Posted on 05/26/2006 9:36:18 AM PDT by neverdem
Many abuse males: survey
Women are as violent as their male companions - and sometimes more so, according to a controversial study presented yesterday at a domestic violence conference in Manhattan. The survey of 13,600 college students came to the surprising conclusion that in the majority of abusive relationships, women are the perpetrators at least as often as they are the victims of violence.
About one-third of students in 32 countries said they assaulted their partner in a survey conducted by the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire.
In 69% of cases, both men and women were violent. But women were the sole perpetrators in 21% of cases, compared with about 10% of relationships in which men were the only batterers.
Author Murray Straus, who presented the study at the Trends in Intimate Violence Intervention conference at NYU, said there was "overwhelming evidence that women assault their partners at about the same rate as men."
"The idea of chivalry is alive. Men genuinely believe 'never hit a woman' - up to a certain point. So when she gets angry at him and slaps him, kicks him, throws something, most men don't retaliate. But if she keeps on doing that, then it moves into the both doing it," Straus said.
"So many women have told me, 'I knew I wouldn't hurt him.' It's for some women a quintessentially feminine thing to do, to slap the cad," he said.
Stony Brook University Prof. Ruth Brandwein criticized Straus' findings.
"If you have two people in a relationship and the guy is 6-foot-2 and weighs 230 pounds and the woman is 5-foot-4 and weighs 130 pounds, just because they're both hitting each other doesn't mean it's equally violent. Her hitting him may be seen as a joke to him and his hitting her may terrorize her," Brandwein said.
Rates of intimate partner violence are higher among college-age students than in older couples, Straus said. Another survey of 1,200 university students found that 41% of women and 31% of men have been hit by their partner, said Katie Gentile, director of the women's center at John Jay College of Criminal Justice.
But Gentile said men usually become violent as a way of controlling women, while women who are violent often become so to prevent the man from attacking first.
"I don't think [women] are getting more violent," she said. "I think women are admitting it more, probably. They might be fighting back more."
I just got far more specific. And don't even try to get a flame war started with the crap you've strewn so far on this thread.
Would you allow yourself to be abused by a woman?
You've got many ways to avoid this, pick the right woman, communicate effectively and with love, and when things get heated, be able to remain of clear thought.
Strength under control is gentleness, and it is possible to restrain without causing harm, but not if you are ham-handed or over emotional.
Flaming is for sissies. I can discuss.
You act like you can always see it coming well before it happens.
You've got many ways to avoid this, pick the right woman, communicate effectively and with love, and when things get heated, be able to remain of clear thought.
Easy enough to say until you've had a female rabid badger coming after you.
Strength under control is gentleness, and it is possible to restrain without causing harm, but not if you are ham-handed or over emotional.
Unless the woman in question has no desire to be restained and can whup a lot of men if she so desired.
Oh, yeah, sure, you are so intent on discussion with how you entered this thread.
"pick the right woman" - Exactly. My wife and I have been together since our freshman year of college, almost 16 years now and we'd NEVER consider hitting each other.
Of course, some were severely abused when they were younger and you don't realize how bad their problems are.
It's easy to talk in generalities. But a lot of men have to deal with specifics. As you can see by the dumbass remark by the professor above, it's just a joke when a woman hits a man. I would love to introduce the good professor to a few women I've known, let them take a shot at him, and see if he thinks it's still funny.
I have noticed that it is acceptable, reasoned, funny and justified when movies show women pinching, hitting, kicking or otherwise hurting men. If the privates or family jewels come into play, it's even better.
I think it's a big mistake to portray this type of activity as acceptable.
I'm not saying that there aren't rabid, exception to the general rule type 'ladies' out there, but this article said 21%. I'm stating my own opinion here, but I just don't think the number of powerful, rabid women can be that high, which leads me to believe that some of these guys are choosing to take a passive role in their own abuse.
Now, I am in no way suggesting that they in turn attempt abuse as retailiation, but I would think they could/should be avoiding the situation. In the end though, to each their own I guess - I've seen plenty of disfunctional relationships.
Look dirtboy, I entered the thread with light hearted humor, sorry you took in the wrong way (see Ryan Seacrest and tranquilizer darts.)
Oh, I guess you can no longer see it.
Someone's had it pulled.
I had a female co-worker who used to raise her knuckle and sock me in the arm. She thought it was funny, and I'm sure she was just doing it to be friendly, one of the guys so to speak. It was very painful.
This went on for about a year, while I asked her to please stop doing it. I explained that it hurt.
Finally one day I deliberatly raised my knuckle and returned the favor. I tried to do it moderately, which is not what she had done.
She never did it again.
Women get the idea that they can't hurt men. Bull --it.
As you can see in the article, and as your own initial response indicated as well, lots of folks make it seem like it's a joke. It's not, and the situation is never as simple as anyone who has never experienced it makes it out to be. Plenty of men have gone to jail because when they restrained the woman, they bruised her arms and that is what the cops saw when the arrived. Quite frankly, the best advise for the man is to skedaddle if things get out of control and she starts hitting or throwing things, and never accept someone hitting you in a relationship. If the person cannot do that, either call the cops or get out of the relationship. Trying to restrain someone often just escalates the violence, because if they are angry enough to hit, they are already out of control and have no desire to be controlled in any manner until they have calmed down.
Har. Har. Har. That was really funny.
And in this day and age, that could get you fired. Or worse.
In this we can agree - male or female - accept no physical abuse. And if it occurs, the relationship needs to end barring colossal changes.
We do disagree that restraint properly applied, can be a last ditch option. (Wild children, enraged women, mentally unstable people)
I'm curious - have you ever had to restrain your spouse or girlfriend?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.