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Oilman Bush has gas in background
The Boston Herald ^
| 8/24/06
| by Margery Eagan
Posted on 08/24/2006 1:01:26 PM PDT by metesky
Oilman Bush has gas in background
By Margery Eagan
Boston Herald Columnist
Thursday, August 24, 2006 - Updated: 02:19 AM EST
Maybe if Iraq were going better, Id chalk this up to some cowboy thing.Blazing Saddles Does D.C.
As it is, I worry that the supposed leader of the free world is trapped in the body of a 7-year-old and hiding a Whoopie Cushion under his bed.
Has Dubya lost it?
Anyway, heres the news, such as it is. U.S. New & World Reports Paul Bedard says our commander in chief loves flatulence jokes . . . cant get enough of fart jokes. Hes also known to cut a few for laughs, especially when greeting new young aides.
In an interview yesterday, Bedard, who writes Washington Whispers for the weekly newsmagazine, also said hes heard about Bushs full-salute Austin Greeting. Thats when new aides come in for their meet and greet.
Word is, says Bedard, he likes to gas a couple, and then bring the aide in and see what the kids face looks like.
Naturally, the aide cant accuse the President or grimace or hold his nose. This dilemma apparently drives the presidential funny bone wild.
So does this mean our president farts on command?
Its all in what you eat, I guess . . . beans, nachos, Bedard told me yesterday.
Does he do this with Cheney, Rummy and Rove?
You mean the old farts? says Bedard. I like to think so.
OK, almost no one I talked to yesterday shared my reaction to all this, which is, gross, gross, gross. Can you even envision Mitt Romney? John Kerry? Te-ray-za?
Imagine the scene with Bush. Some nervous, excited and unsuspecting 25-year-old - male, lets hope - is about to shake hands with the most powerful man on earth, and then, well, George makes his own unique contribution to global warming.
As for the scene with Cheney et. al? Oh, banish it from the brain!
Yet most everybody else said this reveals George as a regular guy.
Then they made jokes. Dyslexia rears its ugly head, said Becky Swope. Hes not a frat boy!
Hes just ringing the Taco Bell! said Jeff, who owns a pet store in Salem and didnt want his last name used, for obvious reasons.
Well protect, too, my sober, downtown law firm friend Stephen, lest he get fired: As a new young intern in the White House, which would you rather have the president say, Pull my finger, or Have a cigar?
Thats my point. Gross.
So too the bodily habits of previous presidents, most notably Lyndon Johnson, who scratched his crotch at Cabinet meetings, held other meetings while sitting on the toilet and pulled up his shirt to display an ample stomach surgery scar.
I did not know this until yesterday. (I wish I still didnt know it.) Harry Truman publicly belched and passed gas. Bess, how could you allow it!
But when you add up all Dubyas shenanigans, hes already beaten his predecessors by a Texas mile. Just last month he sneak-attacked German chancellor Angela Merkel, delivering an unwanted neck and back rub in the midst of the staid Group of Eight Summit.
Every time hes close to bald-head strangers, he starts rubbing their head. Whats that about? Hes big into noogies as well.
Maybe this is a gender thing. Several men, but no women, told me they remember sitting around with buddies having loudest bodily function contests when they were young. The key word there, however, is young.
But this latest leak from the Bush White House does explain a lot, doesnt it? All those furrowed brows and deer-in-the-headlights pauses in his speeches and press conferences. And that devilish litle laugh.
Now we know: something else could be going on there. Ill never look at George again without wondering.
TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: pullmyfinger
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Margery Eagan takes a deep breath...
1
posted on
08/24/2006 1:01:27 PM PDT
by
metesky
To: metesky
There's an echo in here...
2
posted on
08/24/2006 1:02:41 PM PDT
by
kinoxi
To: metesky
Not only is W a dummy, he's into locker room humor too!!
Egads, have these dullards gone round the bend or what?
3
posted on
08/24/2006 1:03:34 PM PDT
by
Al Gator
(Refusing to "stoop to your enemy's level", gets you cut off at the knees.)
To: metesky
our commander in chief loves flatulence jokes"Who doesn't?
4
posted on
08/24/2006 1:03:58 PM PDT
by
Lekker 1
(("Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau" - I. Fisher, Yale Econ Prof, 1929))
To: kinoxi
5
posted on
08/24/2006 1:05:00 PM PDT
by
metesky
("Brethren, leave us go amongst them." Rev. Capt. Samuel Johnston Clayton - Ward Bond- The Searchers)
To: Lekker 1
Bill Cosby has more of them than anyone else!
LLS
6
posted on
08/24/2006 1:05:36 PM PDT
by
LibLieSlayer
(Preserve America... kill terrorists... destroy dims!)
To: Lekker 1
My wife has been telling me, "Now cut that out!", for forty years.
7
posted on
08/24/2006 1:06:17 PM PDT
by
metesky
("Brethren, leave us go amongst them." Rev. Capt. Samuel Johnston Clayton - Ward Bond- The Searchers)
To: metesky
Makes me admire Bush even more! A good sense of humor.
Don't light a match! :)
8
posted on
08/24/2006 1:06:31 PM PDT
by
cvq3842
To: metesky
Filing next to the hurricane machine story.
9
posted on
08/24/2006 1:06:59 PM PDT
by
SaxxonWoods
(Free Iran! WARNING! Forbidden Cartoon: .. . *-O(( :-{>. . . .)
To: metesky
Well, dang. Those bean burritos do come back to haunt you!.......
10
posted on
08/24/2006 1:07:22 PM PDT
by
Red Badger
(Is Castro dead yet?........)
To: cvq3842
Makes me admire Bush even more! A good sense of humor.I'm with ya, cvq. I couldn't believe no one posted this before.
11
posted on
08/24/2006 1:09:55 PM PDT
by
metesky
("Brethren, leave us go amongst them." Rev. Capt. Samuel Johnston Clayton - Ward Bond- The Searchers)
To: metesky
What mary does not understand is that almost all men like fart jokes.
Lockerroom humor is what sets us apart from the animals. That and the ability to weasel out of things.
12
posted on
08/24/2006 1:10:00 PM PDT
by
Holicheese
(MMMMM fried clams.)
To: metesky
Well, Molly Ivins doesn't have to feel lonely. Now there are two highly-paid utter moonbat twits getting regular exposure in a 'major news outlet'.
13
posted on
08/24/2006 1:10:51 PM PDT
by
BelegStrongbow
(www.stjosephssanford.org)
To: cvq3842
This tickles me, too.
As does the thought of George saying this to Ms. Eagan or whatever her name is...
"Hey Margery! Let me curl the hair on the back of your neck!"
14
posted on
08/24/2006 1:11:11 PM PDT
by
Dinah Lord
(fighting the Islamic Jihad - one keystroke at a time...)
To: metesky
15
posted on
08/24/2006 1:11:47 PM PDT
by
day10
(Whenever you come near the human race, there's layers and layers of nonsense.)
To: metesky
This is a sure sign that things are going better for the President lately.
16
posted on
08/24/2006 1:12:42 PM PDT
by
SaxxonWoods
(Free Iran! WARNING! Forbidden Cartoon: .. . *-O(( :-{>. . . .)
To: metesky
What Mary needs is to be stuck in an elevator!
To: day10
There is nothing quite like good hard-hitting journalism
18
posted on
08/24/2006 1:13:58 PM PDT
by
AppyPappy
(If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem.)
To: INSENSITIVE GUY
19
posted on
08/24/2006 1:16:37 PM PDT
by
metesky
("Brethren, leave us go amongst them." Rev. Capt. Samuel Johnston Clayton - Ward Bond- The Searchers)
To: metesky
This is a satire about water-cooler gossip, right? For it to be written as an actual journalistic endeavor speaks volumes about the decline of journalism.
20
posted on
08/24/2006 1:16:45 PM PDT
by
crazyhorse691
(Diplomacy doesn't work when seagulls rain on your parade. A shotgun and umbrella does.)
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