Mark Steyn: Stars starving for attention

Orange County Register ^ | July 9, 2006 | Mark Steyn

[John Jorsett]

Very old Hollywood joke:

Starving beggar with tin cup: "I haven't eaten for three days."

Zsa Zsa Gabor: "Dahlink, I wish I had your will power."

Up-to-the-minute Hollywood joke, from Agence-France Presse:

"U.S. Stars Align In Anti-Iraq War Hunger Strike.

"Star Hollywood actor-activists including Sean Penn and Susan Sarandon and anti-war campaigners led by bereaved mother Cindy Sheehan plan to launch a hunger strike, demanding the immediate return of U.S. troops from Iraq.

"As Americans get set to fire up barbeques in patriotic celebration of U.S. Independence Day on July 4, anti-war protesters planned to savor a last meal outside the White House before embarking on a 'Troops Home Fast' at midnight…

"Penn, Sarandon, novelist Alice Walker and actor Danny Glover will join a 'rolling' fast, a relay in which 2,700 activists pledge to refuse food for at least 24 hours, and then hand over to a comrade."

So Sean Penn is starving himself to death, but just for a day? Brilliant! If Gandhi had been that smart, he'd still have a movie career. Willie Nelson and Michael Moore are also among those participating in the "rolling fast," which in Michael's case will involve going without the roll. Greater love hath no man than to lay down his lunch for his friends.

[unsycophant]

These kinds of stunts haven't worked in 20 or more years, but these people don't seem to realize how outdated they are.

[sine_nomine]

I have a new tagline.

[Jessica24]

"In the forthcoming James Bond movie, 007 is tossed into a tank of ravenous sharks, but they refuse to eat him and, in a savage indictment of Bush foreign policy, sip their mineral water in a desultory fashion for 20 minutes before calling for the check."

Bwahaha. Somewhere there's a producer frantically calling for a rewrite to work this into Casino Royale.

Seriously, just when I think celebrity activists can't get any funnier, in rolls the "rolling fast." I like the "gain weight gorge" idea myself. Because I doubt there's a single actor in Hollywood who cares about the Iraqi people more than fitting into their designer samples.

[Democratshavenobrains]

At least the Buddhist monks in Vietnam actually set themselves on fire. They didn't just light their left arm on fire one day and their right leg the next.

[NCSteve]

Yoko Ono has released a new all-star charity single of "Give Peas A Chance."

Bwah-hah-hah-hah!

[TheGeezer]

It just occurred to me that the war protesters of the 21st century are ineffective because they lack believability and humor. Having lived through one generation of hypocrisy, America now knows that the privileged and pampered ones who claim moral superiority are what they are: fakes. And, lacking the ability to see that, they lack humor. The result: self-parody. This is not profound, discovered by others years ago like the genius Steyn; but I have finally understood why libs will fail this time. They are blinded this time, America is not.

Thank heaven for the alternate media!

[Mr Rogers]

Another great line: "Imagine if the flailing neocon warmongers had to explain to the American people why we were now down to one Dixie Chick."

I cannot imagine anything more pathetic than a 'rolling fast'. It screams, "We care - just not very much!"

[Vince Ferrer]

Ice T has given up iced tea.

Another gem

[Mad_Tom_Rackham]

Michael Moore fasts for a week, twenty chickens and five cows live to fight another day.

[buccaneer81]

Michael Moore is getting set to add to his 300 pounds

Hah! I work with a couple of 300 pounders. Moore is closer to 400.

[Brian Allen]

<< It just occurred to me that the war protesters of the 21st century are ineffective because they lack believability and humor. >>

And, don't forget, although they're not light on craven cowardice, they lack the other component part of the very real motivation that drove earlier generations of "war protestors, many of them to Canada:"

The draft.

[Doctor Raoul]

Anyone have the author's email or contact info?

[alnick]

"In a first for the music industry, two feuding gangsta rappers died this morning before they could shoot each other. 2Frail 2Fire was felled by a massive heart attack as he attempted to lift his LadySmith 60LS. Ol' Cadaverous Bastard expired from malnutrition a few seconds later while enjoying a derogatory gloat about the ever-bonier butts of 2Frail 2Fire's ho's and bitches."

[A message]

Michael Moore are also among those participating in the "rolling fast," which in Michael's case will involve going without the roll. Greater love hath no man than to lay down his lunch for his friends.

That really did make me laugh out loud and put a smile on my face.

Steyn nails it again!!

[seasoned traditionalist]

"Greater love hath no man than to lay down his lunch for his friends."

Best--Steyn--One-liner--Ever.

That is great and I agree a classic. He had so many good ones and zingers, I laughed out loud while alone drinking my coffee early this morning.

Of course as much as I dislike The Snake, I kind of like this one:

"America's greatest living war hero and simultaneous anti-war hero, John Kerry, pledged his own passionate support for the crusade of his celebrity friends: "I ordered the banana cream pie before I sent it back."

[faq]

http://www.steynonline.com/

[aculeus]

Disgusted by the callousness of the Bush war machine, William Powell and Myrna Loy have decided to go without the olive in their fourth martini.

[sig226]

A rolling fast beats a rolling blackout.

A FLUSH beats them both. :)

[Joan912]

Brilliant.

[Paleo Conservative]

Where's Rosie O'Doughnut?