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Worst ways to get fired
cnn.com ^ | 9-7-06 | Jeanne Sahadi

Posted on 09/07/2006 7:26:59 AM PDT by Hydroshock

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- You probably have never done a perp walk, been suspected of stealing or been treated as if you were a toxic agent.

Yet you may feel like you have if you ever are laid off by a company that practices some of the moves ripped straight from The Corporate Guide to Crazy.

Quiz Take the quiz

How safe is your job? Take this quiz to size up your chances of being fired. Good luck.

1. Have you ratcheted up your career skills? Have you learned something new in the past 90 days (mastery of a piece of software, an accounting formula, a foreign language, etc.)? Yes No

Your turn

Ever been given the boot in a way you'd characterize as unusually heartless? (Tell us about it.)

The list of dehumanized moves is long and not likely to get shorter in an age where speed, telecommuting, cost cutting, efficiency and assets rather than human capital are king.

"The things that get done in the name of expediency are quite shocking," said Dale Klamfoth, senior vice president at WJM Associates, an executive and organizational development firm.

Just last week we were treated to news of 400 employees at Radio Shack who were laid off by e-mail.

Before that we heard of money-saving tips offered to newly laid-off employees at Northwest. The list includes helpful advice like "Don't be shy about pulling something you like out of the trash" and that ever-useful tip when you lose a job: "Bicycle to work."

Based on conversations with several human resource experts, here are some examples of companies that followed the advice in the Corporate Guide chapter "Layoffs: Six Easy Strategies

(Excerpt) Read more at money.cnn.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: generalchatroom; jobs
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1 posted on 09/07/2006 7:27:05 AM PDT by Hydroshock
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To: Hydroshock

#1. From a cannon


2 posted on 09/07/2006 7:28:14 AM PDT by Darkwolf377
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To: Hydroshock
"I need you to interview a new guy in 30 minutes."

"Sure thing - what position am I interviewing him for?"

"Your job."

3 posted on 09/07/2006 7:33:24 AM PDT by patton (Sanctimony frequently reaps its own reward.)
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To: Hydroshock

Happiness is watching it happen to the boss that wanted to get rid of you...


4 posted on 09/07/2006 7:35:12 AM PDT by meandog (While Clinton isn't fit even to scrape Reagan's shoes, Bush will never fill them!)
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To: patton

A friend of mine quit, but reconsidered when they counter offered. One of his points was he was over worked and they needed help. He the following week interviewed a few people anch choose who they hired. He trained him for 2 weeks and then was laid off on a Friday. He new job and old job were gone. He hired and trained his replacement.


5 posted on 09/07/2006 7:36:33 AM PDT by Hydroshock ( (Proverbs 22:7). The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.)
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To: Hydroshock

A place where I was, they brought in someone known to be a hatchet man. He identified and laid off some 25% of the people, then created a new org chart, his own name somewhere in the upper echelon. The next week, when he attempted to come into the office, his card-key had been disabled, and when he buzzed security, they showed up with his stuff boxed up and a court order to stay away from the business.


6 posted on 09/07/2006 7:37:02 AM PDT by theDentist (Qwerty ergo typo : I type, therefore I misspelll.)
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To: Hydroshock
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- You probably have never done a perp walk, been suspected of stealing or been treated as if you were a toxic agent.


7 posted on 09/07/2006 7:37:13 AM PDT by ChadGore (VISUALIZE 62,041,268 Bush fans. We Vote.)
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To: ChadGore

LOL!! Now why didn't I think of that example?


8 posted on 09/07/2006 7:38:20 AM PDT by theDentist (Qwerty ergo typo : I type, therefore I misspelll.)
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To: patton

One of the big tax preparation companies (I believe it is Jackson Hewitt) is running an ad on TV where the boss is telling a worker about the tax company's available training for tax preparation specialists. The worker asks why he is being told this, and the boss says, "Because you're fired" and then proceeds to do the same to another employee.


9 posted on 09/07/2006 7:39:54 AM PDT by fredhead (Women want me....Fish fear me....I can dream can't I?)
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To: patton

Oh, my. Funny. And sad. One would need to rent 'Office Space' after that.


10 posted on 09/07/2006 7:43:27 AM PDT by fortunecookie
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To: Hydroshock

That is cold!


11 posted on 09/07/2006 7:44:28 AM PDT by mom4kittys (If velvet could sing, it would sound like Josh Groban)
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To: Hydroshock

Now that's just wrong.


12 posted on 09/07/2006 7:45:35 AM PDT by wastedyears
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To: Hydroshock

I worked with a guy who was worthless. We had a 90 day probation period. On the Sunday before his 90 says was up, I saw his job in the paper. So did he. He came in on Monday and asked our boss about the ad. Our boss replied "Come into my office".

That was rude.


13 posted on 09/07/2006 7:46:15 AM PDT by AppyPappy (If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem.)
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To: mom4kittys

He thought so as well. I myself was asked to train the Koreans who were taking my job through outsourcing. I was offered a new position halfway during the training and quit.


14 posted on 09/07/2006 7:47:11 AM PDT by Hydroshock ( (Proverbs 22:7). The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.)
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To: AppyPappy

I wonce was told of a lay off by my key card not working.


15 posted on 09/07/2006 7:48:25 AM PDT by Hydroshock ( (Proverbs 22:7). The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.)
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To: Hydroshock
A friend of mine quit, but reconsidered when they counter offered. One of his points was he was over worked and they needed help. He the following week interviewed a few people anch choose who they hired. He trained him for 2 weeks and then was laid off on a Friday. He new job and old job were gone. He hired and trained his replacement.

This is why you NEVER take counter offers. Mgmt will do this almost every time.

16 posted on 09/07/2006 7:49:39 AM PDT by Centurion2000 (Property tax is feudalism. Income taxes are armed robbery of the minority by the majority.)
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To: meandog
"Happiness is watching it happen to the boss that wanted to get rid of you ..."

I had the pleasure of a similar experience eight or nine years ago. The ex-boss wasn't fired but instead was demoted, relegated to a small office, and given meaningless, mind-numbing tasks. After this happened, I always greeted him in the hallway with a broad smile and warm "hello" just to watch his bah-humbug reaction. Revenge is sweet, indeed.
17 posted on 09/07/2006 7:49:48 AM PDT by riverdawg
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To: Hydroshock
My mother-in-law was passed up for a promotion and then told she was going to have to train her new boss because he had no idea what she or her department did. Her response was, "He must be smarter than me since he got the job instead of me so he can figure it out himself and by the way, here are my retirement papers." She figured that he would replace her with one of his cronies as soon as she trained him anyway, as he was an 'Affirmative Action' hire.
18 posted on 09/07/2006 7:51:41 AM PDT by RebelBanker (If you can't do something smart, do something right.)
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To: Hydroshock

He should have sued them for that. There are plenty of working folks out there who would award him good coin for a company's actions like that.


19 posted on 09/07/2006 7:52:19 AM PDT by misterrob
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To: Hydroshock
Back when the earth was cooling and I was at JPMorgan, every member of the trading floor staff who left for any reason, was monitored by security while they took personal items only from their desk, and then escorted to the building door where their key-card was collected.

The very first time I saw it, it looked like a perp walk, but there was no shame in it since it happened to everyone.

Eventually you didn't even notice the security.

20 posted on 09/07/2006 7:53:13 AM PDT by tcostell (MOLON LABE)
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