Still have a ways to go. But we are showing some change in the tide. We didn't get this screwed up over night. Unfortunately, we may not get back there over night either.
Posted on 02/13/2006 8:50:39 AM PST by kiriath_jearim
Monday, February 13, 2006
Wife should talk with husband about fear of guns
By DR. JOYCE BROTHERS
SYNDICATED COLUMNIST
DEAR DR. BROTHERS: I recently moved to a new area of the country, in which it is very common for households to have a rifle or handgun for hunting or personal protection. I have never had any exposure to weapons at all and have always been very frightened of them. Yet around here, children are routinely taught to hunt, with a healthy respect for but no fear of guns. Anyway, my husband brought one home after I reluctantly agreed (we do have a problem with predatory wild animals at our new farm), but I find myself being very nervous about just having it. I would never want to use it. Is this strong a reaction normal? -- D.K.
DEAR D.K.: I would say that it is quite normal and even smart to be afraid of any dangerous weapon that could kill you or a member of your family. It could even make for a very unpleasant situation should the victim be a predator in your yard and you have to see it dispatched. There is almost no upside to having a gun if you aren't a gun lover, and you shouldn't have to live with this creepy feeling indefinitely.
That said, I think you need to sit down with your husband and discuss all this. He needs to be able to tell you how he feels about having -- and possibly using -- the gun. Did he buy the gun mainly to minimize discord in the new neighborhood -- in other words, to fit in? Does he have any background or training in gun use and gun safety? Was he ever in the military? And do you agree that you really need it? If so, take some lessons and do some skeet shooting so that you can gain some mastery and lessen your fears. Keep the gun locked up, of course, and keep that fear at a healthy level. After all, they are deadly. If you still feel terrified after taking these steps, I suggest that you surrender your weapon.
"Our vocalness needs to continue so that our government hears us, and those we vote for."
Yeah? And so...how's that working out for you, then?
BUMP!
No one here thinks otherwise.... But is mocking and ridiculing this woman over a very normal fear of the unknown ~furthering~ the cause of the 2nd ammendment, or making the 2nd ammendment look like the cause of mean spirited bullies and rednecks?
The advice she got was pretty good, coming from a psychologist.
This woman needs to be introduced to firearms safely and without ridicule, for her marriage, for her own peice of mind, and for the benefit of the image of all gun owners. It's EASY to change hearts and minds on guns. I've done it. Many times over. Not through ridicule, but through safe, positive instruction that understands the fear that comes from mere lack of exposure.
Dear Reader: I suggest your husband find a new wife.
However, if, after all that she still says "Either the guns go or I go" than he has a decision to make.
She advised her to first talk to her husband and then try it, before giving up. Or did you miss that part?
Still have a ways to go. But we are showing some change in the tide. We didn't get this screwed up over night. Unfortunately, we may not get back there over night either.
He certainly should have, and I hope when he does, he's a better heart than many on this thread.
Ironic, since orginally Nimrod, a great-grandson of Noah, was a mighty hunter in the Bible.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nimrod_%28king%29
In the Bible and in later legends, Nimrod (Hebrew נמרד Nimrod or Nimrōdh), son of Cush, son of Ham, son of Noah, was a Mesopotamian monarch and "a mighty hunter before the Lord". He is mentioned in the table of nations (Genesis 10), in the First Book of Chronicles, and in the Book of Micah. In the Bible he is an obscure figure; in later interpretations, as recorded by Josephus and the rabbis who compiled the midrash, he is the subject of innumerable legends. ...Most people were introduced to the term NIMROD in Bugs Bunny cartoons, wherein, Bugs refers to Elmer Fudd ironically as a "Nimrod". The association stuck and ever since Ninrod has meant a bungling, incompetent person to most people.
Whenever I'm engaged in an argument with an anti-gun liberal flake, I always point out that I could (if I wanted to for some strange reason) kill, maim or injur more people with a knife than with a gun. They're much quietier, easy to conceal and basically untraceable.
They just don't get it and never will until someone is breaking into their house to kill, maim or injur either their children or themselves. Let them call 911 and wait an hour for the cops (armed with guns) to come to their rescue.
However, while waiting the hour or more for the police to arrive, they could use that time to try and reason with the intruder. (sarcasm)
At my house, the call to 911 comes after the situation has been taken care of and the intruder has been dispatched...something like this..."Hello 911, an intruder tried to break into my home and I killed him with my legally owned gun...oh yeah, don't forget to bring the Coroner and a body bag.
Bury it in concrete until needed. Get some training which will help you overcome your fears.
--some years ago, the redoubtable Dr. Brothers' husband was listed as having a New Youk City pistol permit--along with quite a list of other celebrities--exposing her as a complete hypocrite as she has always been quite anti-firearms--
--aargh--"Youk"=York
This is an argument we can easily win if only we choose to make it.
That being said ... "HEY! DR. BROTHERS! YOU HAVE PIECE OF BROCOLLI STUCK IN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!" -Rosanne Rosanna Danna
I had read somewhere that the name Nimrod was re-cast to mean "a fool" by the Catholic church to discourage pagan worship of him.
I (and I suspect others) didn't take issue with all her advice. Talking to her husband who, presumably, would reasonably allay her fears is good advice. Telling her to get some practice, also good advice. But telling her that it is normal to have an irrational fear of guns (as opposed to a hundred other more dangerous items in and out of the home), suggesting that her husband bought the gun to "fit in", and ultimately saying it's ok for her fear to veto her husband are all extremely stupid.
There's nothing wrong with critizing people who give bad advice, even if it's due to an unintentional ignorant bias.
She wasn't really anti firearms in this answer! Along with the touchy feely stuff that represents how a psychologist would likely answer, the functional first steps were to talk to her husband (why didn't he talk to her?) and "take some lessons and do some skeet shooting so that you can gain some mastery and lessen your fears."
In your zeal to find the negative, you missed the positive... the only action steps she recommended were exactly what I would recommend.
The stuff about fitting in is stupid.... I agree. But in my experience, it is "normal" ie common among otherwise healthy people to have an "irrational fear of guns" if they've never been around them.
The irrational fear usually dissapates within 15 minutes of actual instruction and experience.
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