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| Ernest P. Worrel | Mike Rowe |
Posted on 10/06/2006 10:01:36 AM PDT by Ultra Sonic 007
New evidence from unmanned underwater cameras has proved that dolphins are only pretending to be friendly to humans and that the moment that our backs are turned, a sour and indignant expression returns to their faces.
The discovery, which will traumatise animal lovers the world over, was made when Californian marine biologist Mike Varney sensed that the smiling, chattering manner of dolphins and porpoises was somehow a little insincere. He set up a series of remote controlled underwater cameras to record ceteceans interacting with swimmers and divers and then filmed the same dolphins as they left their human companions.
‘It’s fascinating’ said Varney. ‘As the excited eco-tourists climb onto the boat, still thrilled at their real-life encounter with wild bottlenose dolphins, you can see the dolphins turn away and their cheerful expression suddenly changes. They looked really pissed off, and were sort of tutting and looking skywards. It’s like they were saying ‘I AM SO BORED OF THIS!’
Varney’s research has also demonstrated that their high-pitched animated chattering is also contrived and phoney. Amongst themselves, dolphins manage little more than an occasional indignant grunt, and often can’t even bothered to reply to other family members.
This is the second major discovery by maverick naturalist Varney. Last year his remote controlled cameras discovered that gorillas are actually really smiley when they are left to themselves.
Reminds me of a Simpsons "Treehouse of Horrors" episode.
My initial thought was, maybe it's we humans who make them smile. Rather than give the dolphins the label "phony and contrived", maybe interacting with us gives them pleasure.... like my kitties who purr when I am close to them.
I was going to say - they act like a Democrats visiting a black church. ;)
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ROFLMAO....wow I just had a vision of Hitlery "you know what I'm talkin bout" moment.
Oh, it's like Scrappleface, should have known!!
How did you beat me to this?! I should rend thee in the gobberwarts. See if I don't.
El Rushbo would ask, if dolphins are so goshdarn smart,
"Where are the underwater dolphin cities?"
"Where are the underwater dolphin universities?"
"Where are the underwater dolphin daycare centers?"
"Where are the underwater dolphin affordable housing projects?"
(Liberal response: "Rush, dolphins don't have hands!")
Let the buggers frown - so long as they don't start wearing turbans and plotting jihad!
NO NOT VOGON POETRY!!! AAAAAGH!
"So long and thanks for all the fish"
Or John Kerry eating a fast-food hamburger.
Well, then, I say screw the dolphin-safe tuna and bring on the porpoise steaks!
Mmmmmm--grilled porpoise!
"New evidence from unmanned underwater cameras has proved that dolphins are only pretending to be friendly to humans and that the moment that our backs are turned, a sour and indignant expression returns to their faces. "
How about this. "New evidence from unmanned underwater cameras has proved that dolphins are in need of our attention since the moment that our backs are turned, an expression that appears to be loneliness returns to their faces."
Same expression, same result and it didn't take a massive research grant to come up with that conclusion. Mike Varney? More like Jim Varney.
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Well, this just reinforces my idea that they really are pretty smart. I mean only mentally challenged people walk around with a goofy smile on their face all day. Don't people normally smile and someone and return to a normal, or even sour face if they are upset about someone. Doesn't mean people are different.
One of my favorite movies - Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
LOL, just what I was thinking. I say "let 'em laughed when they're crammed in a can"
I guess the joke's on us ;-)
This is fiction for Dolphins, but all too true for Muslims.
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| Ernest P. Worrel | Mike Rowe |
Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon
See if I don't.
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