Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

'Impaler' sinks his teeth into governor's race (Vampire running for office)
Star Tribune ^ | January 12, 2005 | Dane Smith

Posted on 01/12/2006 7:05:01 AM PST by NYer

Looking for something really, really different in a political candidate this year?

Take a gander at Jonathon (The Impaler) Sharkey, who will launch his gubernatorial campaign in Princeton, Minn., on Friday the 13th as a "satanic dark priest" and the leader of the "Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party."

Since there's nothing but a $300 filing fee to stop anyone from running for statewide office, campaigns in Minnesota typically attract colorful and eccentric characters looking for attention. And of course, former Gov. Jesse Ventura broke the mold and got elected. But Minnesota may never have seen a more outside-the-box politician than the Impaler, also a former pro wrestler.

For starters, he describes himself as a "sanguinary vampyre ... just like you see in the movies and TV, I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor (at this time in my life, it is my wife, Julie), and drink their blood," he said in an e-mail.

The 13-point platform on his extensive website (www.jonathonforgovernor.us) offers a number of conventional policy initiatives, including emphasis on education, tax breaks for farmers and better benefits for veterans.

Quite some distance from the mainstream, however, is his pledge to execute -- by impalement in front of the State Capitol -- terrorists, rapists, drug dealers, child abusers, repeat drunken drivers and anybody who preys on the elderly.

(Excerpt) Read more at startribune.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Constitution/Conservatism; Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Government; News/Current Events; Philosophy; Politics/Elections; US: Minnesota
KEYWORDS:
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-33 last
To: SlowBoat407
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
21 posted on 01/12/2006 7:35:42 AM PST by lesser_satan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: NYer
>>Although he calls the "Christian God the Father" his "mortal enemy," Sharkey said he has nothing against Jesus Christ or his followers.<<

Oops! His first obvious lie. Like a fox saying he has nothing against chickens.

Muleteam1

22 posted on 01/12/2006 7:38:41 AM PST by Muleteam1
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

This gubernatorial race must be just a stepping stone. Being a parasitic blood sucker, he seems far more qualified for federal office.


23 posted on 01/12/2006 7:42:04 AM PST by Freebird Forever (If they're truly public servants, why do they live in the mansions?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: orionblamblam
And then there's this candidate.
24 posted on 01/12/2006 7:45:02 AM PST by Colonel_Flagg ("Defeatism may have its partisan uses but it is not justified by the facts.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Will he be the type to put teeth into the laws?

parsy, the anemic.


25 posted on 01/12/2006 7:55:35 AM PST by parsifal
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Will he be the type to put teeth into the laws?

parsy, the anemic.


26 posted on 01/12/2006 7:55:40 AM PST by parsifal
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

He would probably do well here in New York, the Vampire State...


27 posted on 01/12/2006 8:07:40 AM PST by mikrofon ("Tax Us Some More!")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


28 posted on 01/12/2006 9:11:57 AM PST by mikrofon ("Tax Us Some More!")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: NYer

What an effing loser.


29 posted on 01/12/2006 9:15:25 AM PST by KC_Conspirator
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: jjm2111

I'm sure he'll be endorsed by the ACLU then.


30 posted on 01/12/2006 10:48:50 AM PST by Barney Gumble (A liberal is someone too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel - Robert Frost)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: atomicpossum

c'mon now, it's a cloak,not a cape,dammit!


31 posted on 01/12/2006 1:16:04 PM PST by Rakkasan1 (Peace de Resistance! Viva la Paper towels!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Barney Gumble

nuthin' scarier than a law-and -order vampire.


32 posted on 01/12/2006 1:44:30 PM PST by Rakkasan1 (Peace de Resistance! Viva la Paper towels!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: NYer
Well, if they're up against a vampire wrestler, than the Pubs and Dems better select these guys as their candidates!:


33 posted on 01/13/2006 9:48:32 AM PST by RightWingAtheist ("Why thank you Mr.Obama, I'm proud to be a Darwinist!")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-33 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson