What's adultery?
Posted on 04/01/2006 8:20:16 AM PST by EveningStar
What's adultery?
Having been divorced twice...
Aduletry is easier for women. Not only do they do it for selfish reasons, but they get to blame the man for it.
Bottom line no matter what a woman does wrong, its the man's fault.
Pardon me for saying this...but it seems like you were...twice. Good to see you stopped being played for what you clearly are not. :) God Bless.
Blame enough for both sides to pass around on this issue. Never forget the adage made famous many years ago when repeated by men to convince a prospective lover..."My wife.......she doesn't understand me". *chuckle*
One spouse is severly disabled physically or mentally and the other, for whatever reason, cannot or does not want to divorce.
One spouse is severely abusive and the other, for whatever reason, cannot or does not want to divorce.
I know a very fine woman whose husband abused her terribly. She had an affair with a very kind and wise man. He helped her cope and gave her wise council. She divorced her husband but not before he was sent up the river for murder. It might have been her if she had not had the affair with that particular man.
There are probably other reasons as well.
I'm glad you're not bitter. (sarcasm)
Seems to me there's plenty of blame to go around. In my 20s, I was asked out by married men far more than by single men. I got in the habit of looking for the tan line on the ring finger. Sometimes they didn't even bother to take off their wedding rings. When I'd say, "But you're married!" they'd shrug and say, "So what?" Or I'd get the "my wife doesn't understand me" speech.
This is obviously high quality crap. It's a question of right and wrong. Good and evil.
1. So what if your spouse is disabled? Did you marry for better or for worse... or not? The case of Michael Schivo comes to mind. At best, he's a lying, sleazy adulterer. At worst, he's also a murderer.
2. Abuse? What kind of reason is that? Awww, (s)he treated me badly so therefore I'm going out and having an affair.
Did you make a vow in front of God or not? If so, what is your word worth and how are you following the Commandments? If not, then you really weren't married in the first place and were committing adultery right from the start.
Excuses and rationalizations. Are we no better than the DUmmies? There are no excuses and no reasons. You either are committing adultery or you are not. I suspect that the Lord God Almighty might not see the nuances as well as you on Judgement Day.
I read the whole article and frankly, it was a total oversimplification of a very complex subject. There are so aspects to marriage that were assumed to be the case in this article that for a fellow who has supposedly been through two divorces, it was surprising that he hasn't twigged on to a few clues about it.
I've never gone through with it, but I came very close during my last marriage. However, I was reacting out of the desire to be with someone who seemed to have a lot more respect for me than my ex did.
I've had years to think about it and learn from it. I learned two lessons, one for each sex. If you want an affair resistant relationship, ladies: respect your man. Men: be someone they can respect.
I think people who say they are against divorce are a little more sympathetic than they will let on. But it's very hard to listen patiently to people who like to unload on you everything about their divorce, even if they're a friend or relative, though they will often do just that whenever the subject comes up.
Eeuwww, a wrinkly old man and plastic Barbie dolls. Do you suppose they're with him for his looks and charm?
I am married to the same wonderful woman I married 46 years ago, and I love her more and more every day. I have NO desire to have sex with anyone else. I LOVE making love to my own wife, in my own home, and have no desire to commit adultery. I am--furthermore--the only man who has ever made love to her.
However--there are circumstances that mitigate adultery--and other offenses also. I can see this. Perhaps you can't.
Incidentally, there is a very good tale by Herman Melville, Billy Budd, that addresses the subject of circumstances that mitigate murder. A young man is hanged for murder. He is guilty, and the law is followed. However, mitigating circumstances demonstrate that justice is not served, that his execution was in fact unjust. The tale is very depressing; it shows what can result when mitigating circumstances are ignored.
There may or may not be circumstances that mitigate sin but there have been none brought up worthy of consideration.
The tale of Billy Budd has no relevance to this topic. You have brought up the notions that in case of abuse or in case of disability that adultery could be a good thing.
The case that you did bring up of an abused woman using her adultery to better herself is not a valid justification by any means. It is merely a case of someone wronged doing wrong herself. The fact that she got away from the abuser doesn't enter into it. She could have gotten away using other means.
Thus, we are still left with a completely, and on the face of it rather absurd, unsupported statement. Sorry, sir. It doesn't wash.
If memory serves, a certain dude named Moses came down from a mountain with some instructions from God.
I believe that one of the instructions says something like: THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.
'Tain't the issue whether it washes with me or not. I'm not Unitarian or Episcopalian so therefore I don't get to make up the rules as I go along. You say that you're looking forward to chatting with God on your Judgement Day? I think that the conversation might take some interesting turns as you explain to the Almighty what he really did or didn't mean in terms of adultery and why you'd incite somebody else to break His commandments.
And BTW, I'm not waiting until Judgment Day to talk with God. I talk with Him always--including this very moment.
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