Posted on 08/23/2006 2:00:16 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd
You have heard the old joke: I just flew in from New York and, boy, my arms are tired. While it's not very funny, I must report that I flew in from Australia and my arms were tired.
My arms got tired from clutching my see-through plastic security bag, which I had read Down Under was required for international flights in lieu of the usual hand luggage.
In this bag, I had my passport and ticket, a pen for filling in the form declaring, among other things, that I never visited a farm during my stay, and one pair of clean underwear.
As it turned out, I was the only one on the jumbo jet with a see-through plastic security bag, let alone one that provided scenic views of underwear. Everybody else brought regular carry-on luggage (although not as much as usual).
Of course, every prudent traveler should have spare underwear in his or her carry-on. It's all about what your mother always said: Make sure to have clean underwear in case you are in an accident. If the plane has to ditch at sea, the captain will illuminate the sign to fasten seat belts and underwear.
(Excerpt) Read more at postgazette.com ...
These days, you have to be in business or first class to get the champagne and pheasant-in-aspic treatment. On long flights, the whole economy class seethes with resentment at the thought of all the decadent foot massages going on up in the front cabin.
Those darn swells! What did they ever do to deserve such pampering, other than -- you know -- working for Halliburton or being a weird self-confessed killer coming back from Bangkok?
" [In the gnome's cave]
Gnome 1: This is where all our work is done.
Kyle: So what are you gonna do with all these underpants you steal?
Gnome 1: Collecting underpants is just phase one. Phase one: collect underpants.
Kyle: So what's phase two?
[Silence]
Gnome 1: Hey, what's phase two?!
Gnome 2: Phase one: we collect underpants.
Gnome 1: Ya, ya, ya. But what about phase two?
[Silence]
Gnome 2: Well, phase three is profit. Get it?
Stan: I don't get it.
Gnome 2: (Goes over to a chart on the wall) You see, Phase one: collect underpants, phase two-
[Silence]
Gnome 2: Phase three: profit.
Cartman: Oh I get it.
Stan: No you don't.
Kyle: Do you guys know anything about corporations?
Gnome 2: You bet we do.
Gnome 1: Us gnomes are geniuses at corporations. "
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Mother always said to have clean underwear in case I was in an accident.
Well, I eventually was in one. The underwear started out clean, but it wasn't by the time the accident was finished. As Bill Cosby put it, "First you say it, and then you do it!"
Carry-on always contains a change of underwear, socks and shirt, as well as mini ditty-bag (contents of which now need to be reviewed).
You never know when you're going to get an involuntary overnight stay due to travel problems or something going wrong with the aircraft while in the air.
I had lunch with a buddy today who told me that he and his wife put all their dirty laundry in their carry on bag when they returned FRom a week-long trip.
One suspects that their carry on luggage did not get too much scrutiny?
I tried to find this guy funny, but the more he wrote, the more he sounded like a whining teenager. Whine. Whine. Whine. It is what liberals are best at.
So then you carry your diry underwear in the clear-plastic bag?
I tried to find this guy funny, but the more he wrote, the more he sounded like a whining teenager. Whine. Whine. Whine. It is what liberals are best at.
I doubt youngsters today know the meaning of that archaic term. Probably thought you were saying "ti**y-bag.
No wonder you were getting strange looks!
lolol
"Admittedly, Houdini couldn't put on new underwear while confined in an economy class seat, so if an emergency ever happens to you, simply put the underwear on your head as an improvised safety helmet. This won't do any good, but at least the searchers will know you were thinking of your mother at the last."
Of course, if a person is a terrorist, doing as the author suggests could result in the nuclear annihlilation of the United States.
I remember reading that during the D-Day invasion that the troops were required to wear clean skivvies. Having been in the Infantry, Viet Nam, where we never wore skivvies how that helped. After a month, in my time, the issue might have been moot.
It's a old Navy term. (Kind of like calling a duffle bag a "sea bag".
You're cute.
LOL!!
You ARE going to post a picture of said underwear on this thread aren't you?
We're all dying to see it.. through the plastic bag.
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