Vicar can't believe in God (Daughter was murdered in London 7/7 terror attack; Faith is battered)

The Sun (U.K.) ^ | March 7, 2006 | JOHN COLES

[Stoat]

Vicar can't believe in God

Despair ... Rev Julie Nicholson has resigned
 

By JOHN COLES

 A VICAR whose daughter was killed in the 7/7 bombings has quit as she cannot forgive the Islamic terrorists who carried out the attacks.

The Rev Julie Nicholson has been unable to return to the pulpit since her 24-year-old daughter Jenny died on the Circle Line Tube train blown up at Edgware Road in London.

Now the 52-year-old has given up her post in the parish of St Aidan with St George, Bristol, because she cannot balance her faith with her feelings towards the bombers.

 

Jenny Nicholson ... died in terror blast
 

She says: “I rage that a human being could choose to take another human’s life. I rage that someone should do this is the name of a God. I am hugely offended that someone should take my daughter in the name of a religion or a God.

“I certainly don’t have any sense of compassion.

“Can I forgive them for what they did? No I cannot. And I don’t wish to.

“I say the name of my daughter’s murderer every day.

“I believe there are some things in life which are unforgiveable by the human spirit.”

 

Grief stricken ... tears at Jenny's funeral
 

She continues: “All my understanding of what it means to be a priest is peace, reconciliation and forgiveness.

“It is very difficult for me to stand behind an altar and celebrate the Eucharist, Communion and lead people in words of peace and reconciliation and forgiveness when I feel very far from that myself.

“I will leave potential forgiveness for whatever is after this life. I will leave that in God’s hands.”

Bishop of Bristol Mike Hill, a personal friend of Julie, says he understands how her faith has been tested.

He adds: “These situations in life shake the faith of everybody because they immediately bring into focus the ‘why’ question. Unfortunately, there is no simple Elastoplast answer to that question.”

 

Devastation ... scene of tube bombing
 

Jenny was killed by suicide bomber Mohammed Sidique Khan, 30, as she made her way to work at a music publishing company.

Her last known phone call was to her dad Gregg from Paddington station minutes before the bombing.

The gifted singer and pianist had recently moved to Reading, Berks, with her boyfriend James White after completing a masters degree in music at Bristol University. Her mother and father, who works for BAE Systems, were on holiday in Anglesey, North Wales, at the time of the outrage.

Julie was too distraught to speak at her daughter’s funeral at Bristol Cathedral in August but the Rt Rev Hill made her anger clear.

 

Terrorist ... Mohammed Sidique Khan
 

He told the 1,000 mourners: “There are few human words that can adequately express what we feel about people who indiscriminately carry out apparent acts of senseless violence against innocent civilian populations and, unbelievably, do so in the name of God.

“Such delusion, such evil is impossible for us to begin to comprehend.”

Julie, who has another daughter, Lizzie, 22, and a son Tom, 16, went on extended compassionate leave after Jenny’s death and has been unable to return to work.

Churchgoers are disappointed yet support her decision to quit.

Sales manager James Wray, 35, said: “When she arrived she had so much conviction and confidence.

 

No hope ... vicar left St Aidan with St George church
 

“Words cannot describe the hurt she and her family must have felt when they lost Jenny. She will always be in our thoughts and prayers and we hope Julie will come back to see us.

“She has a great many friends here.”

Rev Julie had taken up her job in 2004. She was previously a curate at St Mary’s in Henbury, Bristol, where Jenny was head chorister.

She is now taking up a role on a church-backed community youth project.

John Lloyd, spokesman for the Bishop of Bristol, said: “The Rev Julie Nicholson has indeed left the parish of St Aidan with St George.

“She will continue to work with a diocesan community youth project involving the arts.

“This new post will combine her theological and artistic ambitions — and it is a natural extension of her work in the Church.

“She was given extended leave of absence and received great support from the diocese but she decided this particular project is something she is keen to be involved in.”

Julie has been filming a religious programme for the BBC. The Easter special will feature people in similar circumstances to herself to see how they have coped with the bombings and how it has affected their faith.

Her comments were made in an interview with BBC Bristol for their Inside Out current affairs programme.

[paul51]

I can understand her grief and rage. It's a shame they posted a pic of that sick POS that killed her daughter in the same article.

[Star Traveler]

You said -- "Even Jesus despaired."

But, He didn't "lose faith" or cease believing in God, or accuse God of being uncaring of "His situation" or that God didn't recognize the suffering that He was going to have to go through.

I don't know how much of this that woman went through -- but we do have a good example in the Bible of this kind of suffering and loss. Look at Job (in the Old Testament).

By the Word of God, we have it that Job did not accuse God of any wrongdoing, although Job was distraught over his loss. In the end, God spoke to Job.

I would dare say that what happened to Job was much, much worse than what happened to this woman.

Everyone should read what God said to Job. It's several chapters long and is very impressive. That's a lesson to learn for all.

And further, in the New Testament, we have the words of the book of Hebrews. Look at Chapter 11.

13 These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.

And further on down --

36 Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment.

37 They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented--

38 of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the earth.

39 And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive the promise,

40 God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us.

And then in Chapter 12 --

1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

3 For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.

For Christians, we have the one true God, the Creator of the Universe and the author of our Salvation, and we shall be with Him forevermore (as He says).

For those terrorists, they have the one false god, better known as Satan and the Prince of Lies, the destroyer and murderer. This is the one that they call Allah. He is actually a pseudonym for Lucifer the father of lies and destruction.

That woman simply needs to get back in her Bible and recognize who God is, regardless of how distraught she is. We have the examples given to us in the Bible.

And then, further, we need to recognize the evil which is inherent in Islam and totally destroy it, as it's nothing but the work of Satan.

Regards,
Star Traveler

[utahagen]

I think she is resigning because she does have faith in Christianity, but feels she cannot live up to Christianity's demands because she cannot forgive the people who killed her daughter. My heart aches for her. (By the way, I am skeptical that God would expect this poor woman to "forgive" the men who murdered her daughter. Seems to me that "turn the other cheek" was deliberately hyperbolic and was more of a challenge than a literal command that we forgive people who murder our children...and aren't sorry!)

[Stoat]

It's a shame they posted a pic of that sick POS that killed her daughter in the same article.

I see your perspective, although I believe that sometimes it's instructive to view the face of evil.  Hopefully her legacy will not be diminished in any way by juxtaposing her image with the image of the filth that caused her needless death,

[Dionysius]

I feel for this woman, but true faith is a gift; it is not consciously acquired or re-acquired over time. Nor can it be diminished by any earthly occurence.

[HairOfTheDog]

I believe that sometimes it's instructive to view the face of evil.

Particularly because in the picture, he doesn't ~look~ evil.

[dollar_dog]

Even Jesus despaired.

Sure, but He ultimately forgave, didn't he?

For those justifying feelings of vengeance, try listening to the words of the Lord's Prayer next time, instead of simply reciting them while daydreaming.

Forgive us our trespasses as we for give those who trespass against us.

How much clearer does it need to be?

I don't blame her one bit for not being able to forgive (it's in our very nature), but not forgiving is not the way of Christ. I say good for her that she is intellectually honest enough to no longer preach what she doesn't practice.

[Jack Hammer]

Amen, brother.

[CygnusXI]

Maybe she was spared a more horrible death...
So many people forget that satan rules this earth.
Lucifer offered it to Jesus if he bowed down to him.
The 100's or 1000's of things that go "right", people never scream out WHY ME LORD... but if something goes wrong..

[Always Learning]

"The worst insult to god is to kill innocent ones created by that god."

I'm sure I'll regret posting this, but please be assured that I am doing so out of ignorance rather than to be accusatory or argumentative.

In the Bible, weren't innocents often killed in the name of God or at the behest of God? A few examples raising this concern off the top of my head:
- the first born of Egypt are killed to let the Israelis out of Egypt
- Joshua ambushes & massacres the people of AI (Joshua 1:6-8 if I recall correctly)
- Saul slaughters all of the Amelekites (1 Samuel 15)generations after their ancestors sinned
- 70,000 are killed as punishment for David's census
- David's son is killed for David's sins
- Many families are killed for the sins of the father
etc.

As I said, I'm not trying to be anti-Christian or anything; it's just a problem I have with the Bible that I could use some enlightening on. Thank you.

[cammie]

EVERYBODY, PLEASE READ THE ARTICLE!!! YOUR IRE SHOULD BE DIRECTED AT THE NEWSPAPER'S HEADLINE WRITER, NOT THE STRUGGLING MOTHER OF A TERRORISM VICTIM!!!

It sounds to me as if the woman is doing the best she can, and people here responding only to the headline.

[reagan_fanatic]

Where in the article does she state that she can't believe in God? Seems to me her torment is the balancing of her Christian faith, which includes forgiveness, against the monstrous act the terrorists did to her daughter.

[Stoat]

Where in the article does she state that she can't believe in God? Seems to me her torment is the balancing of her Christian faith, which includes forgiveness, against the monstrous act the terrorists did to her daughter.

Please see post #51.

[reagan_fanatic]

Thanks. I do hope this woman overcomes her grief in time and gets back into the ministry. She can do so much good there.

[VOA]

(this is said with all compassion for the lady)
She should simply forgive the evil man that practiced evil on her daughter.
Even if he'd laugh in her face if he hadn't died in the attack.

Then she should GET BACK TO WORK!
Fighting evil, encouraging good, emptying hell and filling heaven.
Presumably that is what she was doing before this awful loss...it would
be compounding tragedy if she didn't return to the same work following it.

[paul51]

She should simply forgive the evil man that practiced evil on her daughter. Even if he'd laugh in her face if he hadn't died in the attack.

Don't you think she would be doing that if it was that simple? Easy for you to say.

[Iris7]

I think we have all wrestled with this problem. Is it ever just to decide to kill someone?

One can apply the Golden Rule - Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Let us imagine that I, or you, or someone else like us, decided to make a bomb and set it off inside a crowded commuter train killing many people. Now, if I were to do such a thing, I would prefer to be caught, tried, and hung by the neck until dead. I obviously would deserve execution. More importantly, during my last days I may come to repent my sin and beg The Lord for His forgiveness.

If I were to attempt to kill many innocents because I was feeling brisk that day I would have others restrain me from my hideous planned sin. Execution could easily be in order in this case as well.

If I were to become an accessory to a vile crime either before the fact or after the fact the same rule applies.

Satan's forces kill her child and her response is to decide to follow the Prince of Lies. There is no truth or honor in that. Surely she can see that seeking justice is better than joining her child's murderers. Defending the kind and helpless is not a sin and using Justice's scale and sword when needed against the guilty is not a sin either.

[alrea]

Good points you make. My answer to the question is that Jesus taught that things should be different.

[Stoat]

Satan's forces kill her child and her response is to decide to follow the Prince of Lies.

According to the article, I got the impression that her Faith has been shaken to the point where she feels that she can no longer effectively serve as Vicar.....she is in too much pain.

I did not get the impression that she has in any way renounced her belief in God entirely.  Are you saying that her choices are equivalent to following Satan?

Surely she can see that seeking justice is better than joining her child's murderers.

"Joining her child's murderers"???

<<<<<<  confused expression on furry stoat face >>>>>>

[The_Reader_David]

Sad.

This is one result of trying to follow Christ in a confession that does not properly remember the martyrs. One is left with a merely human (and fallen human at that) conception of theodicy, so that the death of a loved one can readily strip away what faith one has.

Holy New Martrys of Beslan, pray Christ God that our souls may be saved.