Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???

Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

[Revolting cat!]

There are two, uh, actresses in the area named, Kayla Kupcakes and Kayla Kleevage (Google their images at your own risk.)

[MeanWestTexan]

It is traditional in my family that the first born take the name of the paternal grandparent of that sex, the next, the maternal -- alternating, when possible --- and only not doing that if you'd end up with a "Junior," as it was considered bad form to name a child after yourself.

Only on No. 5 (or earlier, if heavier on one sex) are you free.

The maiden name of the mother is also usually the middle name of the sons and the mainder name of the paternal grandmother the middle name of the sons.

[linda_22003]

No - Rumer, spelled after the writer Rumer Godden. Rumer is a very old Welsh name.

[TXBubba]

You mean the Hogg sisters. And there was no "eura".

[Laura Earl]

They just don't become CEOs.

[LA Woman3]

My new name is Shuakhwe....
I don't even know how to pronounce it!

[PleaseNoMore]

I like the name Scout too. My 9 yo just read "To Kill A Mockingbird" and, at first, he got a laugh out of the the author referring to the character Jean Louise by the nickname "Scout".

[Servant of the 9]

Dacron? Brothers Rayon and Nylon?.....

There is/was a weatherwoman on CNN named Orlon Sydney, although she pronounces it Orln.

So9

[Dahoser]

Not to mention writing a book. (Great B5 reference!)

[Library Lady]

Many years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were introduced to another couple seated behind them at a ballgame. The man's name was Will Dye (or Die) and his wife was Eva May.

[Junior]

'Course, there was the name my father wanted to give me: Bartholemew Oglethorpe. He figured I'd have to grow up tough...

[Mordacious]

A Fun Freeper Quiz
Half of the names below were actually registered on birth certificates. The other half were just made up by yours truly, who is currently whacked out on too many allergy medications. Can you guess which are which?

1. Attica
2. Cinsere
3. Plumbolia
4. Sovanna
5. Sabhanna
6. Sivaughna
7. Rexicandle
8. Montelukast
9. Nipple
10. Wendellaras
11. Brinley
12. Absolutian
13. Jerica Karis
14. Vulva
15. Kamrei
16. Bertandernia
17. Kaylanto
18. Cilantro
19. Ty'Quan'DeNee'Shia
20. TaeKwonDoNeeShia

[Cletus.D.Yokel]

Hmmm...I, too am Shaft using my real name.

Using my Freep Name, I am...Cinque! Five??

[Fawn]

I know a girl who 15 years ago named her 3 girls: Tia, Canaan and Rio.

[DejaJude]

I had an uncle named Vivian.

I had one named Heber and one named Cecil.

[Chickensoup]

both go to school on the short bus?


I have never seen anybody say that before....that is funny.

[BenLurkin]

Exactly. I used to work with someone named Mercedes.

No one found anything untoward about it (or her).

[The Phantom FReeper]

Once had a male patient named Didymus. Gotta wonder what people would say to him in sex-ed class when they learned about the male anatomy.

[subterfuge]

Another column needs to address what white people are naming their babies. Some of the dumbest names I have ever heard:

Undoubtedly. I know a woman, in her 50's mind you, named Vernita. Her father's name was Vernon and the mother, Juanita. Hence--Vernita! Sounds like a word you'd say after a magic trick!

[PleaseNoMore]

A couple we are friends with named their daughter Nevaeh last year.