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A Man Once Lived Who Confronted Islamic Fanatics-Count Dracula
Conservativehumor.net ^ | 10/14/2006 | Ricky Acuchillador

Posted on 10/14/2006 8:30:13 AM PDT by spartagroup

A Modest Proposal


One Western Guy Easily Found a Solution to Radical Muslim Aggression


By Ricky Acuchillador

© Sparta Group International, September 2006 See more at http://conservativehumor.net “We started posting conservative humor to net in 1990, when 99% of published conservatives wrote only stern commentary.”

There once lived a man who understood how to successfully confront radical Islamic fanatics.

He lived a long time ago, but his exploits remain vivid in the minds of his countrymen today.

That man who learned how to deal with Muslim fundamentalists who insisted on imposing their false religion on his territory was known to his countrymen, and to the stunned world at large, as Count Vlad the Impaler. You many know him as Count Dracula, a real historical figure, not the movie demon.

Westerners and Easterners in the 21st century – Christian, Orthodox Jewish, Hindu, animist Africans and secular Russia and China – are trying to figure out ways to contain suicidal, aggressive Islam, with radical Muslims now openly proclaiming their plans to take over first Western Europe and then the rest of the world.

Non-Muslims mostly either wring their hands nervously or concede ever more power to advancing Islam. No one has any idea how to confront their murderous rage, their lack of desire to compromise, their feverish desires to literally and figuratively slit the throat of the West.

“And the intimidation [of Muslim extremists] succeeds: politicians bowing and scraping to the mob over the cartoons; Saturday's craven New York Times editorial telling the pope to apologize; the plague of self-censorship about anything remotely controversial about Islam -- this in a culture in which a half-naked pop star blithely stages a mock crucifixion as the highlight of her latest concert tour,” wrote nationally syndicated columnist Charles Krauthammer in late September about the latest Islamic outrages. President Bush this year at least made the face of the enemy explicit, identifying our danger as “Islamic fascism,” rather than the unfocused “war on terrorism” he had been proclaiming during the first four years after 9/11.

Muslims openly gloat that their eagerness to slaughter non-Muslims, even at the cost of their own lives, provides their expansionist movement with an unrelenting force that the “decadent” West will fail to resist, sooner or later.

As Henry Kissinger wrote in an important September article: “"We are witnessing a carefully conceived assault, not isolated terrorist attacks, on the international system of respect for sovereignty and territorial integrity. The creation of organizations such as Hezbollah and al-Qaeda symbolizes the fact that transnational loyalties are replacing national ones. The driving force behind this challenge is the jihadist conviction that it is the existing order that is illegitimate."

Well, a man once lived who discovered a way to send aggressive Muslims scurrying back in fright to their own regions -- Count Vlad the Impaler of Romania, better known today as Count Dracula, who ruled in the mid-15th century.

He confronted the last great surge of Islamic expansion that lasted from the 15th to 17th century, as the Ottoman Empire based in Turkey continually attacked the West, often succeeding in conquest. They then forced people to convert to Islam and pay tribute to the Sultan of Istanbul, which is why so many blue-eyed Muslims live today in Slavic regions.

Hundreds of thousands of Christians were killed, tens of thousands of women and children were raped and sold into slavery during these invasions, until a united Christian army defeated the Ottomans at the gates of Vienna in 1688. If not, Vienna might have been re-named “Austrostan,” just as the 1,000-year-old city of Constantinople, built explicitly to become the center of Eastern Christianity, was conquered by Muslims who renamed it Istanbul, and converted its stunning churches into mosques. The Turks would had believed their armies would sweep pass Vienna all the way to the Atlantic, pillaging, slaughtering and making forced conversions all the way to the sea.”

Well, ‘ole Vlad was fighting the Muslims constantly, who periodically invaded his lands and forced him from his castle. That is, until he discovered that Istanbul was sending a huge army to finally defeat and kill him, burn his home and enslave his subjects. He had captured 20,000 Muslim soldiers in a previous battle and was probably holding them for ransom. Instead, as the sultan’s army approached his castle, he ordered his men to impale every single prisoner, male warriors all, on 10-15 feet tall wooden stakes that were then driven into the ground in ragged concentric circles around his castle. “In 1462 Dracula attacked the Turks to drive them out of the Danube River valley. Sultan Mehmed II retaliated by invading Walachia with an army three times larger than Dracula's. Dracula was forced to retreat to his capital, Tirgoviste. He burned his own villages and poisoned wells on the way so that the Turkish army wouldn't have any food or water,” says the website: http://www.royalty.nu/Europe/Balkan/Dracula.html.

“When the sultan reached Tirgoviste, he saw a terrifying scene, remembered in history as ‘the Forest of the Impaled,’” the website continues, in an account backed up by many respected historians. Mehmed took one look at the vast panorama of his fellow impaled Muslims, yanked the reins of his horse around, and galloped back to the thick walls of Istanbul as fast as he could, admitting that one sight of the forest of dangling Muslims impaled on poles had completely unnerved him.

The Turks thereafter called Vlad “Kaziglu Bey,” or "the Impaler Prince." Today’s Muslim fanatics have forgotten about Count Vlad. Osama bin Laden attacked the United States on 9/11 confident that Americans were too soft and decadent to retaliate with any real force, after he had run Bill Clinton out of Somalia so easily in 1993.

Must we impale 20,000 Muslim fanatics in the 21st century to bring them to their senses? Ricky has joined with noted idea man Count John the Spiker, whose traces his noble blood back to an 11th century Norman England volleyball enthusiast, in this article to answer that question,

“No, more modern and less barbaric means exist today, but we have to show the stomach for firm action, or they will keep attacking,” Count John says. Count John says that Western government ought to use Muslim and Arabic TV and radio networks and websites, hacking into them when necessary, to remind Muslims that Islamic scholars five centuries ago discovered signs in the Koran that a fiercely powerful Western leader ‘would arise out of a burning bush just as God did to Moses’ to take on the Muslim world. Well, we ought to remind the radicals what the name of the global leader against their fanaticism is – BUSH. A coincidence? I don’t think so.” “That’s enough to stop radical Muslims in their tracks?” Ricky asked.

“No, of course not,” the Count shot back. “The Burning Bush must rush development of the neutron bomb, which far left Democrats sidetracked in the post-Vietnam orgy of American self-flagellation that also saw the gutting of the CIA and the Armed Forces.”

The U.S. military was developing the neutron bomb as an alternative to the horrendous physical destruction caused by both nuclear and increasingly powerful conventional weapons. Neutron bombs unleash short but intensely powerful streams of radiation that kill humans and animals but leave buildings, highways and other infrastructure intact. The radiation also rapidly dissipates, unlike the radiation that could linger for centuries after the explosion of a hydrogen bomb.

“The neutron bomb would have solved the problem of how to hit back at the overwhelming military strength of the Soviet bloc in any attack on Germany, without leaving then Western Germany more devastated, if that is possible, than Nazi Germany was left after its surrender in May, 1945.

“The Soviets planned to send ten times the number of tanks, planes, artillery and soldiers across the border in deep thrusts into Free Europe,” the Count said. “Millions and millions of well-trained soldiers, heavy tanks and advanced warplanes. For decades, American soldiers in Europe knew they would be expected to sacrifice their lives and attempt to hold back the Soviet offensive until reinforcements could be rushed across the Atlantic. Meanwhile, the cities, highways, factories and citizens of West Germany would be ground to a pulp by the Soviet sledgehammer. The neutron bomb would have prevented this, killing the infantry and tank men inside their armored vehicles, after the West Germans had fled, but letting them have cities to come home to. Idiot Democrats prevented this by derailing the bomb’s further development.”

“So, we rain neutron bombs down on Muslim cities?” Ricky asked.

“No, it wouldn’t be necessary if we had the bomb ready,” the Count spiked back. “Muslims are busily building nuclear weapons and fanatical terrorist groups, believing they can operate safely within their own borders, that the West would never unleash a preemptive attack in fear of the Muslims destroying the oil fields, or by fear of Muslim casualties. With the neutron bomb, President Bush could simply threaten to drop it on North Korean nuclear facilities as well as the massed North Korean armies lined up on the border within 20 miles of South Korea’s capital of Seoul. We could offer the same to Iran, neutron bombing their nuclear facilities and oil fields and their main military bases, leaving their civilians alone. The U.S. military could then coast in to destroy atomic bomb plants and keep the oil fields running until a free Iran wanted them back.”

“That easy?” Ricky asked.

“If we have the fortitude of the Count Spiker, who would slam balls hard directly at opponents head if necessary to win the game,” John said. * * * CALL, WRITE, EMAIL AND LOBBY YOUR CONGRESSMAN OR WOMAN IN PERSON TO BRING BACK THE NEUTRON BOMB. BETTER THAN SEEING MORE AND MORE OF OUR BRAVE AMERICAN MEN AND WOMEN SOLDIERS BLOWN UP BY ROADSIDE BOMBS.

Count Vlad, doing what he does best:

Drawing of the frightened sultan, sent scurrying home by Vlad.



TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; Government; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: dracula; islam; islamicterror; muslim; terror; trop
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To: The Great RJ

To win the war with Islam we have to be feared. No one fears us today! We're PC, not feared. So, we'll eventually lose. Simple. Now, that could change, but does anybody see the US changing THAT much, and, soon enough?


41 posted on 10/14/2006 10:55:49 AM PDT by MrLee
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To: LoudRepublicangirl

Funny how TROP has not tried to plant their infrestation in Rumania. Must be some sort of collective memmory, as they make the haj to a Borg cube..


42 posted on 10/14/2006 11:01:01 AM PDT by sheik yerbouty ( Make America and the world a jihad free zone!)
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To: spartagroup
He learned of impaling during his time in a Turkish prison as a child (I know there's an "Airplane" joke in there somewhere). He certainly did turn back the Muslims, but he wasn't a "good guy". He impaled his own people. One merchant complained to him that his carriage was stolen with all of his money. The next day, he went back to Vlad to thank him and said, "The thieves returned every bit of money and left one more, which I return to you." Vlad said, "Good man! Had you not returned that extra bit, you would be decorating my patio alongside the thieves."

He was a terrible, horrible man...yet one has to be more ruthless than his enemy, not kindler, gentler. Let's just try to find someone who does it to the enemy, but doesn't do it to his own people.

43 posted on 10/14/2006 11:35:51 AM PDT by Squeako (ACLU: "Only Christians, Boy Scouts and War Memorials are too vile to defend.")
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To: Enterprise

David Yeagly knew thats who. Go Read>>>>

I have been following this mans columns for several years, he is way under-rated. He is inspiring to read, to say the least.

http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=1690

"Where is Dracula When You Need Him?"
By David Yeagley
FrontPageMagazine.com | October 15, 2001

"MANY PEOPLE don’t know that Dracula was a real man.
He defended Eastern Europe against invading Turkish Muslims in the 15th century.
If it weren’t for warriors like Dracula, Europe would have been conquered by Turkish and Moorish Muslims. To save their lives, most Europeans would have converted to Islam, as did many Bosnians, Albanians and others. Many would now be speaking Turkish and Arabic. The average European today would likely have ..."


44 posted on 10/14/2006 11:37:49 AM PDT by weldAllday ("Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas")
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To: roses of sharon
Which is why we have to elect a ruthless SOB in 08.

Careful, Hillary could fit that description.

45 posted on 10/14/2006 11:42:14 AM PDT by Tenyaka (Hellary No!)
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To: Tenyaka

Hillary is ruthless to her fellow Americans, not our enemies.

Hence she lacks REAL and true ruthlessness, since she is in NO danger from Americans.


46 posted on 10/14/2006 11:46:52 AM PDT by roses of sharon
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To: Cowboy Bob; EBH; weldAllday
"He is still considered a national hero in Romania."

Well hells bells Cowboy Bob, he's MY hero now!

47 posted on 10/14/2006 12:15:21 PM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: weldAllday; EBH
Thank you both for the links. I, like so many others, have only viewed "Dracula" through the eyes of movie goers who were thrilled and chilled by the vampire that came at night. I flatly did not know that Dracula, in essence, was a good force in the history of mankind. When faced with the invasion of the Muslim hordes, he knew what to do. And he didn't put panties on their heads and give them three square meals a day at GiTMO! Bless you Count Dracula! If your tactics worked then, they will work now. I imagine they will as well against fanatical Muslims and famatical North Koreans!
48 posted on 10/14/2006 12:21:09 PM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: spartagroup
Must we impale 20,000 Muslim fanatics in the 21st century to bring them to their senses?

Lets try it. Who knows it might work........
49 posted on 10/14/2006 2:47:08 PM PDT by festus (The constitution may be flawed but its a whole lot better than what we have now.)
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To: roses of sharon

Yup I can see the campaign speach now. "Vote for me I'm barbaric bloodthirsty and ruthless and if elected I promise a jihadi hanging from every tree !!"

I'd vote for him!


50 posted on 10/14/2006 2:52:43 PM PDT by festus (The constitution may be flawed but its a whole lot better than what we have now.)
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To: spartagroup
Right about now he could start a third political party if he showed up.
51 posted on 10/14/2006 3:02:18 PM PDT by Caipirabob (Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: spartagroup
Count Dracula's theme song:

"Hair of the Dog," by Nazareth.

Now you're messin' with a son-of-a-bitch...

52 posted on 10/14/2006 8:12:06 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Hugo Chavez is the Devil! The podium still smells of sulfur...)
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To: weldAllday
Except that his real name was Vlad Tepas and his father's nickname, which the family took for a last name, was DRACUL; not "Dracula".

Bram Stoker knew about this king, but actually based the character ( DRACULA ) on the personality of England's most famous actor/theatre manager of the time, for whom Bram worked.

53 posted on 10/14/2006 8:18:01 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: weldAllday

Oh and IIRC Dracul translates to the English word "dragon".


54 posted on 10/14/2006 8:20:26 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: cripplecreek

Use the DeadWood technique of disposing of the bodies.


55 posted on 10/14/2006 8:21:52 PM PDT by TASMANIANRED (The Internet is the samizdat of liberty..)
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To: spartagroup

...remind Muslims that Islamic scholars five centuries ago discovered signs in the Koran that a fiercely powerful Western leader ‘would arise out of a burning bush just as God did to Moses’ to take on the Muslim world. Well, we ought to remind the radicals what the name of the global leader against their fanaticism is – BUSH. A coincidence? I don’t think so.”...

WOW!


56 posted on 10/15/2006 8:11:04 AM PDT by Jo Nuvark (Those who bless Israel will be blessed, those who curse Israel will be cursed. Gen 12:3)
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To: spartagroup
The polish movie about John III Sobieski had a scene where the turncoat muslim adopted son was impaled on a stake.

Impalement is not as portrayed above.

The victim is held still and ankles bound to a horse or other strong moving object. The pole is dragged up into the rectum and into the guts. The pole is then made upright and the victim has a slow long painful death where they can scream all they want while they bleed or rot to death.

In Allen Eckman's book The Frontiersman - a group of Shawnee leave a frontier explorer impaled - sitting on the ground so as to slow down any trackers and give themselves a head start. The victim remained upright while he died and didn't slump over thus apprearing to be only asleep and requiring time consuming attention.

57 posted on 10/15/2006 8:19:22 AM PDT by x_plus_one
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