Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???

Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

[wbill]

named after a town south of Sun Valley, Picabo, Idaho.

Did you hear about where she broke her leg? She commissioned a wing at the hospital that fixed her up.

It was called Picabo ICU, of course. (rimshot)

[antisocial]

"And, no joke, I went to HS with a retarded girl named Pigg. Her idiot parents named her . . . Ima. I kid you not."

One of our famous Texas govenors was named Pigg. He named his daughters Ima, and Youra.

[BlessedByLiberty]

You know, somewhere there is a QWERTY, probably the kid of a typing teacher. :)

[Primetimedonna]

As everyone has been saying, it's not only Blacks....some people find humor when putting the first and last name together to form names (actual people I know):

Kelly Green, Sandy Beech, Charles (Chuck) Gluck

[cajungirl]

There is a Dr. Slaughter here, I used to love to hear him paged.

I was delivered by a Dr. Godfrey,,I for years thought Arthur Godfrey delivered me.

[utahagen]

I have apologized for that already!

[Altamira]

"Someone cracked that she was lucky her name wasn't Bedell. Turns out that's what they named her brother! "

I know someone named Bernard who named his son Benard (sic.) The sister was named Christinea (sic.) And this was the state of black names 65 years ago. It's only gone downhill since.

[AnnGora]

I had an Uncle Homer and I have an Aunt Fairie who is still kicking at age 95.

[radiohead]

My Black name is "UnQueezy" (Everyone should have one)

I'm mixed. My black name is Shaniqa Jo.

Seriously, I've been saying this same thing for years. Generally, middle class blacks don't saddle their children with these godawful names, but over the past few years I've seen a few creep into the fold. Stop it people! You are dooming your child to a life at minimum wage or in the back room.

btw - the author mentions white laughter at these names. Trust me, plenty of blacks are laughing at them as well.

[Xenalyte]

Where I used to work, we managed money for a nurse whose last name was Halfpap. She lived in Climax, Michigan.

And don't think we were at all grown-up about THAT.

[smalltownslick]

A boy named Sue?

Here's a funny story - there was a black man in Nashville named Su (last name I've forgotten) - he owned a famous nightclub there, the Modern Era, I believe. I have always wondered if Shel Silverstein knew him, and if he was the inspiration for the song.

[Mr. Mojo]

I have apologized for that already!

lol...on a thread this active you're bound to find at least few posters who don't use FR's "view replies" option.

[floydian7]

No urban myth, I worked for a dentist in high school. Two of his patients were twins, oranjello and lemonjello. Cute little identical boys. Lots of fun.

There is a white family quite well educated who named their son Braxton Hicks! I dunno--maybe she was in labor a little too long.

[pollyannaish]

I think that is fine because Katharine it isn't a self conscious attempt to give her a special "identity." In fact I think all family names, and original spellings are off the hood from my perspective.

My frustration is completely made up phonetic spellings like Kathrhyne. You know, so it looks like it came from the phonetic spelling next tot he word in the dictionary.

I think the unusual spelling of Madicyn above is a good illustration of that. It's good to be different, but it's better to be clear.

And mostly it's good to not get upset if someone looks a little confused when they see your name. ; ).

BTW, my one of my best friends is a Jenelle instead of Janelle. I still think Janelle looks wrong to this day!

[CzarNicky]

The sad thing about it that while her name was often a source of embarrassment to her, she refused to change it because she didn't want to shame her mother.

I was given a goofy name at birth, not that bad, and had to spend close to 100 dollars to change it though probate court. My parents do not accept it and think I was crazy to change it. I pretty much have a dual name now with family calling me by my old name and all new acquaintances by my new legal one. The name my parents gave me would have been fine had we lived in central Europe but we lived in the central United States.

[Robe]

There was two VERY influential sisters
in Houston that were named Ima HOGG and Ura HOGG

[Primetimedonna]

Almost forgot a married couple who were friends of my brother: Frank and Frances Francis (And yes, his actual name was Francis Francis!)

[OB1kNOb]

My little brother's first girlfriend was named Candy Bush. I swear I am not making that up.

Sweet!

[riverdawg]

"In my family, there was a Cecil, a Hazel, a Minnie, and a Vern."

All were common names 75 to 100 years ago; well, maybe not Minnie ... (OK - Minnie Minoso, but that had to be a nickname.)

[Library Lady]

We have a friend who has been called "Brother" since he was a baby. His wife says she gets funny looks when she introduces him as "my husband, Brother."