Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

She's repulsed by her baby
azstarnet ^ | August 24, 2006

Posted on 08/24/2006 10:28:15 PM PDT by beaversmom

● DEAR ABBY: I'm 26 and have never wanted children. Last year, however, two lines appeared on a pregnancy test, and 41 weeks later, the girl was born. I pleaded and begged my husband throughout the pregnancy to sign adoption papers with me. He refused. He is in the military and was gone most of the last seven months. We now live thousands of miles from my family, and I am miserable, stuck with a colicky baby who still doesn't sleep through the night.

I find no joy, no pleasure and no love being a mother. I can't sleep knowing I must wake up to a crying baby and the same routine of feeding, diapers, baths and bottles. I have become more and more detached from the girl and have nothing to enjoy. I can't even enjoy a cup of coffee without looking over my shoulder to see where the girl is. I don't want her to touch me, and I can barely hide my revulsion.

I am exhausted beyond belief, and my thoughts are turning darker every day. It's not the girl's fault she was born, but I can't help feeling resentment and anger toward this little person who more and more resembles a block of concrete on my feet.

We can't afford day care, and we have no friends or relatives close by. These long stretches of crying have my nerves shot and my hands itching to shake the girl until she shuts up. (I have never shaken her.) I'm scared of my feelings. What's wrong with me? Why can't I love my child? Should I put her in foster care? My husband can't stand her either, but he's adamant that we keep her. Yet I'm suffering, and so is she. She deserves a mother who loves her. — Going Crazy in San Diego

DEAR GOING CRAZY: It's not a crime not to feel maternal — not everyone is. In a case like yours, adoption might have been the better option. I can only recommend that before another day goes by, you contact the doctor who delivered your daughter, or her pediatrician, and repeat what you have told me. You may be suffering from postpartum depression, a hormonal condition that is treatable, and you may need a respite from motherhood. Once your chemistry is balanced again, visit your family for a few weeks. If you leave the baby with your husband, he may begin to see the wisdom of placing her with a family that really wants her and is willing to accept the responsibility that goes along with having a baby.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; US: California
KEYWORDS: dearabbyfiction; depression; everythingyouread; fakebutaccurate; hoaxedupletter; junkjournalism; madeupletters; postpartum; whochecksthisstuff
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 241-247 next last
Why wouldn't this idiot have gotten her tubes tied? It sounds like she's going to kill the little girl if someone doesn't intervene. What a horrible situation for a defenseless baby to be in.
1 posted on 08/24/2006 10:28:15 PM PDT by beaversmom
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: beaversmom

Tell her to wait a while, the kid will grow up and hate her back


2 posted on 08/24/2006 10:30:30 PM PDT by woofie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: beaversmom
I admire her for not having an abortion when she admits she does not want children. I sincerely hope that she and her husband can agree to give this child up for adoption. It will be better for all three of them.
3 posted on 08/24/2006 10:32:02 PM PDT by Talking_Mouse (wahhab delenda est)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: beaversmom

This letter makes no sense. She does not want the child and her husband does not want the child. So why are they both punishing the child by not allowing her to be adopted?


4 posted on 08/24/2006 10:35:26 PM PDT by Dustbunny (The BIBLE - Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: beaversmom

This is not normal. She needs help.


5 posted on 08/24/2006 10:36:38 PM PDT by Cedar
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: beaversmom
Dear Abby gave this woman terrible advice. I would advise her to take the baby immediately to the nearest hospital and leave the child there, with or without her husband's consent. Do it while Mr. Dickhead is out of the house. Most states these days have some version of the law that allows parents to just drop off their unwanted infants rather than have the kid wind up dead in a dumpster somewhere.

After telling this chick to bring the baby to the nearest hospital and drop her off, I'd then tell her that she is one of the most selfish bitches it's ever been my misfortune to encounter. She and her husband both deserve each other, but they better both go get themselves fixed so they can't have more kids. Scum. Absolute scum!

6 posted on 08/24/2006 10:37:58 PM PDT by Wolfstar (Suffer the little children to come unto Me...for of such is the kingdom of God. [Mark 10:13-14])
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dustbunny

Actually, it appears that she wanted to give the baby up for adoption, but her husband is refusing to consent and the consent of nboth parents is needed. Hopefully, he will come around, for the baby's sake.


7 posted on 08/24/2006 10:39:11 PM PDT by LWalk18
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: beaversmom

The poor child. Not only colicky but probably feeling the lack of love from the parents.


8 posted on 08/24/2006 10:39:58 PM PDT by skr (We cannot play innocents abroad in a world that is not innocent.-- Ronald Reagan)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Comment #9 Removed by Moderator

To: beaversmom


Someone please call Children's Services. Quick!


10 posted on 08/24/2006 10:40:29 PM PDT by Paperdoll (.........Washingtonians, vote for McGavick!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: LWalk18
...but her husband is refusing to consent and the consent of nboth parents is needed.

No it's not. She just takes the baby to the nearest hospital, drops it off saying it's not wanted, and leaves. End of saga.

11 posted on 08/24/2006 10:41:33 PM PDT by Wolfstar (Suffer the little children to come unto Me...for of such is the kingdom of God. [Mark 10:13-14])
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: beaversmom

Someone needs some quality time at the funny farm, and that baby needs a lifetime with a family that will raise her with all the love she needs.


12 posted on 08/24/2006 10:41:49 PM PDT by GLH3IL (What's good for America is bad for liberals.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Wolfstar

You are assuming that she is telling the truth about her husband also being "repulsed" by the little girl. He might actually want her. She could simply be trying to justify where feelings by normalizing them. "It's not just me, hubby hates her too."


13 posted on 08/24/2006 10:42:46 PM PDT by okiecon
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: beaversmom
I know I shouldn't have but I laughed about the part that "he can't stand her either" Stressed out moms tend to have col icy babies who can make the most caring mothers cry and depressed. 3 months of sleep deprivation, and screaming, and this woman (if she is for real) had issues to begin with. Hopefully soon, a time will come when she and the baby make eye contact and their souls bond. I wonder if she can go home to family awhile. My DIL had a hard time with her first. My son was deployed and we had enough concerns that we went and got them. Between the two of us my granddaughter still wore us both out. The only thing that worked was a car ride. My DIL still laughs about the 2am what a burger runs:')
14 posted on 08/24/2006 10:42:58 PM PDT by CindyDawg
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Paperdoll

What good with that do.

Hopefully the kid doesn't become screwed up.


15 posted on 08/24/2006 10:43:00 PM PDT by Ainast
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Wolfstar
She and her husband both deserve each other, but they better both go get themselves fixed so they can't have more kids. Scum. Absolute scum!

She and her husband may have psychological issues, but they are not "scum". Not everyone wants children, and it would have been far easier for her to have an abortion and be done with it. Instead, hopefully if the father goes around, a baby will be with a set of parents desparate to give it a home. She would be "scum" to raise the baby and hate it along with the father in order to keep up appearances.

16 posted on 08/24/2006 10:43:19 PM PDT by LWalk18
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: beaversmom
... I can barely hide my revulsion. ... My husband can't stand her either...

I'm speechless.

17 posted on 08/24/2006 10:43:46 PM PDT by calcowgirl ("Liberalism is just Communism sold by the drink." P. J. O'Rourke)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Wolfstar
Then there wouldn't be any children exposed to this kind of danger from these two pieces of human excrement.

Why are you calling her husband who is in the Marines or the Navy (She's in San Diego) a "piece of human excrement"? It's not his fault he is deployed and can't be there.

18 posted on 08/24/2006 10:43:59 PM PDT by FreedomCalls (It's the "Statue of Liberty," not the "Statue of Security.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: GLH3IL

I know what it is to wish desperatedly for a child. I can't fathom how anyone could feel this way about their baby.


19 posted on 08/24/2006 10:44:23 PM PDT by pnz1
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Wolfstar

This baby isn't a newborn, it may not fall under the same Safe Haven laws. A parent can be arrested for abandoning a child in a hospital if there is no such law, or if the child is older.


20 posted on 08/24/2006 10:45:44 PM PDT by LWalk18
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 241-247 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson