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Mark Steyn: The Da Vinci Code: bad writing for Biblical illiterates
Maxleans ^ | 05/10/06 | Mark Steyn

Posted on 05/10/2006 8:05:29 AM PDT by Pokey78

As with other long-running franchises, Jesus has been reinvented with ever more bizarre storylines

It's a good rule in this line of work to respect a hit. But golly, The Da Vinci Code makes it hard. At the start of the book, Dan Brown pledges, "All descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents and secret rituals in this novel are accurate." It's everything else that's hokum, beginning with the title, whose false tinkle testifies to Brown's penchant for weirdly inauthentic historicity. Referring to "Leonardo da Vinci" as "da Vinci" is like listing Lawrence of Arabia in the phone book as "Of Arabia, Mr. L," or those computer-generated letters that write to the Duke of Wellington as "Dear Mr. Duke, you may already have won!"

So I didn't like the title and then I began reading the book. In the beginning was the word, and Mr. Brown's very first one seems to have gone missing:

"Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum's Grand Gallery."

And after that I found it hard to stagger on myself. Shouldn't it be "The renowned curator"? What happened to the definite article? Did Mr. Brown choose to leave it off in order to affect an urgent investigative journalistic style? No, it's just the way he writes. Here's the first sentence of Angels &Demons:

"Physicist Leonardo Vetra smelled burning flesh, and he knew it was his own."

The linguist Geoffrey Pullum -- or linguist Geoffrey Pullum, as novelist Dan Brown would say -- identifies this as the anarthrous occupational nominal premodifier, to which renowned novelist Dan Brown is unusually partial. In Deception Point, in what must count as a wild experiment in form for him, he holds off on the AONP until the second sentence:

"Death, in this forsaken place, could come in countless forms. Geologist Charles Brophy had endured the savage splendor of this terrain for years . . ."

Novelist Dan Brown staggered through the formulaic splendour of his opening sentence. I've discussed his anarthrous kickoff with a couple of novelists and they say things like, "It doesn't sound like a novel," and I usually reply that that's the point. If The Da Vinci Code were just a novel, it would just be crummy writing. But insofar as it evokes one of those interminable Newsweek background pieces reconstructing the John Kerry presidential campaign or some such, it bolsters the sleight of hand of the book: it rhythmically supports the impression that this is not a work of fiction, but a documentary unlocking of a two-millennia-old secret -- to wit, that Jesus married Mary Magdalene and sired a long line of descendants unto (anarthrous alert) police cryptologist Sophie Neveu, played in the movie by renowned French actress Audrey Tautou. In other words, the Gospels are a crock. Acclaimed painter Leonardo da Vinci knew the truth and left clues in his acclaimed paintings.

This premise has made anarthrous novelist Dan Brown the bestselling anarthrous novelist in the world. Even in a largely post-Christian West, Jesus is still a hit brand but, like other long-running franchises, he's been reinvented. It's like one of those bizarro Superman/alternate universe specials the comic books like to do. Or maybe one of those sputtering soaps that take refuge in ever more bizarre storylines -- that season of Dallas where they wrote off the previous year's worth of shows as a bad dream of Pam Ewing's.

The latest Bizarro Christ bestseller is the so-called Gospel of Judas, lost for 1,600 years but apparently rediscovered 20 minutes ago, edited by various scholars and now published by the National Geographic Society in Washington. Evidently, National Geographic has fallen on hard times since the days when anthropological studies of remote tribes were a young man's only readily available source of pictures of naked women. So I hope this new wrinkle works out for them. Renowned betrayer Judas Iscariot, you'll recall, was the disciple who sold out Jesus. Only it turns out he didn't! He was in on the plot! The betrayal was all part of the plan! For, as the Gospel of Judas exclusively reveals, Christ came to him and said, "Rudolph, with your nose so bright . . ." No, wait, that's a later codex. Christ said to Judas that he "will exceed all" the other disciples because it had fallen to him to "sacrifice the man that clothes me."

As with The Da Vinci Code, the air of scholarship is important. So here's the first sentence of the Gospel of Judas:

"The secret account1 of the revelation2 that Jesus spoke in conversation with Judas Iscariot during a week3 three days before he celebrated Passover4."

Scholarly or what? Four footnotes in the first sentence. And when you go down to the foot, footnote one says: "or, 'treatise,' 'discourse,' 'word' (Coptic, from Greek, logos)." Footnote two reads: "Or, 'declaration,' 'exposition,' 'statement'. . ." What is this? The Thesaurus of Judas? Here's number three: "literally, 'during eight days,' probably intended to indicate a week."

You think so? Or could it indicate a little over a week?

On the face of it, sticking a bunch of speed bumps into every sentence would not normally be considered helpful to the reader. But once again the point is tonal: it's to remind you, relentlessly, that this is "authentic" -- it was actually written by long-time Jesus sidekick Judas! Well, okay, it wasn't. It's a fourth-century Coptic text by some guy, but it's believed to be pretty close to the original second-century Greek text. Okay, Judas wasn't around in the second century, but the fellows who wrote his "Gospel" likely got it from a friend of a friend of a friend of his. As Dr. Simon Gathercole of the University of Aberdeen told my old pal Dalya Alberge in the London Times, the alleged Gospel of Judas "contains a number of religious themes which are completely alien to the first-century world of Jesus and Judas, but which did become popular later, in the second century AD. An analogy would be finding a speech claiming to be written by Queen Victoria, in which she talked about The Lord Of The Rings and her CD collection."

And that would probably sell, too, if you put in a bit about how she was the love child of John the Baptist, but the Knights Templar covered it up until the manuscript was discovered at an Elks Lodge. The "Gospel" of Judas isn't a Gospel as the term is understood in the New Testament. It has minimal narrative and no moral teachings. If it's authentic, it joins the club of marginal second-century Gnostic texts that are floating around out there. If you're a believing Christian, it's thin gruel. Nonetheless, the New York Times hails it as "revealing the diversity of beliefs and practices among early followers of Jesus."

"Diversity," eh? Now what could they mean by that? Interestingly, for those gay-marriage advocates who point out that Jesus never said a word about homosexuality in his entire life, there are a couple of moments here in which Jesus refers to priests who are fornicators and "sleep with men." But don't worry. As footnote 51 assures us, "The accusation of sexual impropriety is a standard feature of polemical argumentation. One's opponents are frequently said to be immoral people."

In other words, it's just a bit of rhetorical red meat. Don't take it as Gospel. It seems curious to me that, on the one hand, one can claim this book in general blows the lid off Christ's final days and, at the same time, that in particular it's full of period tics that shouldn't be taken literally. These Christianesque bestsellers surely testify to something, but God knows what (as it were). It's interesting that so many non-churchgoing readers are interested in Jesus, disheartening that they're so Biblically illiterate. Still, given the success he's had dismissing the premise of the New Testament as a fraud, perhaps Dan Brown could try writing a revisionist biography of acclaimed prophet Muhammad. Just a thought.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: anarthrous; davincicodeisgarbage
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To: Pokey78
"These Christianesque bestsellers surely testify to something, but God knows what"

lol. Priceless.

Everyone must instantly run out and find a book called the Asti Spumante Code. They should have made that one into the movie. Two or three scenes in particular, just rolfl stuff. And has the original's number, cold.

161 posted on 05/10/2006 8:28:58 PM PDT by JasonC
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To: LK44-40
Anarthrous theme of Steyn is simply the string upon which the pearls are hung.

But he does make a point with this - one that C.S. Lewis made before him. Bad writing (and this is TRULY bad writing) is often a smokescreen for fuzzy thinking and inability to express oneself.

162 posted on 05/10/2006 8:29:51 PM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: AnAmericanMother

*sigh*


163 posted on 05/10/2006 8:35:05 PM PDT by MHGinTN (If you can read this, you've had life support from someone. Promote life support for others.)
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To: MHGinTN

Why are you sighing? (or was that a yawn?)


164 posted on 05/10/2006 8:37:36 PM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: Pokey78

>>It's a good rule in this line of work to respect a hit. But golly, The Da Vinci Code makes it hard.<<

Its a really well written book of fiction - enjoyable, compelling - its Harry potter class writing - .


165 posted on 05/10/2006 8:41:10 PM PDT by gondramB (He who angers you, in part, controls you. But he may not enjoy what the rest of you does about it.)
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To: AnAmericanMother

Not at all a yawn. The sigh is an acknowledgement of my own flaws in novel writing ... it's so hard to let one go after many edits, kind of like abandoning a child without reaching perfection in parenting. But Brown doesn't appear to care about editing for clarity or to make a smooth read.


166 posted on 05/10/2006 8:48:49 PM PDT by MHGinTN (If you can read this, you've had life support from someone. Promote life support for others.)
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To: Pokey78

Thank you, Pokey.

Acclaimed wordsmith Steyn's genius knows no bounds!


167 posted on 05/10/2006 8:54:26 PM PDT by Brian Allen (All that is required to ensure the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. -- Edmund Burke)
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To: Pokey78
perhaps Dan Brown could try writing a revisionist biography of acclaimed prophet Muhammad

Nah. He's made too much money to commit suicide in such a messy, painful way. But it's a fine thought.

168 posted on 05/10/2006 8:59:52 PM PDT by irv
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To: MHGinTN

Yes, it's throughout. To read the NT and not see the Incarnation requires quite a bit of extra effort.


169 posted on 05/10/2006 9:31:46 PM PDT by D-fendr
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To: omega4412
Good material for the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, "where www means Wretched Writers Welcome."

LOL! My first thought when I read about this novel! "It was a dark and stormy night..."

170 posted on 05/10/2006 11:34:17 PM PDT by Watery Tart (I think Grisham writes like he's a high-school sophomore, but that's another thread.)
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To: Pokey78
A new photo of Mr Steyn:


171 posted on 05/11/2006 6:50:20 AM PDT by Rummyfan
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To: MHGinTN
There's a difference between writing for love, and writing for money.

Don't feel bad about heavy editing. Charles Dickens and Rudyard Kipling, two of my favorite writers, were both heavy editors (and back in the days when you did it by hand, with a pen!). Their manuscripts look like somebody had an ink fight.

172 posted on 05/11/2006 7:03:16 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: Kokojmudd
IMHO the church doesn't need to defend the faith against this since it is such an obviously bogus and temporary fad.

Even Ed Bradley on 60 Minutes was able to thoroughly debunk the Da Vinci Code.

173 posted on 05/11/2006 7:07:54 AM PDT by Moonman62 (Federal creed: If it moves tax it. If it keeps moving regulate it. If it stops moving subsidize it)
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To: MHGinTN
"And Jesus said to Philip, 'Have I been so long with you and you still don't understand that all you can see of the Father is what you see in me. For I am in the Father and the Father is in me.'"

Assuming this is an authentic statement of Jesus, my interpretation is this: "I am God's representative on earth, and what I am and what I do is the result of His power working within me. Because I do the will of the Father, I show you what the Father is like." This is not the same as saying, "I am God" or "I am the Father." An analogous situation in ordinary life (no irreverence intended) might be a sports agent going to a baseball team owner and saying: "My client has complete confidence in me, and I do only what he tells me to do. he has given me complete authority to represent him. There is no need to meet with him personally, because he and I are in complete agreement about how to proceed. He and I are one on this." No one would confuse the identity of the client with the identity of the agent.
174 posted on 05/11/2006 7:31:26 AM PDT by Steve_Seattle
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To: Revolting cat!
"I'm afraid that the publishing industry has hit a golden vein . . . "

Yep - Barnes & Noble has a whole table full of Da Vinci code stuff. And revisionist histories of early Christianity, translations of various Gnostic gospels, and Gnostic/Masonic conspiracy books come out on an almost daily basis. The strange thing is that the Gnostic gospels are incredible BS - overinflated pretentious mumbo-jumbo - and it would be very difficult very any modern person to read straight through them, much less actually believe them. I bet most of those books don't get read from cover to cover. But they sell. My bet is that in a few years, the dollar bin at Half Price Books will be full of them.
175 posted on 05/11/2006 7:38:57 AM PDT by Steve_Seattle
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To: jwh_Denver
Peter is my favorite example of a man who turned into such a great man after receiving the holy spirit at Pentecost. I would say my favorite man is Paul. He ushered in the new understanding of what had changed after Jesus Christ ascended into heaven. No small task indeed.

Amen to that!

I look forward to getting to know both of them better in eternity. i am sure they are cool dudes to hang out with.

176 posted on 05/11/2006 8:04:25 AM PDT by bondserv (God governs our universe and has seen fit to offer us a pardon. †)
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To: Steve_Seattle
It appears that you have a problem acknowledging the authority of God and that He is Jesus Christ. Jesus didn't say to Philip, 'Phil, I'm like the Father, and the idea of His righteousness is something I'm living to show you how it could be.' And by the way, doubter, your starting with 'assuming this is an authentic statement of Jesus' shows you are looking desperately for exception clauses in a contract that depends upon God's integrity to maintain and not your integrity ... you have no integrity that even measures up to God so He doesn't depend upon your integrity. GIVE UP, dude/dudette. You can never accomplish by your efforts or your 'lawyering for authority' that which God offers in Grace toward you and guarantees on His integrity not yours. The scriptures were given for your edification not for your focus to argue with ... you show you don't want to accept His edification when you start comments with 'assuming this is authentic' and preface your opinion of scripture with 'my interpretation is' then proceed to turn the meaning of the passage on its head to support your opinion at the expense of learning of Him.

Look at the whole passage, the context in which the passage has meaning for the believer (because the Apostles were believers in Him but weren't too solid on how He was God on earth). Jesus said 'I AM in the Father and the Father is in me'. He meant what He said else He would have said -for the benefit of lawyering folks like yourself- 'I'm God's rep on earth and His power works in me by His authority not mine' ... because Jesus wouldn't try to trick anyone by taking credit for miracles accomplished by some external authority. We know this because when He left, He left the same authority that is in Him to indwell the disciples so that they would do similar miracles by the authority He placed within them! That authority IS the indwelling God of Creation in the person of the Holy Spirit. Of course, the Holy Spirit indwells the human spirit and while we yet contain also the nature we inherited from Adam which manipulates our soul (as differing from our spirit- see the construction of the Tabernacle for a clear exposition on this difference in soul and spirit), so we have but the earnest of our future inheritance. But indwelling the Christian IS the Holy Spirit. Jesus isn't 'the agent of God', He IS God, just as the Holy Spirit IS God. If you are a Christian then you are the agent of God in this time because GOD indwells you with His Holy Spirit.

177 posted on 05/11/2006 9:21:13 AM PDT by MHGinTN (If you can read this, you've had life support from someone. Promote life support for others.)
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To: fortunecookie
Oh, lolol, I will have to use this line! ROFL.

Have you actually read the novel?

Some of the stuff I've seen on these threads remind me of the leftists and their memes.

178 posted on 05/11/2006 10:26:40 AM PDT by jess35
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To: Pokey78
Still, given the success he's had dismissing the premise of the New Testament as a fraud, perhaps Dan Brown could try writing a revisionist biography of acclaimed prophet Muhammad. Just a thought.

Ouch!
179 posted on 05/11/2006 10:59:45 AM PDT by Antoninus (I will not vote for a liberal, regardless of party.)
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To: jess35
Have you actually read the novel?

The entire novel? No. I did not enjoy his writing style. I've read sections, excerpts, and like some on the thread, tried to start at the beginning and read through the book. (And, yes, I enjoy reading and have read other books, fiction and nonfiction.)

Some of the stuff I've seen on these threads remind me of the leftists and their memes.

LOL, I hardly fall into the category of leftist, especially because my criticisms of the book are regarding it's treatment by some Christians as revealed Christian truth. It's not. It's fiction. My concern is that, Catholics/Christians are reading it as truth, instead of the fiction it is. And then sharing this error with those around them, insisting it's truth, and then teaching these UNtruths as truths to the schoolchildren they teach religion to in the Catholic schools, as people known to me have done.

Reading it as fantasy or pure fiction would be different. That is how I approached it when I attempted to read it. But many seem unable or unwilling to do that. Many, not all. And there seems to be a kind of hysteria over this book as truth finally uncovered, as longtime legends and rumors finally and completely confirmed.

So have you read the entire book? Do you regard it as fiction? Or truth? What is it, then, what point do you seem to feel I am missing about the book?

180 posted on 05/11/2006 1:00:59 PM PDT by fortunecookie
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