Posted on 07/10/2006 1:47:07 PM PDT by Ben Mugged
Paige White was surprised when her parents figured out soon after she started driving last year that she'd gone 9 miles to a party, not 4 miles to the friend's house she'd told them she was visiting. It seemed to her almost as if her car was bugged.
It was.
Paige's parents had installed a device in their daughter's SUV that can tell them not only how far she's driven, but how fast and whether she's made any sudden stops or hard turns.
"I was kind of mad because I felt it was an invasion of my privacy," said the Los Gatos resident, now 17.
Parents, some of whom feel outmatched by their offspring in this tech-savvy world, are using a growing number of gadgets, software and specially equipped cell phones to track kids' driving, read their instant messages and pinpoint where they're hanging out.
~snip~But cyber-snooping is simply a new tool, experts say. It doesn't resolve the dilemma parents have grappled with for generations: How much free rein do you give children so they can learn the lessons they need to grow up and be independent?
~snip~
Proponents of the new technology say it can help protect kids -- whether from predators lurking online or their own bad driving. But while there may be gains, monitoring also can take a toll.
"The bottom line is, surveillance will cut down somewhat on potential risk behavior kids will engage in, but it is at a cost," Wolf said. "To the extent that you do surveillance, you are potentially interfering with your kids developing responsibility for their own lives."
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
Depends on the state. In general, taping your own kids is under the doctrine of implied consent. The other party to the conversation could be a problem in a state that requires consent. In any case, we're talking a misdemeanor.
We have an 18 year old, and he's never given us any reason not to trust him. You raise them to be responsible, so you have to give them opportunities to demonstrate that they are responsible. (Obviously the kid in this article wasn't, so if a parent has reason to doubt their kid, I guess it's okay to use the device.)
We know our son's friends, we made our house the "hangout" years ago. Pool table, video games, we threw all night LAN parties and other get togethers on a regular basis. We even through parties for the friends and their parents, so we could get to know the parents (I was always surprised the kids were willing to come to a part with their parents, but they did.) Hubby takes our son and his friend's out on the boat on fishing trips, and I always make sure we have "teenage food" on hand, i.e. junk food.
Anyhoo, I think you can give your child incremental limits, as they start to drive, and as they live up to your expectations, and obey your rules, your trust of them grows and the limits decrease.
This device seems a little "over the top" in the area of control to me. Just because some place is 4 miles away doesn't necessarily mean you're going to drive only 4 miles to get there. What if you need gas, or a traffic jam, etc, and you take a detour.
If somebody really doesn't trust their kid there's a lot easier way to monitor their whereabouts. Just give them a cell phone with a camera. If they say they're going to Starbucks, call them and ask them to snap a photo of their surroundings and send it to you.
We still insist on knowing where our 18 is planning on going, calling us if his plans might change, and him letting us know when he'll be coming in (after all he does live in our home) but relying on a high tech device to discover if my kid is being responsible or not, we're not going there, as long as he doesn't give us a reason not to trust him.
Oh, like your Senator and his clan does?
Again, you confuse a legitimate use of surveillance on a minor child by his parents (legally responsible for that child, and also the owner of the vehicle) to one where the state uses to abuse and oppress the vast majority of society. They aren't the same. You need to understand the difference.
If this would have been an article of teens run amok because parents can't control them and don't know what their kids are up to, many of you against this would be calling for child monitoring and sterilization of the parents. I've seen it in other posts here on deadbeat parents. If you're a parent and disconnected from your kid, you suck. If you try to monitor what your kid is up to using the latest technology, you suck too.
There is nothing 'unfair' about this. The kid is lying to the parents' face.
Agreed, my wife and I are perfect examples of your comment. My wife was tightly controlled at home, and consequently went nuts her during her 1st year of college away from home. I won't go into details, however, think of everything you can imagine, and you won't be far off.
OTH, I was allowed to have enough rope to hang myself with. Guess what? I never did.
So which parenting styles do we have? Unfortunately, my wife is STILL on board with the Iron fist approach, while I have adopted the rope approach.
With my kids the rope approach works better, and has led to greater trust. They'll tell me stuff they'd never tell Mom about.
As long as the parents are legally and fiscally responsible for the children, then the children have no right to privacy.
Once you pay your own way and make your own life, you can have all the privacy you can handle.
Our daughter figured out how to beat that. She came up with the bright idea of storing pictures in her camera phone of various places she frequents, so she'd always have one ready to send.
I wasn't about to fall for that one. I usually have her call from a landline when she gets to where she's going, not her cell phone.
Dude, you haven't been watching that tv show, "Sweet Sixteen" where every little spoilt rich 15 or 16 year old MUST have a half million dollar birthday party and sweet talk daddy into getting them one or two cars (but only if the car matches their sunglasses).
You have no right of privacy from your parents. They have the right to check up on everything you say and do. So behave like it. Especially when it seems they have a good justification for doing so, given that you lied to them.
Ummm, American freedom is not freedom to do whatever the hell you want to. We have to learn how to control ourselves. There are plenty of things you don't have a right to do. But if you're smart enough, you are able to control yourself. And I am sure there are a few things you'd like to do that you'd do if you thought you could get away with it, but the fear of being caught and the consequences make it not worth it to you.
How is letting teens continue to lie to their parents (aka their authority figures) a good thing to you?
Doesn't the Coast Guard require the registration numbers to put on the side of the bow, not on a plate on the very front?
No worries here.
Well, in this case, it does seem that the daughter lied. I'm not sure I'd blow the surveillance over going to a party versus a friend's house. Did the daughter come home impaired? Were these kids she absolutely was not supposed to be around?
I expect that my children (boys, 14 and 8) will try to lie about stuff. I have explained to the oldest that even if he has screwed up and ended in a place he should not be, he can ALWAYS ask for our help. There may or may not be consequences, depending upon the lesson involved. For example, if he drove with a friend to a party where there was drinking (not allowed) and the friend got drunk and drove them home, my son would be grounded forever. If he called us to pick him up, there probably wouldn't be a consequence.
I will want to know if my teenaged driver is driving at high speeds. There just aren't enough adults around here willing to come and tell me that my son is driving like a maniac.
We never tried the method, but that wouldn't work for him because his phone pictures have a time signature at the bottom of the screen.
As long as the parents can be held legally responsible for the actions of their offspring, they should be able to monitor their actions as closely as they want. I'm all for putting those breathalizer thingies in the car so the kid can't start it up if they've been drinking.
Aha! Clever.
One thing technology has done for us is that we now have an array of "things" to deprive her of if she misbehaves. In my day, it was "go to your room!" Now if she goes to her room she still has all her "stuff".
There are many pro Big Brother types here who believe in the government running peoples' live.
Monitoring you child like this is the same as saying to them:
I am a lazy parent.
I do not trust you to tell the truth because you are an irresponsible, unaccountable little creature, incapable of making right decisions and for your actions and you cannot tell the truth..
And I do not trust you to tell the truth.
When you are not in the car, you will wear a convict's dog collar so we can track you on foot, because you are a sneaky little bastard who cannot tell the truth.
Bingo! I was alittle more verbose in my post; and am waiting with Nomex and Kevlar on.
That's a very good point. We use what we find out (from various sources) to bring things up in casual conversation rather than confronting directly, or to "sabotage" behind the scenes any unwise action she's planning to take while trying to gently steer her in a more productive direction.
There may come a day when something happens that is so serious that we end up blowing our cover, but so far, so good.
You kidding me?
I grew up before cell phones. My parents didn't have a clue where I was, and let me tell you, it's a shame they didn't. Teens NEED supervision. They aren't quite adults yet and any freedom can be fraught with temptation.
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