Posted on 02/03/2006 9:29:36 AM PST by MARKUSPRIME
Invisible lasers disintegrating radical islamics would be fun to watch. Their reaction would be Allah has spoken and is sending a clear message to us!1!!!!Allah FubaR!!!
Phrasers...do they talk the enemy to death?
Niven had some stories in which space ships defeated laser weapons by projecting mirror finishes, which then reflected the laser beam back to its source.
In the Tales Of Known Space Stories that included the Puppeteers, starting with Neutron Star, I think, the General Product's space ship hulls they sold were transparent to all wavelengths visible to any of the species that they sold to. Part of customizing the ships was to provide a way to block out wavelengths that would be dangerous given the purpose of the ship. He mentioned several different ways to protect from lasers, including mirroring. In Ringworld the solution was a stasis field. The laser weapon powered by an enduced solar flare was so massive that simple mirroring wouldn't have done any good. Also in Ringworld he had a battle where the human hero, Louis Wu, wasn't able to hurt his attacker for a while because the laser was tuned for green light and the attacker was wearing green clothing. Niven enshrined the wisdom of using a mirror to combat a laser in the second of his laws, which I have reproduced below. I'm particularly fond of 1a and 1b, 14, 15 and 16. I quote them often.
I got this from http://www.larryniven.org/stories/nivens_laws_2002.htm
This was most recently published in Analog November 2002, and is updated here with permission from Larry.
The original Niven's Laws is also available for comparison.
Special Feature: Niven's Laws, 2002
January 29, 2002
From time to time I publish this list; from time to time I update it. The most recent appearance, was in N-SPACE in 1989. In this version I took out laws that no longer look universal, and added a few insights.
To the best I've been able to tell in 26 years of observation, this is how the Universe works. I hope I didn't leave anything out.
1a) Never throw s**t at an armed man.
1b) Never stand next to someone who is throwing s**t at an armed man.You wouldn't think anyone would need to be told this. It dates from the Democratic National Convention of 1968.
2) Never fire a laser at a mirror.
3) Mother Nature doesn't care if you're having fun.You will not be stopped! There are things you can't do because you burn sugar with oxygen, or your bones aren't strong enough, or you're a mammal, or human. Funny chemicals may kill you slow or quick, or ruin your brain ... or prolong your life. You can't fly like an eagle, nor yet like Daedalus, but you can fly. You're the only earthly life-form that can even begin to deal with jet lag. You can cheat. Nature doesn't care, but don't get caught.
4) Giving up freedom for security has begun to look naive.Even to me. Many of you were ahead of me on this—Three out of four hijacked airplanes destroyed the World Trade Center and a piece of the Pentagon in 2001. How is it possible that those planes were taken using only five perps armed with knives? It was possible because all those hundreds of passengers had been carefully stripped of every possible weapon. We may want to reconsider this approach. It doesn't work in high schools either.
5) Psi and/or magical powers, if real, are nearly useless.Over the lifetime of the human species we would otherwise have done something with them.
6) It is easier to destroy than create.Bin Laden tore down the World Trade Center? Let's see him build one. If human beings didn't have a strong preference for creation, nothing would get built, ever.
7) Any damn fool can predict the past.Military men are notorious for this, and certain writers too.
8) History never repeats itself.
9) Ethics change with technology.
10) Anarchy is the least stable of social structures.It falls apart at a touch.
11) There is a time and place for tact.And there are times when tact is entirely misplaced.
12) The ways of being human are bounded but infinite.
13) When your life starts to look like a soap opera, it's time to change the channel.
14) The only universal message in science fiction: There exist minds that think as well as you do, but differently.
Niven's corollary: The gene-tampered turkey you're talking to isn't necessarily one of them.
15) Fuzzy Pink Niven's Law: Never waste calories.Potato chips, candy, whipped cream, or a hot fudge sundae may involve you, your dietician, your wardrobe, and other factors. But FP's Law implies: Don't eat soggy potato chips, or cheap candy, or fake whipped cream, or an inferior hot fudge sundae.
16) There is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it.To prove a point, one may seek out a foolish Socialist, thirteenth century Liberal, Scientologist, High Frontier advocate, Mensa member, science fiction fan, Jim Bakker acolyte, Christian, witch, or fanatical devotee of Special Interest Lib. It doesn't really reflect on the cause itself. Ad hominem argument saves time, but it's still a fallacy.
17) No technique works if it isn't used.If that sounds simplistic, look at some specifics: Telling friends about your diet won't make you thin. Buying a diet cookbook won't either. Even reading the recipes doesn't help. Knowing about Alcoholics Anonymous, looking up the phone number, or even jotting it down won't make you sober. Buying weights doesn't get you muscles. Signing a piece of paper doesn't cause a cease-fire, even if you make lots of copies and tell every anchorperson on Earth. Endlessly studying designs for spacecraft won't put anything in orbit.
18) Not responsible for advice not taken.
19) Think before you make the coward's choice. Old age is not for sissies.
20) Never let a waiter escape.What I'm urging on you here is manners: don't ignore the poor bastard while you hold him prisoner. Remember, he can do that to you later by withholding the bill.
I spent a long, drunken, weekend in the Con Suite at a Science Fiction convention where Niven and Pournelle were the guests of honor. It was actually my first con, but they were my two favorite authors and I had to go. They spent most of the time they weren't on panels in the Con Suite. I even got treated to Larry Niven's famous Irish Coffee. I had met Jerry Pournelle many times, starting in 1977, at computer conventions and he remembered me from that, so he included me in the circle of people around the two of them. Very much fun. That cemented my "fandom" connection to the two them, Niven in particular. That's the reason for my name here. What was particularly fun coming out of that weekend was the times I would see Jerry at computer events in the following years, certainly Comdex each year while it was still going on. He always remembered me but he never could remember what we had done together. Obviously being afraid that I would remember something inappropriate he warned me, every time "my wife is here, don't say anything." I always nodded, wisely, as if I remembered anything incriminating.
Not if Flash tags the spotter :-)
" i asked for sharks with laser beams, and all i get are mal-adjusted Sea-bass"
Highly effective weapons in the Elocution War.
It goes "ZOT" !!!!! like a giant bug zapper. Next thing we do is mount them on tripod war machines like in "War of the Worlds" and invade the Mid-East. It will terrify the living hell out of them.
we will start issuing phrasers
Highly effective weapons in the Elocution War.>>>>>>>>>>>>
And desperately needed by some on FR!
Yeah... But can this gigantic beeber be set to stune? That's what I wanna know.
We Must S.M.I.T.E. Our Enemies!
http://www.imao.us/archives/001608.html
AntiGuv, I'm getting sick of all this around-the-next-corner technology. It never is used.
What happened to the sound weapon that would shame the Muttslims by causing them to lose and loose their bowels?
Too un-PC? When will we use these weapons? After X-Tens of thousands American dead on American soil?
I have decided to wait before I go out and buy one of these. As with anything the price will drop in a couple of years and.........
Went to your blog. Fascinating place. I did pretty good on the timed test too. Keep those Klampers partying!
they both still do Cons occassionally, though I understand Niven doesn't do the Irish Coffee thing anymore. Comdex is long dead and I haven't seen Pournelle since 2000. I try to keep up with his web site, Chaos Manor ("the original blog") but it's not the same.
In March we have a con here in Memphis with David Weber as GOH. He has written, among other things, the Honor Harrington books. He also co-wrote one of the books I'm rereading now, 1633, with Eric Flint (a new volume comes out in April so I'm catching back up). The series is fun alternate history. A whole town of west Virginia coal miners from now get transplanted to the 1630s in Germany during the 30 years war (Cardinal Richeleu, Gustav Adolf, even throw in Oliver Cromwell along the way). "Hey Bubba, you got your 30-06 in your pickup?"
I haven't gone to a con in several years. I think I'm going to enjoy this one.
And I can't even own a machine gun?
Thanks, I try to keep it...interesting.
Cheers,
knewshound
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