Posted on 07/15/2006 4:49:25 PM PDT by Pokey78
NEWLYWEDS in America are “meshing” their names in an attempt to banish the sexism that comes when a woman takes her husband’s surname. Much as the tabloid newspapers have christened film stars Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes “Tomkat”, couples are opting to mix and match elements of their names as a sign of togetherness.
Gary Ruderman, 43, a playwright and architect, got married last year to Jodi Wilgoren, a writer for The New York Times. The couple now go by the name of Rudoren. Ruderman’s wife-to-be first raised the subject, saying that she would love to share his name but on an egalitarian basis.
“I have a lot of respect for Jodi so I considered it,” he said. “Some clients couldn’t wrap their heads around it, but very few people I talked to said, ‘Oh that’s stupid’.”
One friend teased Ruderman that “married life has taken the ‘man’ out of you” but even his parents came around to the idea. “They felt it was a little bit unusual, but I think they were just happy that, at 42, I was getting married,” he said. “My mother has taken to introducing me as her son Gary Rudoren.”
Jodi Rudoren, 35, ruled out hyphenation when her nephew pointed out that “our name wouldn’t fit on the back of a sports shirt”.
One name-meshing pioneer is Antonio Villaraigosa, the mayor of Los Angeles, who combined his name of Villar with his wife’s name of Raigosa in 1988.
“I was planning to take his name,” his wife Corina recalled. “But he said, ‘Really? But Raigosa is your name’.
“He said, ‘I’ve been thinking about it and why don’t we combine our names to make one name? If you are willing to take my name, I should be willing to take yours’.”
Villaraigosa recalled that “guys made fun of me” but the voters of Los Angeles have long since forgotten it.
The feminist custom of retaining one’s maiden name is going out of fashion. According to Claudia Goldin, an economics professor at Harvard University, the number of college-educated women in Massachusetts who kept their original name at marriage dropped from 23% in 1990 to 17% in 2000.
“It’s gone the same way as feminism,” Goldin said. “There has been a shift even among liberals towards more family-oriented values.”
Those who begin by hyphenating their surnames often give up, Goldin added: “They have these long names and then they have problems with the school district or the plumber. It gets too hard.”
I only see the one metrosexual. The other one is an ugly fat broad , I think.
lol!
Funny...I remember him as the Angel trying to show Al Bundy what his life would have been like without marriage on Married with Children.
Depends on the college! In the case of this statistic, the "drop" is a positive thing. Almost 25% were doing the hybrid names in 1990. That is down to under 20%
Its my belief that women keep their same name because they really dont expect to be married that long. There is no commitment. Personally I wouldnt marry a woman who didnt want to use my last name, but maybe thats just the redneck in me.
I was gearing more towards the playwrite
Meshing. Hmmm. When I hear 'TomKat' I think Top Gun...
And Gary has no balls whatsoever. The man's name does NOT change.
And of course now Villaraigosa is known as Mayor Reconquista - a more appropriate name for the guy who clearly aims to be a Hispanic governor or president. Lord help us if he ever does!
Years from now, genealogists trying to trace their families are going to hate these yuppie idiots.
I liked taking my husband's last name. That said, now that we're divorced I like having my old one back too. ;-) But I would always take my husband's last name as my own and not hyphenate or combine them.
I will never understand Europe's fascination with us. Like they don't have any problems to tend to.
A bunch of wimpy Metrosexuals
"There is nothing wrong with a woman taking the husband's last name after marriage. I detest hyphenated names."
Nor is there anything wrong with a woman retaining her maiden name after marriage. My wife still uses her maiden name. She's a professional in a field where one's name is closely linked to one's reputation.
That was her name before she married me. Why should she change it? Lots of women retain their maiden name. But, then, we've only been married for 15 years, so who knows, eh?
Oh cool, so the wife and I can be known as the Lloydicks or the Kissoyds ... lovely. The kids will be happy to hear this!
"The spanish have a culture of tagging on a name. It had nothing to do with feminism, but was simply a way to honor the other family name. Then children, when they marry drop one name and pick up another."
I believe it is the same in the Philippines (due to the Spanish influence.) The wife takes the husband's surname, but their children adopt the mother's maiden name as their middle name.
We've heard of "Billary" years ago
Most people try to be polite so of course they would not say that.
They probably were thinking it though.
From Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet:
JULIET:
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
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