Four Myths About Living Together Without Marriage

Human Events ^ | Mar 01, 2006 | Janice Shaw Crouse

[areafiftyone]

Nothing wrong with having different names. I grew up with a different name than my mom (long story there). But it never effected me because I grew up in a very loving family.

[null and void]

Mine's 17. It gets weirder...

[Antoninus]

I hope you never have to walk in someone else's shoes.

Who says I haven't?

[null and void]

Thank you!! I thought so too and it solved the being the "Blank" family. We are a family, just have different last names.

I would have gone with being Mr. & Mrs. Damm, and the whole Damm Family, but that's just me...

[linda_22003]

That's the second (at least) post on this thread using that phrase. A more germane question is, why would any woman want to be with a man who thinks of her as a cow?

[null and void]

Who says I haven't?

You attitude doesn't just say it, it gets right in one's face and SCREAMS it.

[null and void]

Something in the way he mooooooves her?

[Antoninus]

I wrote: So you'd be fine if your kids shacked up before getting married, then? Or if they didn't get married at all, but just "shacked up"? That's the example you're setting for them, you know.

You wrote: Yep, I'd be fine with it if it were their choice.

Ah, relativism. What if their "choice" was to shack-up with a scientologist? Or two, one of each sex? Still ok? At what point do your children's bad life decisions stop becoming ok?

Who is this 'everybody else' and why would they have a problem with it for me to have a 'to hell with them' attitude in the first place?

Uh, your kids. Did you ever ask them how they would feel if you and your live-in went ahead and made it official?

[Kaylee Frye]

If you live together instead of marrying, at least you keep the state out of your bank accounts when the deal goes bad.

Boy you must be a very negative thinker. So now, all marriages end in divorce?? Where is that statistic?

[Antoninus]

You attitude doesn't just say it, it gets right in one's face and SCREAMS it.

Yawn.

[Melas]

Ah. Well, I won't say anything other than that my kids at 12 and 13 enjoy a lot more freedom. They even occassionally walk the mile and a half to the mall.

[null and void]

HARumpf!!!

So you have questions about Scientology...

[null and void]

Just for you....

[sam_paine]

Which, if they had married before moving in, would mean divorce. Kinda hurts that point.

That does not follow. Two people, starting out in one case as 'cohabitators' and in another case starting out being married and not living with one another before have completely different environments and constraints for continued relationship.

Because 'cohabitators' bail out earlier does not imply that people that had previously 'committed' to marriage would have the same motivations.

[Antoninus]

So you have questions about Scientology...

I already read that thread! :-)

I guess that's why it was fresh in my mind when the idea of "really bad life decisions" came up.

[not2worry]

What if there are no kids and the wife was found screwing around with the town gigolo or if the wife is found to be a lesbian?

My husband has been an honorable father and supported his children throughout their lives.

Guess there is no such thing as a dead-beat Mom if she stays at home to raise the kids even if they are adults and continues to receive alimony. She's ENTITLED to some form of social security?

[null and void]

LOL! It wasn't that bad, as compared to marriage...

[null and void]

She's ENTITLED to some form of social security?

This would be bad because?

[antiRepublicrat]

That does not follow. Two people, starting out in one case as 'cohabitators' and in another case starting out being married and not living with one another before have completely different environments and constraints for continued relationship.

Which is the reason the 18-month divorce rate is lower than the 18-month rate of cohabitation splits.

Couples 1-100 decide to cohabitate. Couples 101-200 decide to get married and live together. At the end of the 18 months there will be several cohabitation splits and a few divorces. My point is that there would be a few fewer divorces on the record had they all been cohabitating.

The down side is of course that in the long run fewer people would be living together than if they'd all gotten married, but I am only disputing the logic in the second-to-last sentence of item #1.

[little jeremiah]

Good article.