperately shoving a blowtorch inside Mr. Turkey on Thursday morning.

*If you can manage it, cooking the turkey breast-side down for much of the cooking time does help keep the breast meat moist.

*Seat your weird red-haired cousins in another room and shut the door.

*If their mother objects, put her in there too. She'll come back without them in three minutes. She'll keep her yap shut for the rest of the meal as a bonus.

*If livingroom seating is inadequate, throw something soft on the floor that the kids can lounge on during the football game, while the adults are sleeping.

I'm sure all you guys have other great ideas and helpful hints.

(Excerpt) Read more at ace.mu.nu ...


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: thanksgiving; thanksgivingadvice
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1 posted on 11/18/2006 9:07:47 PM PST by george76
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To: george76

If your Uncle is nodding off on the easy chair, let him.


2 posted on 11/18/2006 9:08:32 PM PST by Extremely Extreme Extremist (Why can't Republicans stand up to Democrats like they do to terrorists?)
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To: george76; patton

i'm laughing so hard i'm crying!


3 posted on 11/18/2006 9:10:55 PM PST by leda (Life is always what you make it!)
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To: carlo3b

ping


4 posted on 11/18/2006 9:11:48 PM PST by Cindy
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To: All
I'm craving pie.


5 posted on 11/18/2006 9:14:00 PM PST by monkapotamus
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To: leda

What you got against red heads, anyway? You know dang well our family tree don't fork, Ms. Kirby-Muxloe. ;)


6 posted on 11/18/2006 9:14:31 PM PST by patton (Sanctimony frequently reaps its own reward.)
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To: george76
Pies are ridiculously easy to make

For some. Last time I tried cooking, it ended with a visit from the EPA. Not good times. :)

7 posted on 11/18/2006 9:14:58 PM PST by TheBigB (Do you think "Lady in the Water" is in Ted Kennedy's NetFlix queue?)
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To: george76

I asked Mrs. RQSR if she had any Thanksgiving tips.

She said "none we can post".


8 posted on 11/18/2006 9:15:34 PM PST by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists...call 'em what you will...They ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: patton

me? have something against redheads?
now where on earth would you get that idea?


9 posted on 11/18/2006 9:15:57 PM PST by leda (Life is always what you make it!)
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To: All
And turkey:


10 posted on 11/18/2006 9:16:41 PM PST by monkapotamus
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To: george76

Here's my recipe for the perfect Thanksgiving:
Invite no one
Accept no invitations
Stock up on beer
Order a pile of pizza the night before
On Thanksgiving day enjoy your beer, pizza and football, don't even take a shower if you don't want to, it's not like you're going to have company. And don't forget to be thankful for all that life has provided, including the sense to not ruin a perfectly good holiday with insane and stressful plans, which includes not going anywhere with a cash register on black Friday.


11 posted on 11/18/2006 9:16:58 PM PST by discostu (we're two of a kind, silence and I)
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To: leda

A question taken from Ace...



Quote :

" I have a question not a suggestion: What should you do when you discover that your female cousin whom you haven't since seen she was ten is now 18 years old and all grown up and really, really hot and you're alone with her in the bedroom where everyone has thrown their coats and she's bending over the bed to get something from her coat and you're standing directly behind her? "


12 posted on 11/18/2006 9:17:23 PM PST by george76 (Ward Churchill : Fake Indian, Fake Scholarship, and Fake Art)
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To: george76

Unstuff BOTH sides of the turkey. Personal experience.


13 posted on 11/18/2006 9:18:50 PM PST by I still care ("Remember... for it is the doom of men that they forget" - Merlin, from Excalibur)
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To: discostu
"not going anywhere with a cash register on black Friday."

Ditto that part!

14 posted on 11/18/2006 9:19:55 PM PST by sageb1 (This is the Final Crusade. There are only 2 sides. Pick one.)
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To: george76

Pies are ridiculously easy to make, but learning to make great pies takes years of experience. I am the Pie Queen! Without writing a Pie Opus, I recommend making your crust with lard. I'm here to help....


15 posted on 11/18/2006 9:20:14 PM PST by Island Girl
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To: george76
//*Seat your weird red-haired cousins in another room and shut the door.\\

What if you are the weird red-haired cousin?
16 posted on 11/18/2006 9:21:37 PM PST by ThomasThomas (......)
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To: george76; leda

Well, I am guessing that my WIFE, leda, would give the little tramp a swift kick.


17 posted on 11/18/2006 9:21:37 PM PST by patton (Sanctimony frequently reaps its own reward.)
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To: rockinqsranch

How to ruin Thanksgiving

http://daveintexas.wordpress.com/2006/11/17/how-to-ruin-thanksgiving/


18 posted on 11/18/2006 9:21:38 PM PST by george76 (Ward Churchill : Fake Indian, Fake Scholarship, and Fake Art)
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To: ThomasThomas

" What if you are the weird red-haired cousin?"

Bring some of the pie with you.


19 posted on 11/18/2006 9:23:00 PM PST by george76 (Ward Churchill : Fake Indian, Fake Scholarship, and Fake Art)
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To: george76

what do you mean?


20 posted on 11/18/2006 9:24:54 PM PST by leda (Life is always what you make it!)
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