Posted on 03/06/2006 9:51:00 PM PST by tbird5
It happens to the best of women. Here's Rosalind Wiseman, who has spent her entire working life teaching girls to treat each other decently. The script for the movie Mean Girls was based on her 2002 best-selling Queen Bees & Wannabes, a book that helps parents understand the drama and danger in the adolescent girl world. She knows the minefields that lie in gossip, jealousy, disloyalty and cruel judgments, and offers solid prescriptions for changing bad behaviour.
Yet despite her experience, she recently found herself sizing up two mothers who came to see her.
In her view, the women paid too much attention to their appearance, especially their hair. They seemed catty in their conversation, were micromanaging their kids' lives, and were silly.
"All these things came into my head. Why? They are antithetical to what I teach and believe," Wiseman says. "I was still judging these women."
Where does this nastiness come from?
Wiseman thinks it exists because it's supposed to exist. Being nasty to each other is one of the unspoken rules about how girls and women are supposed to behave; one of the rigidly enforced North American standards of what constitutes femininity.
"It's everything you know but haven't been sat down and taught," as Wiseman puts it.
When she judged the two women so harshly, it was as if she was acting out one of the observations she made in her book — that girls and women can be their own worst enemies.
(Excerpt) Read more at thestar.com ...
That's just TACKY!!
We share a pet peeve. But it's more like a pet rock. Makes me laugh, often. I get to glimpse inside how their brain works: Yup, just like an ill-designed inner city.
You're right. There are creepy men bullies and creepy women bullies. Probably creepy child bullies too.
It's not surprising this is written by a feminist and somewhat about fellow feminists...
Hey, that's what they tell the girls on "Top Model".
"You don't look mad enough."
You know very little. Your post shows that. Try again.
Okay
As one of those on FR older than dirt, let me say there are mean girls... And mean guys... Crap, there are just mean folks out there at all ages!
Those 'mean' high school 'cool' girls will most likely grow up to be mean... No, make that bitches. I saw them in high school and I saw them in college and in the disco clubs, C&W honky-tonks, in the business world and I see them nowadays in the "express/cash/credit only" lane with more than 10 items and taking forever to write a check...
And they are not only females, they are males also.
The world is full of A**holes and even here on FR they show their ugly ways and views.
I don't worry much about them because in life, as it is here on FR... Those I like I find I spend time with... Those I find of the 'mean' persuasion, I generally ignore or give a terse reply post to... And then forget them.
One nice thing about being older than dirt is I don't have to suffer fools anymore... And I don't!
Gadzooks! I love that word.
We all have our mean moments. I try to go through my day with a smile even when I feel like screaming.
1) I have used "Gad!" and "Gadzooks!" a lot during my lifetime in lieu of other more common and earthy terms, but I find it does truly express my hot blood!
And yes, I do have my own 'mean' moments. I've be a SOB at times in my life and most times it really wasn't necessary... But I never said I was perfect. Yet most of the time, I yam... No, not a typo, I yam what I yam...
2) So... You and Barney are the ones I want to occasionally beat the zooks out of!
My tagline is a tribute to Don Knotts.
You got a gripe with Fife? Take it up with the writers from the Andy Griffith Show. That is an actual quote.
If you have a problem with me...I'd like to know why as I don't recall ever posting anything mean to you. I admit being a smart ass, sarcastic, a bit rude...but not mean.
Perhaps you don't care for or understand my sense of humor?
Obviously, these folks live in the wrong part of the U.S.
Where I come from, the majority of women don't act mean to one another.
Please post picture of yourself in a thong.
ROFL!!
What? Are you trying to give us nightmares?
Another bitter man? Sigh. That's so sad.
You're not older than dirt...and I'm glad I'm no fool.
thank you, Bender2.
Gadzooks! 
It was my sense of humor that seemed to have missed the mark... Guess I need to drink more! Then it doesn't matter whether the steps are waxed or not...
Peacebaby, looks like I got hoof in mouth again, eh?
Correct, my dear Bender2! If you drink more, you can roll/slide/fall down those slippery waxed steps without even hurting yourself.
You are in good form this morning.
yes, bless his heart, handk is having a hard time dealing with life, it seems.
Perhaps he should just move to Europe.
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