Posted on 02/08/2006 4:02:23 AM PST by LouAvul
My oldest sister, mother of four, once told me something that, when you think about it, makes a lot of sense. It doesn't stop you completely, but it may help:
The end result of worrying is having worried.
believe me if i could disconnect at least a few of the worry-wires in me, i would do it immediately!
Maybe that's part of the reason they became successful?
and i don't totally agree that the end result of worrying is having worried. worrying about your kids allows them to know they are loved and cherished. worrying about your kids allows you to think through decisions you make regarding their welfare and to help THEM make the proper decisions regarding their own welfare, when they are older. like i said, it is horribly sad for those children whose parents are so self absorbed and busy that they do not have the time or inclination to worry about them.
Ah - biology! This is why kids need both a mother and a father. In the early years, the kids absolutely must have the mother to protect them from the dangers of the world. Once the teenage years arrive, the kids absolutely must have a father to protect their aspiring spirits from the "protection" of their mother.
Every now and then, I have to step back and be amazed at the wonder of the Lord's design.
Great post. One night my daughter, then 18, was an hour late coming home from a day at the beach. Her cell phone was dead and I was only getting the machines on her friends' phones. I was pacing the floor, looking out the windows, literally freaking out. When she finally arrived, all I could do was hug her. She could feel me shaking and her eyes welled with tears. She knew right then just how worried I had been, and we've had no further instances of being late without a phone call.
my stomach knotted up just reading your post! i can worry FOR other parents! xsteen is 17 and has been driving less than 6 mo. on her own, and while i have worried about her driving, it has been on a steady sort of low level, i haven't had cause yet to freak. that is probably just a matter of time.
All that reaction because she was an HOUR late? Wow.
I'll spare you the details of my son's adventures. Suffice it to say: No, we never found his first vehicle, his grandmother forgave him for totaling hers, and his new truck should be out of the body shop by Friday. Lord help us.
my son is 14, i can only imagine what you have been through! i know that is waiting for me too!
Her brother made me do it. Please see post 69.
Well, there's your REAL problem - you had a boy! :)
And I worry about my daughter all the time, but that is the role that I've chosen for myself and I make no complaints. Even more than just 'a choice in my life', being 'Caroline's Dad' is one of the primary roles that define me and guide my actions and decisions in other areas. It helps connect me to my community in a thousand ways and I value all of them.
As much as any other thing it's 'who I am'.
bump
No, grandparents will tell you that grandkids are better because you get to spoil them and be the cool grandparent and then send them back home to their parents and not deal with the consequences of the spoiling.
parenting ping
Are they more likely to have "mental illness," or is their "mental illness" more likely to show up as depression?
First, a person with fewer responsibilities would seem to me to be less likely to seek help for mild depression. OK, so he doesn't go out and party for a few weekends in a row. Big deal. On the other hand, a parent has to be "on" 24/7, and if he can't, it seems natural to seek help as soon as possible.
Second, parents can't afford "coping mechanisms," whether obviously problemmatic (Drinking, sexual recklessness, pot) or less so (extreme sports, spontaneous vacation, clubbing).
>> Piano 5:30 - 5:00
Spanish tutor 5:25 - 6:00 <<
You think that's stressful for her, imagine the poor kid's stress... Playing piano for 11 1/2 hours a day while learning Spanish!
LOL, I read this already this morning. Kind of have to agree with it, even for parents whose kids grew up well. They are a constant worry, but they are a constant joy too.
Becky
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