Replies

"Frankly, as long as you've fed them, sheltered them and told them they are loved, children will be fine" make my blood run cold. Surely having children is about more than feeding them and putting a roof over their heads?

You know, I was reading some of the commentary at the articles origin and looked at this line again. It reminded me of one of the last arguments I had with my mom. We have no contact for other reasons (a lot to do with my children's physical and emotional safety). But, I remember my mother being miserable when I was a kid. She was more interested in her soaps, than in me. I admit I will take "me time", but I am around my children a lot.

But that line reminded of my mom telling me what a wonderful mother she was. After years of holding my tongue I told her my thoughts. She went on about, "Didn't I do enough for you? You had shelter. You had clothes. You had food." Yes, she has told me she loves me and needs me. Usually when she wants something.

Being there emotionally counts for so much more in the long run.

My dear Gypsy, Let me try this.. I am just a guy that has been around for a long time, and I really know better than to give anyone advice about their relationships, but I have had a life filled with wonderful women, including 3 daughter, and a couple of wives, and a mother of course.. That out of the way, I have seen the frequent and uniquely painful problems between mothers and daughters..

Like most problems, the observer sometimes sees so much more than the participants, and this may be the most problematic undercurrent that I've observed, a great deal of special attention from dad.. For some reason, an unspoken rivalry develops between mom and daughter that is palpable, and painfully real. It's a conflict that develops almost from birth, a kind of, can I say jealousy, one that is usually celebrated, and exacerbated by the receiving dad.. It starts as a cute, "daddy's girl" thing, just a joke that festers into something more somewhere along the way..

It may have some components that women understand more than a guy does, but I have witnessed it more than I like, and have been disappointed by the outcome in my own life.. I have never seen anything like it between mom and son, or son and dad, or even son and sister.. That said I don't think you can say it has anything to do with being tied down because of the new offspring, or that two women can share a man, because it appears to be only one daughter, not girls in general.. I offer no solutions only observations I may have had a unique experience, so take it with a grain of salt.. Wow, I have always wanted to get that off my chest.. I feel better, I hope it can help.. :)