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Why he’s not the marrying type
MSN ^ | July 2, 1006 | Jim Sulski

Posted on 07/02/2006 4:22:03 AM PDT by libstripper

Brendan and Sharon had been dating since the late 1980s, when they met in college.

Every holiday, every birthday, every major event, Sharon was on pins and needles. Would Brendan finally pop the question, produce a ring and ask her to marry him? And every holiday, every birthday, every major event, he didn’t.

Friends began to scoff at her and her family reminded her that her biological clock was clicking away.

On a cold winter morning, Sharon came to a harsh but honest realization. Brendan just wasn’t the marrying kind. She got the courage to ask him why. “It turns out he still had deep emotional scars from his parents’ divorce when he was a child,” she says. “He felt that marriage was too risky, too painful—so why bother?”

(Excerpt) Read more at msn.match.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: 2ndtimearound; divorce; marriage
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To: cincinnati65
Your experience and mine match up. My parents went through a years-long, "scorched Earth" divorce. (I was 14 when it started, and 22 when it was finalized.) My brother and I were both the weapons used and received the fallout from their physical, emotional and verbal scuffles.

The other thing it taught me? Money just isn't that important. It's certainly not worth fighting over, and destroying lives over.

21 posted on 07/02/2006 5:53:21 AM PDT by Malacoda (The Posting Police need an enema.)
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To: dawn53

>But be honest up front with the women one dates, so they don't hold on to the hope they'll someday get married.<

A lot of men need to stick with other men. I had to listen to the whinings of a guy at work for 6 years as he complained about how stupid his girlfriend was [no argument there]--this, after she quit her job in another city, and moved a few hundred miles to move in with him with his blessing. Week after week he moaned about her shoes, her Billy Bass, her decorating ideas, the very same things--to a captive audience around him. I had no escape from this blather. I wanted to tell him to either kick her out or get a perfect roomate--another man.


22 posted on 07/02/2006 6:02:37 AM PDT by RSteyn
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To: libstripper

Short version: Liberal men don't want to marry.


23 posted on 07/02/2006 6:04:36 AM PDT by pabianice
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To: The Brush

Brush, I'm sorry for your pain, but that joke about your ex was hysterical. You better copyright it quick!


24 posted on 07/02/2006 6:05:36 AM PDT by exit82 (If Democrats can lead, then I'm Chuck Norris.)
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To: libstripper

They aren't the marrying kind because they can get "it" for free. If women don't value themselves, why should the men in their lives?


25 posted on 07/02/2006 6:06:39 AM PDT by timsbella (Mark Steyn for Prime Minister of Canada!)
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To: Clioman
“It turns out he still had deep emotional scars from his parents’ divorce when he was a child,” "

And it took her how many years to finally figure this out?

After more than a decade of dating..

He probably had a stable of fillies that he services. This woman was a dope.

26 posted on 07/02/2006 6:09:40 AM PDT by csvset ("It was like the hand of G_d slapping down and smashing everything." ~ JDAM strikes Taliban)
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To: SauronOfMordor
EXACTLY.

My daddy warned me against "shacking up" when I was a teenager. His words: "Why would anybody buy the cow when he's getting the milk for free?"

Too many foolish women have bought into this notion of "sex without consequences." It has lots of consequences - you get things you don't want (STDs, babies with no daddies) and you don't get things you do want (commitment, marriage, legitimate children).

27 posted on 07/02/2006 6:12:41 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: libstripper

"Sharon suggested counseling and even a trial period of living together, but Brendan wouldn’t budge. After more than a decade of dating, Sharon broke it off with Brendan. “I realized he truly wasn’t the marrying type and that wasn't going to change,” she says. “I just wish I’d known sooner.”

"In addition to coming from divorced parents, there are others reasons why some guys aren’t cut out for marriage.....blah, blah , blah...."

Some men don't trust women who's sole agenda is to be married.
Brendan's instincts proved 100% accurate.


28 posted on 07/02/2006 6:18:21 AM PDT by TET1968 (SI MINOR PLUS EST ERGO NIHIL SUNT OMNIA)
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To: AnAmericanMother

Well, people's mileage may vary. I gave free milk (such a lovely metaphor), then we lived together for about a year, and this year we'll celebrate (and I do mean celebrate! - not merely observe) our twentieth wedding anniversary.

But yes, the woman in this article who "dated" for a decade or more.... that would never have happened to me.


29 posted on 07/02/2006 6:22:41 AM PDT by linda_22003
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To: The Brush
You wanna know why divorce is so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

There's truth in comedy.
30 posted on 07/02/2006 6:23:07 AM PDT by MaryFromMichigan
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To: The Brush

Someday some idiot will write a story about how your dog away from home because at the age of 6 you saw your grandmother naked in a dark hallway.


31 posted on 07/02/2006 6:26:44 AM PDT by TET1968 (SI MINOR PLUS EST ERGO NIHIL SUNT OMNIA)
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To: Tom Bombadil

In the words of the immortal Groucho Marx "Integrity is everything. When you can fake that, you've got it made."


32 posted on 07/02/2006 6:34:43 AM PDT by Hardastarboard (Why isn't there an "NRA" for the rest of my rights?)
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To: libstripper

I bet he wasn't too "emotionally scarred" for a sexual relationship. Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free?


33 posted on 07/02/2006 6:39:05 AM PDT by Callahan
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To: linda_22003
We're talking about increasing the odds of success here, not individual cases. If a man is honorable, decent, and loves you, it doesn't make any difference.

But if a man turns out to be less than honorable, that free milk can turn out to be mighty expensive.

34 posted on 07/02/2006 6:41:23 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: Callahan

Took the words right out of my daddy's mouth (see above). < g >


35 posted on 07/02/2006 6:41:55 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: AnAmericanMother

We definitely agree on that. I definitely got one of the good guys. More importantly, my parents taught me how to identify the good guys, something this chick's parents apparently neglected to do.


36 posted on 07/02/2006 6:43:28 AM PDT by linda_22003
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To: libstripper

bump


37 posted on 07/02/2006 6:50:19 AM PDT by VOA
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To: Graybeard58
Some people just know what it takes to make a successful marriage.

I am not talking about your mother and her successful marriages, however, it is one thing to be in a long term marriage and another for it to be "successful."

We've all seen marriages that were long-term and so pathetic that it's a wonder either party survived. We've all seen women with 3 or 4 children who have little choice but to put up with a jerk.

We've all seen couples who deserve what they got!

38 posted on 07/02/2006 6:50:52 AM PDT by lonestar (Me, too--Weinie)
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To: AnAmericanMother
My daddy warned me against "shacking up" when I was a teenager. His words: "Why would anybody buy the cow when he's getting the milk for free?"

Also, from the man's point of view, being unmarried means that she stays on her best behavior because he's free to walk out

39 posted on 07/02/2006 7:18:16 AM PDT by SauronOfMordor (A planned society is most appealing to those with the arrogance to think they will be the planners)
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To: Callahan; AnAmericanMother
"Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free?"

Or from the woman's point of view: "Why buy the hog just to get a little sausage?"

40 posted on 07/02/2006 7:18:53 AM PDT by GBA
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