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Four Myths About Living Together Without Marriage
Human Events ^ | Mar 01, 2006 | Janice Shaw Crouse

Posted on 03/01/2006 7:09:06 AM PST by ZGuy

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To: Melas
"The difference of just a decade winds up being just as substantial in the end as it did in the beginning. We're far too quick to look at the middle years, say 30-50 and come to the conclusion that it's a livable spread. The truth is that a 15 year spread winds up being just as nasty at 55 and 70 as it was at 25 and 10."

Exactly right. I so agree. It's something I didn't see that way (as above) until recent years, though I always advocated dating five years either way from my own age.

While I most prefer a five year difference, ten years is the absolute limit (I recently had the same thought as a result of these threads), you are so correct.

461 posted on 03/02/2006 2:21:57 PM PST by TAdams8591 (Small is the key!)
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To: TAdams8591
It is stealing their youth.

And companionship in their own old age. Maybe they'll get lucky and marry again after finishing the raising of the kids, alone... I realize we can all be widowed by accident or disease any time.... and I say that with full sympathy for anyone, especially John, who's lost a spouse. And May-December marriages can be good. I have a good friend of mine who married a man much older than herself, but they met by accident and decided to marry despite the age difference, they didn't seek it out. At 45, she's still happy, but he's inevitably failing... a little senility he'll argue about and deny, hard of hearing... He's becoming old. It's an unavoidably selfish thing to seek to marry someone you you can fully expect to leave alone for the last 15-20 years of their life.

462 posted on 03/02/2006 2:22:42 PM PST by HairOfTheDog (Hobbit Hole knives for soldiers! www.freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net)
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To: Cincinna

Agreed.


463 posted on 03/02/2006 2:24:38 PM PST by TAdams8591 (Small is the key!)
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To: HairOfTheDog
"And companionship in their own old age."

Good point.

464 posted on 03/02/2006 2:26:19 PM PST by TAdams8591 (Small is the key!)
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To: HairOfTheDog

Besides, who would want to be married to someone who doesn't know who Jack Wild was (or HR Pufnstuf, for that matter)?

My wife and I are 4 years apart, and even that gets in the way sometimes. She was disco, I was new wave. She was "The 70's", I was post-aids epidemic.

But 4 years is still something that can be overcome.


465 posted on 03/02/2006 2:29:25 PM PST by Warren_Piece (Smart is easy. Good is hard.)
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To: HairOfTheDog
"It's an unavoidably selfish thing to seek to marry someone you you can fully expect to leave alone for the last 15-20 years of their life."

Most agreed. It's selfish to steal their youth as well.

466 posted on 03/02/2006 2:29:51 PM PST by TAdams8591 (Small is the key!)
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To: Warren_Piece

My husband is 5 years younger than me...

I wonder if he remembers HR Pufnstuf :~D I haven't asked :~D


467 posted on 03/02/2006 2:32:08 PM PST by HairOfTheDog (Hobbit Hole knives for soldiers! www.freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net)
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To: HairOfTheDog

My wife is always going on about 'The Banana Splits'. To this day I have no idea what she's talking about :)


468 posted on 03/02/2006 2:34:26 PM PST by Warren_Piece (Smart is easy. Good is hard.)
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To: ZGuy

We're both over 55. I'm a widower, she's divorced. There are no minor children to worry about, we're both set financially and it's nobodies business but ours.


469 posted on 03/02/2006 2:34:51 PM PST by muir_redwoods (Free Sirhan Sirhan, after all, the bastard who killed Mary Jo Kopechne is walking around free)
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To: null and void

Bill is the guy we had fun with back in our Wild Child days, but if we were smart we never took him seriously.

I also think the saying from a few elections ago is true, that George Bush (pere) did not poll well with women because he reminded too many of them of their first husband. :)


470 posted on 03/02/2006 2:38:44 PM PST by linda_22003
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To: Warren_Piece

A group of coworkers I was in several years ago had one much younger member of the group. The same sort of remark was made in an article I had read; an older man who used to date much younger was explaining why he had gone back to women his own age - "You get tired of waking up in the morning next to someone who never heard of Adlai Stevenson."

Everyone laughed at this except the much younger woman, who looked blank. I said, "Adlai Stevenson!"

She got testy and replied, "All RIGHT. Who WAS she?"


471 posted on 03/02/2006 2:45:09 PM PST by linda_22003
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To: Melas
IMHO, and this isn't a hard and fast rule or anything, just an opinion, but 10 years is about the absolute limit for a healthy relationship.

*Shrug* I tried three days. It didn't work either...

472 posted on 03/02/2006 2:47:39 PM PST by null and void (I nominate Sept 11th: "National Moderate Muslim Day of Tacit Approval". - Mr. Rational, paraphrased)
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To: linda_22003
Bill is the guy we had fun with back in our Wild Child days, but if we were smart we never took him seriously.

Yet the Hildabeast married him...

473 posted on 03/02/2006 2:49:43 PM PST by null and void (I nominate Sept 11th: "National Moderate Muslim Day of Tacit Approval". - Mr. Rational, paraphrased)
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To: null and void

I've known LOTS of marital combinations among people I know that I couldn't begin to understand. Haven't you? :)


474 posted on 03/02/2006 2:54:21 PM PST by linda_22003
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To: linda_22003

~funny~ :~D


475 posted on 03/02/2006 2:54:25 PM PST by HairOfTheDog (Hobbit Hole knives for soldiers! www.freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net)
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To: ZGuy

Xena's Guy married me after seven years of living together.


476 posted on 03/02/2006 2:56:07 PM PST by Xenalyte (Numba one in tha hood, G!)
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To: linda_22003

Heck, I've even been in one!


477 posted on 03/02/2006 2:56:18 PM PST by null and void (I nominate Sept 11th: "National Moderate Muslim Day of Tacit Approval". - Mr. Rational, paraphrased)
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To: Lazamataz

Or as Xena's Guy says, "Why would I go out for milk when I have a cow at home?"


478 posted on 03/02/2006 2:56:59 PM PST by Xenalyte (Numba one in tha hood, G!)
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To: Xenalyte
Or as Xena's Guy says, "Why would I go out for milk when I have a cow at home?"

Because you like strawberry milk?

Or even chocolate?

479 posted on 03/02/2006 2:59:12 PM PST by Lazamataz (Islam is a fatal disease that must be eradicated from the body Earth.)
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To: Melas

One doesn't fall in love with an age, one falls in love with a human being with a soul.
Age is only important if you make it an issue.
My 94 year old neighbor passed away this year. She was a medical doctor and a painter. She left behind her husband of 27 years who is 62. He is a professor of music and a church organist. They were a happy devoted couple who had a beautiful life together.
BTW She lost her first husband when she was forty three...he was only 45 and he died,
Death and loss can occur at any age.
True love is eternal and does not fade with age.


480 posted on 03/02/2006 3:00:53 PM PST by Cincinna (The ARKANSAS GRIFTERS want to take over your country. STOP THEM NOW!)
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