Is Tomorrow Doomsday?

ABC ^ | 8/21/06 | Brian Ross

[nopardons]

Hmmmmmmmmmm....not the same ones I have.

[ARealMothersSonForever]

By the way, I flew commercial today. After poring over the regulations for hours, I came up with a way to fly in comfort and style (somewhat). The regs are:
Definition Of "Liquid" The definition of liquids by the TSA and UK Department of Transport includes gels, pastes, lotions, liquid/solid mixtures and the contents of pressurized containers. Examples of these items include toothpaste, hair gel, drinks, soups, syrups, perfume, deodorant, shaving foam and aerosols.
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Items Prohibited In Carry-On Baggage To/From ALL Destinations The following are examples of items restricted from passing the security checkpoint or entering an aircraft cabin. However, in general, all liquids, gels and aerosols of any kind are prohibited aboard aircraft and from entering airport sterile areas through security checkpoints.
Toiletries - shampoo, toothpaste, mouthwash, perfume, shaving foam, aerosols Cosmetic products - perfume, hair spray, lip gloss, mascara, nail polish, makeup removers/cleansers, foundation Non-solid food items - soups, syrups, pressurized food containers (cheese or whipped cream), gelatin, pudding, yogurt Liquid soaps, sanitizers, bath oils, bubble bath Any pressurized containers Any creams, ointments or lotions All other liquids/gels not listed here

Needless to say, this puts a crimp on hygiene and nutrition. Therefor, in true ARMSF style, I endeavored to beat the system. Solids are not prohibited. After glancing around the ARMSF domicile, my gaze became fixed upon the freezer. I know, the consistency of a banana was not clarified by the TSA. Being in no mood to take a chance, I placed two ripe Chaquita's underneath the rump roast. Since my grand-daddy told me that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and our airlines consider a $4.00 bag of crap to be breakfast; something had to be done.

Powdered milk to go with my solid cereal was out of the question. A few moments of study yielded the information that ZipLock makes a baggie that will hold 1/2 cup of whole milk. The real challenge was to freeze it in such a fashion as to where it could be worn as a solid, or carried on as a solid. Mrs. ARMSF was convinced that such an endeavor was foolish. She was absolutely correct. The discomfort from taping frozen milk inside skivvies was astonishing. Yet it remained a solid.

The bananas were a whole 'nother kettle of fish. Turns out, if you freeze bananas, they get nasty brown. But it was unnecessary. Bananas can fly without being turned solid.

I guess the whole point to this little diatribe is that with the current restrictions the airlines must properly feed and water us, even if it is not in grandiose style. Or someone is going to smuggle a Jello pudding pop onboard as a solid.

[Miss Behave]

I think that I'll give the middle finger in Iran's general direction ALL DAY LONG. It'll be hard to talk on my cell and drive and give 'em the finger all at once, or try on shoes and sip my Starbuck's and give 'em the finger all at once, or lie on the beach and adjust my sunglasses and give 'em the finger all at once, or read my rag mags and paint my toenails and give 'em the finger all at once, or scratch and pick and toot and give 'em the finger all at once ...and I'll probably get a bad cramp in my arm and hand and finger but...it'll be worth it. If I have to, I'll put all those other great things off till another day. ;-)

Hi there, Piss!

[Miss Behave]

I think that I'll give the middle finger in Iran's general direction ALL DAY LONG. It'll be hard to talk on my cell and drive and give 'em the finger all at once, or try on shoes and sip my Starbuck's and give 'em the finger all at once, or lie on the beach and adjust my sunglasses and give 'em the finger all at once, or read my rag mags and paint my toenails and give 'em the finger all at once, or scratch and pick and toot and give 'em the finger all at once ...and I'll probably get a bad cramp in my arm and hand and finger but...it'll be worth it. If I have to, I'll put all those other great things off till another day. ;-)

Hi there, Piss!

[Junior_G]

Every day represents an important historical event on the Islamic calendar. When your religion spends all of its time murdering people, you're inevitably going to have a lot of history to keep track of.

Good point. And hasn't August 22 already occurred at least one or two times in the past? Why is this particular August 22 so menacing?

[NewLand]

Is Tomorrow Doomsday?

I'll let you know on Wednesday.

[onyx]

LOL!

[woofie]

So far so good

[demlosers]

We still here?

[Billthedrill]

Yeah, I guess. I gotta say this end of the world has been a bit of a disappointment. I mean, I'm gonna be hung over in the morning and the boss is gonna say "Drill, what's the matter with you?" and I'm gonna say "Well, boss, I wuz kinda expecting the end of the world but you know how that goes, it was only intestinal gas." It happens.

Still got cold beer in the fridge and the popcorn's just ready. Which brings us to the Indians. Talk about holding out on us - yeah, they invented popcorn, but then they must have invented microwave ovens too. And did Pochahontas share this with John Smith (a likely name, BTW) - well, did she? No! And I wanna know why not...

'Night, everyone. I'll be facing the end of the world with Led Zeppelin and AC/DC. If it doesn't happen, well, I guess I'll just have to try again. (Hic!)

[demlosers]

LoL!

[WestVirginiaRebel]

"Don't Open 'Till Doomsday..."

[beyond the sea]

You like jalepenos and HOT too? I have trouble finding jalepenos here that aren't sort of sweet, so I load up on the HOT sauce. I make a huge tub of diced onions, jalepenos, tomatoes and cilantro once a week and put the mixture on almost everything I eat.

I'm not kidding .......... I make everything I eat as hot as I can. I love to make my salsa hot as can be.

Funny story......... my wife and I have a friend who moved to San Antonio, Texas back around 1978. He fell right into the "culture" very quickly. He became a Texan real quickly. After about two years he came back to visit. He stayed with us for a few days. The first night we decided to make some really great spaghetti. Now..... he being a Texan and haranguing us about all the hot Mexican food down there, we decided to pull a trick on him.

We prepared the dinner secretly in the kitchen, but added a ton of hot elements to his plate of spaghetti. We began dinner, my wife and I dug into out spaghetti like nothing was wrong, and our buddy started in on his. He started chewing the first mouthful and the look on his face was priceless. He started looking over at us wondering why we weren't alarmed at the "heat". Thank God for the cold water at the table. I'll never forget that evening.

;-)

[onyx]

LOL! Excellent! I'm sure y'all laughed about it together.

[beyond the sea]

It was so funny because he is a big bustling guy, about six foot four, 260 pounds. He had become so endeared to Texas/Mexican culture and the hot food.

I can even remember how nicely we set the table that night....... pulled out my mother's favorite flatware and Thai bronzeware that night. It was beautiful and his reaction was the greatest. It did, however, take him a while later that night before he laughed about it.

****

By the way...... have we blown up yet?

[onyx]

There's nothing quite like a beautifully set table.

We had a little lightning here --- but I doubt it's allah's doing.

[60Gunner]

Well, Seattle's still here.

[beyond the sea]

Steeler fan here.

(just kidding)

[Lazamataz]

I suck.

[Billthedrill]

Yeh, well, I wasn't so sure a minute ago. I saw a zombie mutant shambling by, but it turned out to be my reflection in the mirror. Must. Have. Coffee...