Posted on 02/04/2006 1:02:15 PM PST by XR7
Researchers find it shocking that 11 percent of American girls between 15 and 19 claim to have same-sex encounters. Clearly theyve never observed the social rituals of the pansexual, bi-queer, metroflexible New York teen.Alair is wearing a tight white tank top cut off above the hem to show her midriff. Her black cargo pants graze the top of her combat boots, and her black leather belt is studded with metal chains that drape down at intervals across her hips. She has long blonde curls that at various times have been dyed green, blue, red, purple, and orange. (A mistake, she says. Even if you mean to dye your hair orange, its still a mistake.)
Despite the fact that shes fully clothed, she seems somehow exposed, her baby fat lingering in all the right places. Walking down the sterile, white halls of Stuyvesant High School, she creates a wave of attention. Shes not the most popular girl in school, but she is well known. People like me, she wrote in an instant message. Well, most of them.
Alair is headed for the section of the second-floor hallway where her friends gather every day during their free tenth period for the cuddle puddle, as she calls it. There are girls petting girls and girls petting guys and guys petting guys. She dives into the undulating heap of backpacks and blue jeans and emerges between her two best friends, Jane and Elle, whose names have been changed at their request. They are all 16, juniors at Stuyvesant. Alair slips into Janes lap, and Elle reclines next to them, watching, cat-eyed. All three have hooked up with each other. All three have hooked up with boyssometimes the same boys. But its not that theyre gay or bisexual, not exactly. Not always.
Their friend Nathan, a senior with John Lennon hair and glasses, is there with his guitar, strumming softly under the conversation. So many of the girls here are lesbian or have experimented or are confused, he says.
Ilia, another senior boy, frowns at Nathans use of labels. Its not lesbian or bisexual. Its just, whatever . . .
Since the school day is winding down, things in the hallway are starting to get rowdy. Jane disappears for a while and comes back carrying a pint-size girl over her shoulder. Now I take her off and we have gay sex! she says gleefully, as she parades back and forth in front of the cuddle puddle. And its awesome! The hijacked girl hangs limply, a smile creeping to her lips. Ilia has stuffed papers up the front of his shirt and prances around on tiptoe, batting his eyes and sticking out his chest. Elle is watching, enthralled, as two boys lock lips across the hall. Oh, my, she murmurs. Homoerotica. Theres nothing more exciting than watching two men make out. And everyone is talking to another girl in the puddle who just came out, meaning she announced that shes now open to sexual overtures from both boys and girls, which makes her a minor celebrity, for a little while.
When asked how many of her female friends have had same-sex experiences, Alair answers, All of them. Then she stops to think about it. All right, maybe 80 percent. At least 80 percent of them have experimented. And they still are. Its either to please a man, or to try it out, or just to be fun, or cause youre bored, or just cause you like it . . . whatever.
With teenagers there is always a fair amount of posturing when it comes to sex, a tendency to exaggerate or trivialize, innocence mixed with swagger. Its also true that the puddle is just one clique at Stuyvesant, and that Stuyvesant can hardly be considered a typical high school. It attracts the brightest public-school students in New York, and that may be an environment conducive to fewer sexual inhibitions. In our school, Elle says, people are getting a better education, so theyre more open-minded.
That said, the Stuyvesant cuddle puddle is emblematic of the changing landscape of high-school sexuality across the country. This past September, when the National Center for Health Statistics released its first survey in which teens were questioned about their sexual behavior, 11 percent of American girls polled in the 15-to-19 demographic claimed to have had same-sex encountersthe same percentage of all women ages 15 to 44 who reported same-sex experiences, even though the teenagers have much shorter sexual histories. It doesnt take a Stuyvesant education to see what this means: More girls are experimenting with each other, and theyre starting younger. And this is a conservative estimate, according to Ritch Savin-Williams, a professor of human development at Cornell who has been conducting research on same-sex-attracted adolescents for over twenty years. Depending on how you phrase the questions and how you define sex between women, he believes that its possible to get up to 20 percent of teenage girls...
LINK TO FULL STORY: http://www.nymetro.com/news/features/15589/
My next door neighbor (they are wonderful people) complained one time that she wasn't able to take their kids on 4 vacations that year (only 2 or 3)...I am working towards that day when I can indeed become a dad.<<<<<<<<<<
I'm glad my kids are grown, people have lost perspective today, what with parents spending thousands of dollars so a kid can go to a prom in big style. The best dance I ever went to, I borrowed a dress from a neighbor, who also did my hair, and half the fun was riding in the boyfriend's jalopy; who'd have dreamed (or cared) about hiring a limo?
You'll want the best for your kids when you have them, but the most important gift you can ever give them is loving their mom. After that, just use common sense and don't get suckered into giving them whatever they think they want, which us usually based upon what some other parent got suckered into buying. You'll make a great dad!
WOW!! What wonderful advice. I REALLY agree that one of the best gifts you can give them is to teach them to respect and to love their mom. My dad EXPECTED us to respect our mom. I finally learned that after a few sore backsides.
My parents are like yours--not flashy, but practical. I always got the corsage from a neighbor. I used my own car too. I also tricked girls into asking me--hehe.
Actually, my parents taught us to be thankful for what we had and taught us that no, we didn't always need to get what we wanted. Sometimes there were lean times, and my parents taught us to live within our means and to save money. We didn't go on big vacations--we went to relatives and to grandparents. We were never rich, but we never felt poor, even on a couple of times when my dad lost his job. We never had our own bedrooms (now it seems like at least here some people move if each child doesn't have his own bedroom).
My sister married a guy from a pretty well-to=do family. I think he is a wonderful guy, but there are some things that are different there. When they go back home, his mom insists that they have to do something each day, that they have to eat lunch with her each day, that they have to join her for "tea" each day, and so on. They also take off on a trip to a big cabin or something like that. My parents are the "visit and play games" type. It causes some friction when their time is monopolized by his mom (who is a nice lady mind you, just has a different style than my own parents).
I still believe there are many good parents out there and I make sure that I compliment as many as I can. I always say that if I ever get the chance to raise a child, that he or she will not be the most spoiled child, but will be the most loved. I will be on my knees thanking God every day if that time ever comes.
I really appreciate your advice. Learning from others is how I learn. I have the great opportunity to serve others' children as a teacher. I get blessed in many ways and am thankful for all the little miracles that I see and for the many things that the little ones and their parents teach me. This mom from last year is going around to other parents to get letters to nominate me for some award. Last year, she put a bunch of stories together from parents in a big notebook. I don't care whether or not I get it. I just really appreciate the parents for doing such a thing for me. It's worth more than gold to me (even if what they say is exaggerated--I'm really a bumbling idiot dumdum of a teacher). I hope to convey my appreciation in some way to them. I do love those kids and am always so thankful for the opportunity to help make a difference in the lives of some children (though I really don't think I have anything to do with some of the miracles I see).
Thank you for your comments. It's people like you who keep me going.:)
WOW!! What wonderful advice. I REALLY agree that one of the best gifts you can give them is to teach them to respect and to love their mom...<<<<<<<
What I meant was that the best gift you can give the kids is YOU loving their mom, and of course if would follow that they would be expected to treat her with love and respect as well. Congratulations on your nomination, that's quite an accomplishment!
Of course. My mom expects us to be "good" kids, nothing more, nothing less. She doesn't care that we're not the richest, nor do we have the biggest houses and cars, nor do we work at the most prestigious jobs (though all of us are successful at what we have chosen), she just wants us to turn out fine and to strive to put God first in our lives. So far, we all try to honor those expectations. The older I get, the "smarter" my mom becomes. :)
did you do a search before posting?
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1568927/posts
She's a sweet girl, got her masters degree in English Lit, and her teaching certificate, and she's a school teacher, and a darned good one. The sort you wish you got, because she went into teaching for all the right reasons: Because she loves teaching, children, and her subject (English). She's married, with a cute 7 year old girl, and living a great life. We've kept in touch all these years, even if we might not speak for a year or two at a time.
Mark
All studies agree it's about 1.5-2%. I don't know where they got the 11% figure for women between 14 and 50 or whatever it was. Maybe the mothers of the girls in the story.
They always inflate numbers to suit their goals. The 10% figure was always a conscious lie.
Actually, I did.
But it's nice to know that net Nazis will show up over month later to point out that there was a duplicate post.
Actually, I did. >>>
and you still posted the same article??
It is heart-breaking!
Don't be silly.
My search did not turn up anything.
That happens sometimes
Besides, why do you care, a month later?
Is there something in your life you are struggling with?
That is heartbreaking.
Is there something in your life you are struggling with?
>>
yes, redundant threads.
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