Sean Hannity Live Nov. 2, 2006

Sean Hannity ^ | Nov. 2, 2006 | Sean Hannity

[cibco]

Kerrys whole life is one big act.

[acsrp38]

They really are in serious "sono mode"

[CedarDave]

By donating one of his own kidneys to her, he gave her two more years of life. Truly a wonderful human being as well as a great patriot.

[cibco]

LOL!

[sono]

Winchester was more of a stand-up guy on MASH than sKerry was in Paris.

[cibco]

You can't help but like a man like that.

[defconw]

True! I am off to work. (Def has left the forum). LOL

[RasterMaster]

Caller Trey had it right....

[ChicagoConservative27]

Is this getting out? Terrorist want Dem's. People need to know.

[Repub4bush]

Hey Dave, I bet we met that day! My husband and I were standing back of the stage with B.G. Burkett most of the day. I cried when I spoke to John, I just couldn't help it, I was so proud of what he was doing...(Silly woman's tears)

I had met up with a FReeper/lucianne member and we hung out all day too.

[ChicagoConservative27]

Absentee ballots not getting counted huh.

[Repub4bush]

Did I miss something?

I was in the kitchen making chili, and you just lost me...LOL

[RasterMaster]

Another point to add...if you have any relatives who have passed since last election, see their county election board to have their names REMOVED FROM THE ROLLS, otherwise you may find out later that they have voted for a DUmocrat.

[ChicagoConservative27]

Caller said his 2000 absentee ballot was not counted in FL.

[hattend]

I wonder how he knows that?

[acsrp38]

New Cabela's opening up tomorrow in Omaha!! WHOO HOO!!!

[Clint N. Suhks]

FUNNY FUNNY e-mail

This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster. The original person called in sick at the last moment.

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI


Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.


Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.


Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.


CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC


Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.


Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT ... Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER


Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.


Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.


Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.


CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY


Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.


Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb


Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI



Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.


Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment.
**I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.


Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI


Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.


Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?


Judge # 3 - No Report

[cibco]

I think the talk show hosts are getting it out.

[Repub4bush]

Ah, sorry I missed it. I was sauteeing onions, and couldn't hear very well. (Laptop is on the counter here, while I am cooking) Do you think I have an addiction to FR? LOL

[ChicagoConservative27]

He didn't say.