Next Monday is National Irish Immigrant Day! All of Irish descent, come on out, take the day off, march in the streets shouting and singing, patronize your local pubs -- all of them. We'll show America exactly what kind of people REALLY put a dent in this economy. A million illegals and their sympathizers have got NOTHING on us Irish!
Then, coming on the 15th, National Scottish Immigrant Day! Don yer kilts, laddies, dust off yer pipes and drums, spill into the streets for a day at games, closing with an afternoon of pipe and drum competition. Sure an' you'll get an eyefull of the hardy Scotts economic contributions to this country. Up yer kilt!
After THAT, on the 22nd, National Italian Immigrant Day! Put on your Fedora, look up all of your Mob connections, polish the Crown Victoria, start cooking at 4:00am and spill into the streets for a day of reunions, dancing, wine tasting, and some of the most suptuous dining anywhere on planet Earth; the pungent aroma of garlic and basil will FILL the air. We'll see an animated expression of the proud Italian heritage that helped raise this industrial Nation out of it's agrarian cradle.
You simply DO NOT want to miss National Jewish Immigrant Day -- June 5th. Swing by the synagogue with the whole family; even your forever-kvetching Aunt Maude. Everyone ELSE may as well make this a PTO day, as well, with half of Wall Street shut down, there is NOTHING more economically substantive heppening on THIS day. ATM's will, however, be operating normally and most Chinese restaurants will remain open.
June 12th is National Chinese Immigrant Day! San Francisco will be at a standstill with all streets entering Chinatown blocked off for a gargantuan festival, parades, fireworks -- you haven't ever seen it like THIS before, not even 'Chinese New Year' will rival this. We all know that Chinese indusrty layed the rails that bound the two great oceans together, facilitating the most rapid rise of any Western economy in the history of the World. Today, in any office building in Silicon Valley, you'll as likely hear Chinese spoken as English as that tradition of prowess pushes the limits of semiconductor production technology. You wanna see an economic dent? Try living in an America without any Chinese!
Continuing in the footsteps of industry, June 17th is National German Immigrant Day! Forget waiting for Oktoberfest; break out the bier and lederhosen, this is set to ba a wonderful, food-fraught festival of polkas, beer tasting, and a thousand-and-one kinds of sausage; from the best of the wurst to the, well, worst. All this in celebration of the brilliant contributions of German minds to our glorious American tapestry!
Need I go on? I mean, I think you get the point, but I would be remiss if I left out THE MOST IMPORTANT day of all: National Legal Citizens Day! Yes, that's RIGHT. Our great American heritage celebration culminates on June 24th with National Legal Citizen Day, with every legal citizen taking the entire day off to go out to the parks, to the streets, to march, dance, sing, share great food, and show the entire WORLD what economic POWER is bound up in our LEGAL citizenry. NO ILLEGALS ALLOWED; they have to go to WORK -- if anyone's hiring this day -- or remain home. We WILL be checking for papers, so pack your legal I.D. with you!
Oh man.......OH man.
The Mayor of LA would be stuck cleaning toilets all day.
Such a wonderful thought. ;)
hey you forgot us Polish!
Good one! Did you write it? I'm passing it around to a few of my friends and relatives.