Why I Love Australia (Krauthammer)

Washington Post ^ | June 23, 2006 | Charles Krauthammer

[West Coast Conservative]

In the Australian House of Representatives last month, opposition member Julia Gillard interrupted a speech by the minister of health thusly: "I move that that sniveling grub over there be not further heard."

For that, the good woman was ordered removed from the House, if only for a day. She might have escaped that little time-out if she had responded to the speaker's demand for an apology with something other than "If I have offended grubs, I withdraw unconditionally."

God, I love Australia. Where else do you have a shadow health minister with such, er, starch? Of course I'm prejudiced, having married an Australian, but how not to like a country, in this age of sniveling grubs worldwide, whose treasurer suggests to any person who "wants to live under sharia law" to try Saudi Arabia and Iran, "but not Australia." He was elaborating on an earlier suggestion that "people who . . . don't want to live by Australian values and understand them, well then they can basically clear off." Contrast this with Canada, historically and culturally Australia's commonwealth twin, where last year Ontario actually gave serious consideration to allowing its Muslims to live under sharia.

Such things don't happen in Australia. This is a place where, when the remains of a fallen soldier are accidentally switched with those of a Bosnian, the enraged widow picks up the phone late at night, calls the prime minister at home in bed and delivers a furious, unedited rant -- which he publicly and graciously accepts as fully deserved. Where Americans today sue, Australians slash and skewer.

For Americans, Australia engenders nostalgia for our own past, which we gauzily remember as infused with John Wayne plain-spokenness and vigor.

[AntiKev]

Hey...look, just cause we're both pilots doesn't mean that you can do that to me this early in the morning. Damn. I mean...I have to go to work here.

[coconutt2000]

Yes, but the Korean girls I've known are a lot less funny when they're angry. They kick, bite, and make you buy them overpriced drinks.

[mozarky2]

My 16-yo son has been in Australia for two weeks. He's currently in Mungalli Falls.

[spatso]

"Canada however is doing somewhat better. Its "fatherless" childhood created some gender identity issues."

That is a clever piece of writing. I'm assuming your sensitivity to Canadian gender identity issues follows the thinking of Guy Corneau. Corneau, a Montreal psychologist, explains in his book "Absent Fathers, Lost Sons" that the absence of a meaningful father relationship creates a psychological wound and the longing for male companionship and comfort. Your thesis on France being the absent male father of Canada would certainly explain Canada's twist towards a passive role in international affairs and an incredibly high tolerance for the gay agenda. Well done, but I don't think you should ping the Canadian Freepers, they are very touchy about their masculinity.

[coconutt2000]

:-) Thanks, but I can't claim any greater credit for being well read on issues of psychology. I had enough psychology in high school and college to leave me with a few keywords, such as "gender", "identity", and "crisis" - which happen to string together nicely.

If you want to read something funnier, look through my forum posts for my fictional conversation between two terrorists, Achmed and Khalid as they hide in Baghdad from the Americans. Recently posted.

[kanawa]

but I don't think you should ping the Canadian Freepers

Take your own advice, spatso.

[RightFighter]

Another view of the Foster's girls' armbands:

[mo]

I have been priveleged to have the acquaintaince of several Aussies and Kiwis(New Zealand) over the years. Their directness, openness and plain speaking remind me of an America I used to know from my youth....before tort attorneys and PC thought created the metrosexual castrati and robbed us of our heritage.

[RightFighter]

Yet another shot of the Foster's armband:

[fanfan]

Good post Coconutt.

Us English Canadians got stuck with these French speaking half-siblings, who have been trying to take our country down since the mid-60's, and almost succeeded under Trudeau, Chretien, and Martin, all from Quebec.

[spatso]

"Take your own advice, spatso."

Sorry, I just could not resist. I just got excited to realize that I was not the only one who thought Canadians were showing vulnerability in the exposure of their softer side.

[driftdiver]

"Yes, but the Korean girls I've known are a lot less funny when they're angry. They kick, bite, and make you buy them overpriced drinks."

So stay out of the "american" style clubs. They stil get angry but no kicking, biting, or drinks.

[Egon]

Ping to post 12

[kanawa]

I just got excited to realize that I was not the only one who thought Canadians were showing vulnerability in the exposure of their softer side.

How? By rejecting the use of sharia law even if it did not conflict with Canadian law.

Sorry, I just could not resist.

Could not resist making the insinuation that Canada is not a real ally.
Not being able to resist is a mark of immaturity.
Until you grow up please fo&kma and don't ping me to your bs.

[bmwcyle]

They are brave people and we love them.

[grey_whiskers]

Tie me kangaroo down, sport...

Cheers!

[coconutt2000]

Oddly enough, they're called "Korean bars" in Hawaii. They're seedy, dirty, and boring.

Although I've known guys who loved them, and a few who married girls who worked at them.

I hear there is one in Honolulu somewhere that hires girls fresh out of high school. It is supposed to be very popular with Hawaii's large population of dirty old men.

[spatso]

"Could not resist making the insinuation that Canada is not a real ally."

I find it strange, a writer for the Washington Post with strong Canadian ties from his childhood makes the comparison between Australia and Canada. Another poster writes about Canada's "gender identity" issues and you get upset with me. Do you not think your anger is with yourself and your powerlessness to change your soft international image.

[CORedneck]

I have been pondering about moving myself & family to New Zealand. On plain talk, seems like these days it is unacceptable especially in the corporate world. Even working in DoD, the in-thing is diversity (code word for political correctness).

For 15 to 20 years, "PC" has run amok in this country and something needs to be done to end this B.S.

I have been priveleged to have the acquaintaince of several Aussies and Kiwis(New Zealand) over the years. Their directness, openness and plain speaking remind me of an America I used to know from my youth....before tort attorneys and PC thought created the metrosexual castrati and robbed us of our heritage.

[driftdiver]

"I hear there is one in Honolulu somewhere that hires girls fresh out of high school. It is supposed to be very popular with Hawaii's large population of dirty old men."

Unfortunately, those kinds of bars are everywhere. Its not limited to koreans, japanese, or hawaii. Some of them look nice but they tend to be as dirty and seedy as any other.

You can take the girl/guy outta the bar but you can't take the bar outta the girl/guy.