Posted on 05/23/2006 11:37:10 PM PDT by freepatriot32
WASHINGTON (AFP) - Months beyond what was to be a three-week deathwatch, US humorist Art Buchwald is frustrated: rather than passing away quickly as his doctors predicted, he has to start shaving again, rewrite his will, and change his funeral plans. And get a new cellphone.
But Buchwald, the Washington Post columnist who was diagnosed with fatal kidney disease early this year, said Tuesday in the paper that his unexpectedly long-lived last weeks haven't been so bad -- his doctor has now prescribed a holiday to Martha's Vineyard, the Massachusetts island resort.
"I never realized dying was so much fun," he said.
Buchwald, 80, refused to take dialysis in February. His doctor then gave him three weeks to live without the treatment for kidney failure.
"I decided to move into a hospice and go quietly into the night," he said, announcing the decision in his regular Post column.
But it hasn't turned out exactly like that -- as his newest column in the Post attests. Four months on, "for reasons that even the doctors can't explain, my kidneys kept working."
After a 50 year career as one of the country's best-known humorists, people rushed to his hospice bedside to pay their last respects when his demise seemed imminent.
"The more publicity I got, the more attention my kidneys got, and instead of going quietly into the night, I was holding news conferences every day," he said.
"Everybody felt they should make the pilgrimage. They came with flowers, cheesecake and corned beef sandwiches."
Time went on and he still didn't die. "When people came to see me, it was as if they were visiting Lourdes. They came to be blessed and cured."
But now, he said, the sentiment has changed: people think his death has been a fraud.
"They want to know if the whole thing was a scam. They can't believe, after I said goodbye, I'm going to Martha's Vineyard instead of Paradise."
Buchwald said dying has had its high spots. Recognizing his 14 years writing in Paris, the French rushed to award him the literary equivalent of their Legion of Honor.
And in April he was named "man of the year" by the National Hospice Association, he said.
Buchwald apparently has little idea how long he has to live, but he begged his readers to not feel duped about all the news of his impending departure.
"Never trust your kidneys," he instructed.
I remember posting a thread quite soem time back now of his being close to the end.
Art, what a kidder and a fighter.
Here's to a long bonus run.
Remember Joltin' Joe DiMaggio? He pulled out of a coma they said he would never come out of and lived for something like 2-3 more months - even got to see the '98 Yanks win the Series...said they were the equal of any team he ever played on....
Smoking pot and drinking neat single malt whiskey will kill you too. I'm just trying to ascertain a quantifiable amount of whiskey. Too much work here for one man.
Well if you ever need any help with that let me know i'm always willing to help out a freeper in need :-)
I have fought with the issue raised in your tagline many times. The GOP does not have a perfect record here.
Thank you freepatriot32.
That's an inspiring story.
I bet your grandfather was quite a guy.
Grandpa said: "I'm 92 years old, I may die a few months earlier but I WILL enjoy myself!"
He's 98, and doing great. What an idiot of a Doctor to even suggest such a thing to a man who had outlived the average life expectancy by 20 years...ZERO common sense.
Hear Hear!!!
Way to go Art! Keep on hangin' in there!
Art must really want to die, if he's going to Martha's Vineyard. What's he gonna do? Call Teddy's Classic Olds Taxi Service?
That's no way to go Art, unless you take the driver with you. :)
Art was one of the first columnists I started reading, some 30-somethin' somethin' years ago.
My 91 year old mother in law still complains that her 93 year old sister doesn't do enough to stimulate her mind.
”I have no idea where I’m going, but the real question is ......... what am I doing here in the first place.”
LOL..... he was one very, very funny guy.
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