[JAKraig]

This is really tough! The article has a lot of merit but it is hard to see in our "enlightened" day and time.

I was married for 26 years before we split. I decided to wait until the kids were adults so that I would not lose them. The kids think it would have been better to leave early. I kept thinking maybe there would be some way to pull it all back together and somehow get happy.

It takes two to tango!

While I think the odds for successful marriage are better than successful shack-up they are both fraught with peril. Society makes a happy marriage difficult. Nobody has to depend on anybody else for anything, the state provides all you need. If you don't like what your spouse does there is some civil servant to complain to, there is somebody that will take your side. You don't "have" to live with it, so often we don't.

In a good marriage there is no longer a "me and you" but a magical "us". Without the magical "us" no relationship can long survive.

I started dating about 2 years after my divorce, fell in love and have been happily married to the most wonderful woman in the world now for 10 years. She works so hard to make me happy that it makes me emotional. I want her to be happy and would sacrifice anything for her.

I think that her being more important to me than I am to me is the key to a successful relationship. Her life revolves around mine and mine around hers. Our society would probably say "sick" but we like it just fine.

[Gabz]

I think that her being more important to me than I am to me is the key to a successful relationship. Her life revolves around mine and mine around hers. Our society would probably say "sick" but we like it just fine.

This particular member of our society doesn't think it sick at all.......because that is the type of marriage I have as well.

[Aquinasfan]

In a good marriage there is no longer a "me and you" but a magical "us". Without the magical "us" no relationship can long survive.

That's true, but most importantly, God must be central to the relationship. Without God, spouses tend to semi-consciously expect the other spouse to be God or a god. This leads to disappointment and divorce.

[Diana in Wisconsin]

"I think that her being more important to me than I am to me is the key to a successful relationship."

That is an excellent way to look at it. More marriages would have a fighting chance if that reality dawned on people more often! :)