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Posted on 01/23/2006 9:22:09 PM PST by Coleus
SHEBOYGAN FALLS, Wis. (Catholic Herald) – A little sign hangs on the wall of Delia McCoy’s kitchen in her Sheboygan Falls home. On it are the names of her four guardian angels: Michael Dean; Elizabeth Rose; Elijah James; and Emily Ray. The names are a comfort, but also a sad reminder of what could have been for the 43-year-old married mother of two sons.
They represent the three abortions and one miscarriage McCoy had while in her 20s. ”They are my guardian angels and I’m sorry I let them go too soon,” said McCoy in a telephone interview with the Catholic Herald, official newspaper of the Archdiocese of Milwaukee, her voice often breaking into tears. “I want to be their voice now; they are silent witnesses who give me strength.”
For the last three years, McCoy, a hospital housekeeper, has been telling her story in the hopes her experiences will steer other women away from abortion. Most recently, she spoke at the Rally For Life at Sheboygan High School on Jan. 14, and was scheduled to speak in Madison, Wis., as part of the “Silent No More Awareness Campaign,” where women who have had abortions share pain they’ve experienced in its aftermath.
”I wish somebody would have been there for me to tell me how much I would regret it,” said McCoy, adding she calls her speaking out “saving souls.” Raised in a small town in northern Wisconsin in a family with six children, McCoy described herself as having Catholic roots, but said she was baptized Methodist. Faith was not a big part of her family’s life.
Her one experience with abortion to that point involved a 16-year-old friend whose parents had helped her arrange for an abortion. ”I remember at the time, I told her I would not do that and I tried to talk her out of it. I considered myself pro-life at the time,” she said.
By age 20, McCoy had moved to Madison and was living with a man she thought she would marry. In June 1984, she said she accidentally became pregnant and believing her relationship was not stable enough to bring a child into it, she opted for abortion. She remembers thinking, “It can’t be that bad since (my friend’s) parents took her years earlier.”
She recalls little about the day of the abortion except she knows she went alone. She remembers the counselors at the clinic asking her some questions and reminding her she’d have plenty of other chances in life to be a mother. ”I really pushed it so far out of my mind because I think I did not want my life to change,” she said, adding she did not tell her boyfriend because “I did not want anything to come between us. We had a love, hate relationship but it was not stable enough to raise a child.”
As she entered the waiting room after the abortion, McCoy, who had been seven weeks pregnant, saw faces of other women and said, “I just wanted to get out of there. I knew what I did was wrong, but I felt I was backed into a corner and didn’t have a way out. I think my soul got left on the table that day.”
She told no one what she had done and tried to resume her normal life with her boyfriend, which she admitted included drinking and drugs. Their relationship collapsed within about six to eight months, said McCoy, explaining she now believes she took her anger over the abortion out on him.
”I started acting out. I was very angry at him because I felt he had not been there for me,” she said, noting that in a revengeful act, she started dating one of his best friends. That was just one in a line of bad relationships. ”I was obsessed with starting over. I wanted somebody to love me, but I could not make anybody happy because I hated myself,” she recalled. “Instead of going to God, I was looking for men to fill the void in my life.”
Over the next four years, she aborted two more babies. Drugs, drinking and partying continued to be a big part of her life. She knows the father of the baby paid for half of the second abortion and again, the relationship did not last. The father of the third baby told her he was sterile, so while McCoy was surprised to find herself pregnant, at nine weeks along, she chose the same path she had traveled twice. “I remember thinking, ‘I can’t do this again,’ but I still wanted the abortion.”
She knows for each abortion, she went alone and told no one, and suspects after each she went out and got drunk to erase the memories. In the early 1990s, McCoy found herself pregnant a fourth time, this time by a man with whom she was living. Because she was having doubts about the relationship, she again did not welcome the pregnancy and was relieved when she miscarried. She remembers the miscarriage happened on a beautiful, sunny Wisconsin day. Years later at a post-abortion retreat, when she was asked to name her lost children, she selected the name Emily Ray, for a ray of sunshine.
The miscarriage signaled the end of that relationship as well, and, this time, McCoy turned to a man she had met months earlier, a man she could not erase from her mind. This man, Robin McCoy, became her husband in 1992. While today, 14 years later, they are happily married and the parents to two sons, Pat, 10, and Nate, 7, life has not been all wedded bliss for the couple.
Early in their marriage, McCoy remembers uncontrollable bouts of crying that would often happen after a night of drinking. She wasn’t sure why she was crying, but she said her husband would listen, hold her and tell her they’d get through it together. Today, McCoy said she realizes her sadness stems from the abortions and the mixed up life she had lived.
The birth of their first son in 1995 was a happy time, but even then, when her Methodist pastor came to their home to pray over the new baby, McCoy said she started crying. ”They were tears of joy because I knew God had forgiven me, but I could not forgive myself,” she said.
Three years later she came to a turning point in her life. After a night of drinking, when her husband was sleeping, McCoy searched for the key to the family’s gun cabinet, contemplating suicide. ”I cried and I prayed and I told God how much I hated myself. I really felt alone,” she said. “I prayed, ‘I need help God – if you are really there’.”
She said, “It took God six months to get me sober,” but it wasn’t until about four years later that McCoy connected many of her emotional troubles to her abortions. At that point, active in a non-denominational church, she attended a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat, a retreat for post-abortion women fashioned after the Catholic Project Rachel retreats.
At the retreat, McCoy was asked to name her babies. She selected biblical names, even though at the time, she said she did not know their origin was from the Bible. At a second retreat, McCoy said she addressed her feelings of shame, something she had carried inside for many years. ”I wanted God to lift the shame, because I was tired of feeling all the shame,” she admitted. McCoy is a speaker at the annual retreats and said she is open and comfortable speaking with others about her past.
”It’s only by God’s grace that I can do this,” said McCoy, a member of Praise Fellowship in Sheboygan. ”I feel it’s what I’m meant to do.” Her message is also one of abstinence. “If somebody would have told me God had one wonderful man waiting for me, I would not have used sex as a weapon or as a tool,” she admitted.
”I guess everybody has to walk the walk and I believe things happen for a reason,” she said, adding, “If somebody would have come to me and told me I could have raised my children, and I could get help for my drinking, I definitely wouldn’t have had the abortions. If somebody would have reached out….”
She said she believes God has given her two more chances to be a mother. She said she wants to make the most of them and wants to steer others away from the mistakes she’ made.
Well she kept it totally secret from everyone, what did she expect.
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What an elegent mommy! That's a very nice picture.
Societal pressure is enormous. Almost all the information, medical people, government workers, etc, are pro-abortion.
She didn't even tell her boyfriend. Forget society, she hid this from everyone because she wanted the abortion but didn't want people to know because she knew then it was wrong.
”I wish somebody would have been there for me to tell me how much I would regret it,” said McCoy, adding she calls her speaking out “saving souls.” Raised in a small town in northern Wisconsin in a family with six children, McCoy described herself as having Catholic roots, but said she was baptized Methodist. Faith was not a big part of her family’s life.
Her one experience with abortion to that point involved a 16-year-old friend whose parents had helped her arrange for an abortion. ”I remember at the time, I told her I would not do that and I tried to talk her out of it. I considered myself pro-life at the time,” she said.
By age 20, McCoy had moved to Madison and was living with a man she thought she would marry. In June 1984, she said she accidentally became pregnant and believing her relationship was not stable enough to bring a child into it, she opted for abortion. She remembers thinking, “It can’t be that bad since (my friend’s) parents took her years earlier.”
She recalls little about the day of the abortion except she knows she went alone.She remembers the counselors at the clinic asking her some questions and reminding her she’d have plenty of other chances in life to be a mother.”I really pushed it so far out of my mind because I think I did not want my life to change,” she said, adding she did not tell her boyfriend because “I did not want anything to come between us. We had a love, hate relationship but it was not stable enough to raise a child.”
As she entered the waiting room after the abortion, McCoy, who had been seven weeks pregnant, saw faces of other women and said, “I just wanted to get out of there. I knew what I did was wrong, but I felt I was backed into a corner and didn’t have a way out.
”I started acting out. I was very angry at him because I felt he had not been there for me,” she said, noting that in a revengeful act, she started dating one of his best friends. That was just one in a line of bad relationships. ”I was obsessed with starting over. I wanted somebody to love me, but I could not make anybody happy because I hated myself,” she recalled. “Instead of going to God, I was looking for men to fill the void in my life.”
She knows for each abortion, she went alone and told no one
Today, McCoy said she realizes her sadness stems from the abortions and the mixed up life she had lived.
At the retreat, McCoy was asked to name her babies. She selected biblical names, even though at the time, she said she did not know their origin was from the Bible. At a second retreat, McCoy said she addressed her feelings of shame, something she had carried inside for many years. ”I wanted God to lift the shame, because I was tired of feeling all the shame,” she admitted. McCoy is a speaker at the annual retreats and said she is open and comfortable speaking with others about her past.
It’s only by God’s grace that I can do this,” said McCoy, a member of Praise Fellowship in Sheboygan. ”I feel it’s what I’m meant to do.” Her message is also one of abstinence. “If somebody would have told me God had one wonderful man waiting for me, I would not have used sex as a weapon or as a tool,” she admitted.
”I guess everybody has to walk the walk and I believe things happen for a reason,” she said, adding, “If somebody would have come to me and told me I could have raised my children, and I could get help for my drinking, I definitely wouldn’t have had the abortions. If somebody would have reached out….”
I read this as encouraging people to support unborn life. It is easy to criticize what a child has done. We know that many married couple abort to select the gender of a child. They are not making confessions so they are not being blamed. Likewise the lucrative abortion industry. Likewise, Fat Teddy and all his abused and abusive supporters.
Kids are stupid and impulsive, so they need guidance.
This is heartbreaking. My wife and I were only able to have two children. If we had aborted some, I would have a hard time going on.
Guardian Angels
Memorial
October 2nd
Pietro da Cortona
The Guardian Angel, 1656
Oil on canvas, 225 x 143 cm
Galleria Nazionale d'Arte Antica, Rome
Prayer:
Angel of God, my Guardian dear,
to whom His love commits me here,
ever this day be at my side,
to light and guard, to rule and guide, Amen.Latin:
Angele DeiÁngele Dei,
qui custos es mei,
me, tibi commíssum pietáte supérna,
illúmina, custódi,
rege et gubérna.
Amen.
History:
That every individual soul has a guardian angel has never been defined by the Church, and is, consequently, not an article of faith; but it is the "mind of the Church", as St. Jerome expressed it: "how great the dignity of the soul, since each one has from his birth an angel commissioned to guard it."In the Bible this doctrine is clearly discernible and its development is well marked. In Genesis 28-29, angels not only act as the executors of God's wrath against the cities of the plain, but they deliver Lot from danger; in Exodus 12-13, an angel is the appointed leader of the host of Israel, and in 32:34, God says to Moses: "my angel shall go before thee." At a much later period we have the story of Tobias, which might serve for a commentary on the words of Psalm 90:11: "For he hath given his angels charge over thee; to keep thee in all thy ways." (Cf. Psalm 33:8 and 34:5.) Lastly, in Daniel 10 angels are entrusted with the care of particular districts; one is called "prince of the kingdom of the Persians", and Michael is termed "one of the chief princes"; cf. Deuteronomy 32:8; and Ecclesiasticus 17:17.
This sums up the Old Testament doctrine on the point; it is clear that the Old Testament conceived of God's angels as His ministers who carried out his behests, and who were at times given special commissions, regarding men and mundane affairs. There is no special teaching; the doctrine is rather taken for granted than expressly laid down; cf. 2 Machabees 3:25; 10:29; 11:6; 15:23.
But in the New Testament the doctrine is stated with greater precision. Angels are everywhere the intermediaries between God and man; and Christ set a seal upon the Old Testament teaching: "See that you despise not one of these little ones: for I say to you, that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father who is in heaven." (Matthew 18:10). A twofold aspect of the doctrine is here put before us: even little children have guardian angels, and these same angels lose not the vision of God by the fact that they have a mission to fulfil on earth.
Without dwelling on the various passages in the New Testament where the doctrine of guardian angels is suggested, it may suffice to mention the angel who succoured Christ in the garden, and the angel who delivered St. Peter from prison. Hebrews 1:14 puts the doctrine in its clearest light: "Are they not all ministering spirits, sent to minister for them, who shall receive the inheritance of salvation?" This is the function of the guardian angels; they are to lead us, if we wish it, to the Kingdom of Heaven.
(Principal source - Catholic Encyclopedia - 1913 edition )
Collect:
God our Father,
in your loving providence
you send your holy angels to watch over us.
Hear our prayers,
defend us always by their protection
and let us share your life with them for ever.
We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever. Amen.First Reading: Exodus 23: 20-23
"Behold, I send an angel before you, to guard you on the way and to bring you to the place which I have prepared. Give heed to him and hearken to his voice, do not rebel against him, for he will not pardon your transgression; for my name is in him.
"But if you hearken attentively to his voice and do all that I say, then I will be an enemy to your enemies and an adversary to your adversaries.
"When my angel goes before you, and brings you in to the Amorites, and the Hittites, and the Perizzites, and the Canaanites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites, and I blot them out.Second Reading(places where it is a Solemnity): Revelation 12:7-12
Now war arose in heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon; and the dragon and his angels fought, but they were defeated and there was no longer any place for them in heaven. And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the Devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world--he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, "Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. Rejoice then, O heaven and you that dwell therein! But woe to you, O earth and sea, for the devil has come down to you in great wrath, because he knows that his time is short!"Gospel Reading: Matthew 18:1-5, 10
At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them, and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
"Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me.
"See that you do not despise one of these little ones; for I tell you that in heaven their angels always behold the face of my Father who is in heaven.
Related Article: The Church and the Holy Angels(Michaelmas 2007 Issue)
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