you are correct. I did not express my thoughts completely enough to be clear. let me try again
In the case where one party is being unreasonable, the courts will usually shaft the man. Even if the woman is the unreasonable one and when she broke the marriage. At least that's been the experience in my portion of the country and (from first hand reports here) in quite a few other areas as well.
This is not to say that every man who gets divorced gets shafted but it happens enough that men have grown very wary of marriage.
Well, I'd say men who marry and have children should not fear marriage, but a good healthy fear of divorce is good for both men and women to have. :~D
I don't buy that the man always gets shafted. It doesn't pass the smell test. It doesn't match what I've seen in friends. Is life just as good as it was before? No - not always, divorce isn't really good for families ever.
Again, John, the courts have traditionally awarded custody of children to the mother, with the father being granted visitation rights. It is nothing new.