Posted on 08/15/2006 6:24:16 AM PDT by steve-b
For Cindy Nooney's 3-year-old twin boys, playing with the Thomas the Train set at their local bookstore in Southern California is a major thrill. Jack and Sam push Thomas, Arthur and friends down the track, they run around the table, jump up and down — and, of course, they squeeeaal.
Nooney expects as much in the children's section of the store. But on a recent afternoon, she was surprised by an employee who confronted her, calling her darling Jack a tyrant.
"He was a little loud but this is a children's section," says Nooney. "They run a noisy, cavernous bookstore but they don’t want kids to make any noise? It just seems ridiculous and leads me to believe that they don't want kids, they want silent kids."
The bookstore is not the only place that likes quiet, controlled children — and isn't afraid to say so. Across the nation, there are signs of a low-burning uprising against children supposedly behaving badly in public.
Eateries from California to Massachusetts have posted signs on doors and menus saying "We love children, especially when they are tucked in chairs and well behaved" or "Kids must use indoor voices." In North Carolina an online petition was started last year to establish child-free restaurants — the petition loosely compared dining with children to dining with cigarette smoke....
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
Yup - they've had some problems this year with anti-hetero stuff going on in P-town.
Mine are now 9 and 13. They are right in the middle of the squabble about everything power struggle stage. Sometimes I walk in to see what they are fussing about, stand there, and wonder who the bright person was that left me in charge! Oh wait, it was me!
In the meantime, I send them over to other peoples houses and I hear back about how polite and helpful and wonderful they are.
Bwahahaha. Like I said, we're working on it. This challenge is taking a significant investment of mom and dad's emotional resources. ; D.
Spock started it even earlier than that.
100% correct.
Well said. I agree. When I see parents trying, all I think is "better you than me." hee hee.
So true. When my two nephews were small, they ran roughshod over their mother who just screamed alot but never followed through. When they came over to my house, they did exactly what they were told, because they got one chance and that was it. No foolin' around. I love boys and don't mind boys being boys, but I do have rules.
That means you are doing a good job. Trust me. Mine is 29 now and when I used to hear other adults talk about how polite and stuff he was, I couldn't believe it was the same child.
> think about all the poor people that
> were subjected to your child's screaming.
Oh, don't worry! I was thinking about them non-stop. I was so embarassed I could have died! But that didn't make any difference to Ben's screaming. Re ears, I tried all the tricks for that. (I'm a pilot and we fly with the kids often, so I'm aware of pressure issues.) I think it was more to do with his age and stage than anything else.
You are so right, but something does occur when "nice" things are used.
When my kids were little, we would have friends or relatives visit with rowdy little ones, including boys. I would pull out the china tea set and invite them to a tea party. While I was setting the tablecloth out, the parents would warn against it. "Oh, they will break it, they will spill".
I just ignored them, put out little delicate cookies, then left the kids alone. Sure enough, the kids would sit down and act like proper English ladies and gents. The parents would be open-jawed at the "Thank you"'s, "Please", , and so on. Kids usually behave to the level of your expectations.
There is nothing wrong with people expecting parents to control their children.
THANK YOU!
I LOATHE Spock.
I am absolutely, possitively convinced that the downturn of our society is HIS fault. Check out the original date and the popularity of his dreaded "guide" and the dates of hippie-dom.
Bless your heart. All I have to say is I've often calmed other people's kids down by doing goofy things that kept them entertained; mainly out of sympathy to the parents who I could see were at wits' end.
> I stood up (sorta) and turned around (sorta). Very
> politely, with my best Texas manners, I said to
> the brat's mother, "You have a choice, ma'am. You
> can stop your child kicking my seat, or I will stop
> your child kicking my seat."
Very clever. Would it have hurt to omit the threat?
Perhaps we're splitting hairs, but I think it's the adult's responsibility not to take the children to places where behavior you don't know they can control would be inappropriate. There are times when you have little choice, such as on an airplane when traveling, but other than that, it's your job as a parent to limit their restaurant dining to places where their behavior doesn't offend a reasonable patron. Does that limit your choice? You bet. You start slow with kids, working on manners at home and a progressively nicer places. The earliest dining out experiences for the kids were fast food,family style places, and pizzerias. A bit wild at first, but by the time our kids were 6 or 7 we could take them to most restaurants, and by the time the youngest was 9, I could take them to Chez Pannise in Berkeley and have both the maitre'd (who was a little skeptical when we walked in) and other dinners go out of their way to compliment the kids and me. It's self-reinforcing, but imagine how good a kid feels after an amazing (if a little exotic for a kid) meal at a very "fancy" place when the owner and the chef come to the table and tell them they're welcome back any time. After that, it we could take them anywhere - the best restaurants in New York and Europe - no problem.
Couldn't agree with you more.
Just FYI...Cindy Nooney is Cynthia House Nooney, a free-lance writer.
Good luck with that, there . . . I'm afraid you're tilting at windmills. :)
My scale of 'nice'
Fast Food - no issue (usually a eat in car meal)
Family resturant - TGIF, Applebee's, Friendly's
Inbetween - Lone Star, Olive Garden
Nice - 4-5 Star, Candles on tables, hush hush, romantic (date type) - These are avoided except on the rare occassion.
Eating out has become more of a vacation thing for the most part.
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