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Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???
Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo

Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.

That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.

Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.

Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.

Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.

You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.

We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.

Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.

You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.

I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.

I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.

She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.

I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.

Amen. Now pass the cornbread.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: africanamerican; aquanetta; babynames; black; brerrabbit; byanyothername; children; deandre; dejames; ebonics; jaquezjaquan; lemonjello; name; names; nintendo; orangejello; spechal; unusualnames
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To: texasbluebell

"...it was supposed to be Orpah, a biblical name, but it got a little mangled."

I'd say it was an improvement. And I sort of like how she spells it backwards and gets "Harpo Productions", otherwise it would be hapro, lacks the same hollywood cachet, don't you think?



681 posted on 03/30/2006 3:41:50 PM PST by jocon307 (The Silent Majority - silent no longer)
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To: old_sage_says

See post 680


682 posted on 03/30/2006 3:42:08 PM PST by MeanWestTexan (Many at FR would respond to Christ "Darn right, I'll cast the first stone!")
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To: Ditter
I think I remember hearing that Condoleezza is a classical music term...

No. Adjectives in music have Italian masculine endings, such as allego, adagio, crescendo, diminduendo, callando, smorzando, sforzando, etc. Add an Italian feminine "a" at the end, and you'd have a "feminine" classical music term, such as allegra, adagia, etc. There is no condaleezo in classic music. Or in rap, for that matter.

The string instrument "viola" often shows up as a feminine name because it has a feminine ending. Violino and violoncello are masculine, as is faggotto, the Italian term for the bassoon. Fuga, the Italian term for a "fugue", is feminine, but nobody would name their daughter by term in either language.

683 posted on 03/30/2006 3:42:11 PM PST by Publius
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To: DuncanWaring

"Am I missing something, or does that list lack "John Wayne Gacy"?"

You beat me by 35 seconds.


684 posted on 03/30/2006 3:42:39 PM PST by old_sage_says ("Man does not live by his words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them" A S)
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To: Library Lady

I don't know if it's true or not, but I had a conversation with a guidance counselor years ago that claimed that one of her students had given a child this name.



Most urban myths are based on such 3rd person reports. Those who have researched this issue have published widespread requests for evidence of a "Lemonjello", and come up empty handed.


685 posted on 03/30/2006 3:43:23 PM PST by Atlas Sneezed (Your FRiendly FReeper Patent Attorney)
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To: greyfoxx39

Git-R-Done!


686 posted on 03/30/2006 3:44:51 PM PST by Denver Ditdat (Melting solder since 1975)
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To: BunnySlippers

Isn't there a kid on TV named Angus.

It's sorta' cute but it also reminds me of cattle or Angus from AC/DC..


687 posted on 03/30/2006 3:45:02 PM PST by pnz1
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To: Tax-chick

Thanks, Tax-chick! He'll show up when he's ready, I guess. : )

Congrats on your new arrival, too.

Thomas Jackson is a GREAT name! Hey, it's not too late to try and change my husband's mind. LOL.


688 posted on 03/30/2006 3:45:22 PM PST by coop71 (Being a redhead means never having to say you're sorry...)
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To: LS

And, no joke, I went to HS with a retarded girl named Pigg. Her idiot parents named her . . . Ima. I kid you not.

I also knew an Ima as in Imogene Pigg too. She taught business at the university I attended and also had a PhD in Economics.


689 posted on 03/30/2006 3:46:40 PM PST by miele man
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To: cyborg

"Thanks for your opinion! Have an awesome weekend."

You're quite welcome, and I will have a nice weekend. You do the same, now.


690 posted on 03/30/2006 3:46:52 PM PST by Altamira (Get the UN out of the US, and the US out of the UN!)
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To: cyborg
I brought up Hispanic surnames on this thread. If we can judge people based upon their names...then what is going to happen to people with obviously Hispanic surnames after this immigration debaucle gets a full head of steam and turns into hate.

It's kind-of frightening. As I said before, I named my daughter after the Queen of Sheeba. Even though it is considered a "black" name, it has not made her less successful, it has made her unique.
691 posted on 03/30/2006 3:47:06 PM PST by colorcountry (You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.....CS Lewis)
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To: Xenalyte

Hmmm. Grayson. I like that, actually. "Gray" for short would work, if Grayson was the full name. But they named him Grey. Just Grey with an "e". Ugh.


692 posted on 03/30/2006 3:47:54 PM PST by coop71 (Being a redhead means never having to say you're sorry...)
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To: stands2reason

Cokie Roberts could marry Michael Caine and become Cokie Caine.


693 posted on 03/30/2006 3:47:58 PM PST by Denver Ditdat (Melting solder since 1975)
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To: Windcatcher

Why do we normally have three names? Why not more or less?


694 posted on 03/30/2006 3:47:59 PM PST by pnz1
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To: Publius

There is "con dolcezza", but the spelling got tangled up in the naming process.


695 posted on 03/30/2006 3:47:59 PM PST by linda_22003
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To: D.P.Roberts

I wouldn't have called it a man's name exclusively; it was unisex before Shirley Temple came around. But it definitely became a woman's name after her.


696 posted on 03/30/2006 3:49:02 PM PST by stands2reason
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To: pnz1

(shrug) inertia? There are many who only have two, however.


697 posted on 03/30/2006 3:50:00 PM PST by Windcatcher (Earth to libs: MARXISM DOESN'T SELL HERE. Try somewhere else.)
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To: twippo
Quite a few funny lines in this article:
Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.

698 posted on 03/30/2006 3:50:28 PM PST by daivid
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To: rit

You replied to the wrong person ( I didn't mention the infamous IMA, though I do know all about her ); but that's okay. :-)


699 posted on 03/30/2006 3:50:35 PM PST by nopardons
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To: sharkhawk
I swam with a girl who was named Sandra Claus, and another girl named Candace (Candy) Epple. It's amazing what the hippies would do to their children.

I went to school with kids whose last name was "Cherry". Their parents named them "Bing" and "Royal Anne".

700 posted on 03/30/2006 3:51:06 PM PST by wyattearp (The best weapon to have in a gunfight is a shotgun - preferably from ambush.)
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