IF by Rudyard Kipling

http://www.swarthmore.edu/~apreset1/docs/if.html ^ | rudyard Kipoing

[Kimmers]

Thoughts worth sharing....

[pikachu]

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs

You probably need to check your voice mail. :-)

[DeaconRed]

Found my PERFECT Tag Line.
Thanks

[GSlob]

Tony Hendra did a parody:
IF
If you can keep your job when all your cronies
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can vote yourself a massive bonus,
Despite the quarter's plunging revenue;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting
To sink the knife exactly where it fits,
And being hated beat them all at hating,
And then downsize them all, the stupid sh*ts;

If you can dream of sex all through a meeting
With hot account execs from O & M,
But never give a hint, however fleeting,
Your mind's on anything but cpm's;
If you can slap and tickle without feeling,
Give new meaning to the phrase "a bottom line";
If you can reinforce that glassy ceiling
(And fire the silly ninnies when they whine);

If you can stop the whistleblower blowing
And make sure the bastard never works again;
If you can inside trade without showing
And when the feds call, neatly shift the blame;
If you can peddle the stuff that causes cancer
But know the art of making settlements;
If you can perjure smoothly when you answer
And have the court seal all your documents;

If you can sell your board stupendous hooey;
If you can sweet-talk Fortune magazine;
If you can screw - but never be the screwee;
If you can count the all-important bean;
If you can fill each ever-loving minute
With sixty seconds of concern for Number One,
The company is yours and all that's in it,
And - yes - you'll be the CEO, my son!

[meanie monster]

I love this poem! Thanks for posting it. Did you know the hard times this guy suffered?

[meanie monster]

lol

[Tom D.]

When my kids were younger, I required that they each memorize some worthwhile or funny work for each family gathering and then to recite to their uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc. This did not endear me to my kids or to some of the uncles or aunts, but the grandparents liked it and it taught my kids how to memorize stuff. When he was about 12 or 13, my son had to memorize this poem and I think that it has been somewhat important to him. He is 18 now and for the past couple of summers he has been a counselor at a pretty prestigious summer camp. One of the things that he recites to each group of his kids is If and they discuss it. There needs to be as lot more of Rudyard Kipling in our schools.

Thanks for reminding us of how good he is.

[UpToHere]

If wishes were horses tnen beggers would ride.

[meanie monster]

I wrote this poem in a card to a marine I babysat before he was sent to Iraq. I thought he was going to cry. LC M Lane we love you!

[UpToHere]

tnen = then

[MajorityOfOne]

"If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,"

I think I've found my new FR tagline.

[Sundog]

Thanks for reminding me how high the standards were for literary accomplishment a century ago.

It helps to keep a budding author in his place.

[Red Badger]

HE: Do you enjoy Kipling, my dear?

SHE: I don't know....I've never Kippled!..........

[webstersII]

"Did you know the hard times this guy suffered?"

Actually I don't. Can you fill us in?

[Sweet_Sunflower29]

I memorized this my Junior year of high school for English class.

A heartfelt 'thanks' to you, Mr. Brixey, for being a teacher who truly desired to teach. I'll never forget you!

[Krodg]

Are you sure Bush Sr. didn't write this?

[Conan the Librarian]

I carry it around in my wallet. We had to learn it in the 9th grade, and, then the teacher gave us a copy to keep. Now that I think about it, I have a copy on the wall in my office also.

[joesnuffy]

If you can keep your head when all those around you are losing theirs....

You've obviously misunderstood the situation...:)

[numberonepal]

Pops always told me "IF" is a word for children. And when I'd try to explain something with "IF" he'd say, "If a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his a$$ a hoppin'."

[meanie monster]

The beauty and elegance of 'If' contrasts starkly with Rudyard Kipling's largely tragic and unhappy life. He was starved of love and attention and sent away by his parents; beaten and abused by his foster mother; and a failure at a public school which sought to develop qualities that were completely alien to Kipling. In later life the deaths of two of his children also affected Kipling deeply.