Posted on 04/30/2006 5:03:58 PM PDT by Vision Thing
A man dies and goes to hell. There he discovers that he has a choice: he can go to capitalist hell or to communist hell. Naturally, he wants to compare the two, so he goes over to capitalist hell. There outside the door is the devil, who looks a bit like Ronald Reagan. "What's it like in there?" asks the visitor. "Well," the devil replies, "in capitalist hell, they flay you alive, then they boil you in oil and then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."
"That's terrible!" he gasps. "I'm going to check out communist hell!" He goes over to communist hell, where he discovers a huge queue of people waiting to get in. He waits in line. Eventually he gets to the front and there at the door to communist hell is a little old man who looks a bit like Karl Marx. "I'm still in the free world, Karl," he says, "and before I come in, I want to know what it's like in there."
"In communist hell," says Marx impatiently, "they flay you alive, then they boil you in oil, and then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."
"But but that's the same as capitalist hell!" protests the visitor, "Why such a long queue?"
"Well," sighs Marx, "Sometimes we're out of oil, sometimes we don't have knives, sometimes no hot water
"
(Excerpt) Read more at prospect-magazine.co.uk ...
bump
Not just in the Soviet Union, but here in the US, too.
Notice how the high-tech boom happened here as soon as the Cold War ended. Many of our engineers here who were once employed or sought jobs from defense contractors ended up in Silicon Valley and other high-tech hubs.
Most of the talent and funds that once went into fighting the Cold War ended up being redeployed in a healthy Capitalist competition of who could satisfy the customer the best.
Of course, those days are done, now that the dot.com boom ended.
Hi there, AnnaZ!
The hyperlink doesn't seem to work.
The article mentions that the Soviets imprisoned their people who mocked communism. It's a testament to their citizens spirit that they dared to tell such jokes.
Now as for Muslims, does Allah (or OBL) punish them for laughing at themselves?
Ooooh! Something new for me to read. Thanks for the link.
I didn't even think to post this article in response to May Day, especially because we are no longer thinking of it as the Worker's day, but as the day when the illegal immigrant's will try to stick it to America.
Now that's another laughing matter.
commie joke ping
Ooooh! Something new for me to read. Thanks for the link.It's a good one, but not my favorite, which has to be Immortality. Here's a list:
* The Joke (1967; Eng. trans., 1982)
* Laughable Loves, a collection of short stories originally published in the 1960s (Eng. trans., 1974)
* Life Is Elsewhere (1969; Eng. trans., 1974)
* Jacques and His Master, 1975
* The Farewell Waltz, 1976 (Previous title translation: The Farewell Party)
* The Book of Laughter and Forgetting (1979; Eng. trans., 1980)
* The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1984; Eng. trans., 1984). (film)
* The Art of the Novel, 1985
* Immortality, 1990
* Testaments Betrayed, 1992
* Slowness, 1994
* Identity, 1998
* Ignorance, 2000
* The Curtain, 2005
I didn't even think to post this article in response to May Day, especially because we are no longer thinking of it as the Worker's day, but as the day when the illegal immigrant's will try to stick it to America.Yeah... so funny I forgot to laugh...
Now that's another laughing matter.
"To which Ivan responds, "I need to know because the plumber is scheduled to be there in the morning.""
I was in East Germany pre-fall as a teenager (part of a HS tour of Europe -- really on the way to Berlin).
We had an overnight in a cruddy hotel, drinking Bacardi and coke purchased Germany proper (clear rum being easier to smuggle past the teachers in water bottles, you know).
We were complaining about what a dump E Germany was, and, in particular, how our toilet that was backed up.
About a half hour later, there was a knock on the door.
It was the plumber. He said he had been told that our toilet was backed up.
(We had not yet left the room.)
Ah, for the good old days when our enemies loved their children too, as opposed to using them as human bombs.
Moreover, communist were atheists. They thought this was it. By definition, they did not want to die. Different incentive with 72 virginians.
A bit off topic, but it made me laugh.
The minister, taken aback, gasped. "Comrade! How can you spit on this floor where the great Lenin himself walked? It is not polite."
"Bah! The Queen of England herself told me it was perfectly proper."
"The... Queen of England?" asked the mystified minister.
"Yes, the Queen of England! When I visited Buckingham Palace on a state visit last year, I spat on the floor there, and she said, 'Mr. Khrushchev, you may do that all you like in the Kremlin...'."
""What a dreadful failure communism was. ""
We see it everyday in Blue cities.
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