Well, in this case, it does seem that the daughter lied. I'm not sure I'd blow the surveillance over going to a party versus a friend's house. Did the daughter come home impaired? Were these kids she absolutely was not supposed to be around?
I expect that my children (boys, 14 and 8) will try to lie about stuff. I have explained to the oldest that even if he has screwed up and ended in a place he should not be, he can ALWAYS ask for our help. There may or may not be consequences, depending upon the lesson involved. For example, if he drove with a friend to a party where there was drinking (not allowed) and the friend got drunk and drove them home, my son would be grounded forever. If he called us to pick him up, there probably wouldn't be a consequence.
I will want to know if my teenaged driver is driving at high speeds. There just aren't enough adults around here willing to come and tell me that my son is driving like a maniac.
That's a very good point. We use what we find out (from various sources) to bring things up in casual conversation rather than confronting directly, or to "sabotage" behind the scenes any unwise action she's planning to take while trying to gently steer her in a more productive direction.
There may come a day when something happens that is so serious that we end up blowing our cover, but so far, so good.
Yeah, I'm not sure that's a good case for revealing sources and methods. Next time, she'll drive to the friend's house and cop a ride the rest of the way. There is the risk of an arms race, where the kids learn how not to get caught rather than the intended lesson.
These new tools are just that -- new tools. They don't change the basic job, and while they might make the job easier, they also raise new questions and introduce new complications.