If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it really make a sound?would be.... NO...
[circa 12,006] There are TREMENDOUS AMOUNTS of scientific evidence that points to the existence of Santa Claus!
Just last week, the radioactivity of the NYC tell was low enough that researchers in the Remote Burrowing Mole X650 were able to finally penetrate the lower reachs of the crater (there is still debate whether it is volcanic or meteoric in origin).
Fossilized remains of MANY items that indicate SC did, in fact, exist at some time in the past have now, finally, been brought to light.
Research workers have had to call in the Auto-Gestapo Robo-Rangers to quell what appears to be worshippers of this ancient idol. They have been clogging the entry to the pit with so many people, that the boreing tools have had to wait until a path thru the throng can be cleared!
Calls of "Santa!! Bring me this or that! I've been GOOD!" are echoing and resounding over the digging area, and the Insta-Vision hovercraft are the only way we are able to bring you these Holograms of the scene.
One set of scientists have partially restored a large, round disc that appears to have an image of a fat, jolly person who has what appears to be hair or fur - white in color - upon his face! As you know, facial hair(?) disappeared from the humanoid ape-creature around the year 10 (2023 BCE old style date) when planet warming was fully accomplished.
There is some type of graphic symbols (They were known as characters - which were used before we evolved Mental Transmissal senses) that are on the round plate-like object. Here is a drawing of them:
D**n* Co**-**la
(* means they have not yet decrypted them.)
Now back to Al-Katie for a report from our capitol in Tehran: