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Cowboys Are My Weakness (Very funny Brokeback article- by Larry David)
New York Times ^ | 01-01-06 | Larry David

Posted on 01/03/2006 10:05:54 PM PST by emiller

SOMEBODY had to write this, and it might as well be me. I haven't seen "Brokeback Mountain," nor do I have any intention of seeing it. In fact, cowboys would have to lasso me, drag me into the theater and tie me to the seat, and even then I would make every effort to close my eyes and cover my ears.

And I love gay people. Hey, I've got gay acquaintances. Good acquaintances, who know they can call me anytime if they had my phone number. I'm for gay marriage, gay divorce, gay this and gay that. I just don't want to watch two straight men, alone on the prairie, fall in love and kiss and hug and hold hands and whatnot. That's all.

Is that so terrible? Does that mean I'm homophobic? And if I am, well, then that's too bad. Because you can call me any name you want, but I'm still not going to that movie.

To my surprise, I have some straight friends who've not only seen the movie but liked it. "One of the best love stories ever," one gushed. Another went on, "Oh

(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: brokeback; dallashomos; hollyweird; ick; moviereview; notthatfunny
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(In my best deep-register movie announcer voice)-- They dared to share their love... on the Brokeback...
1 posted on 01/03/2006 10:05:55 PM PST by emiller
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To: emiller

If it were a Lolita flick, however..THEN he would see it.


2 posted on 01/03/2006 10:08:57 PM PST by Windsong (Jesus Saves, but Buddha makes incremental backups)
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To: emiller

Bareback...because if you use a rubber, you`re kow-towing to the homophobes...


3 posted on 01/03/2006 10:09:08 PM PST by Alien Gunfighter (Socialist liberals never imagine themselves as peasants under their 'perfect' socialist regime)
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To: emiller

This reads in the voice of George Costanza.


4 posted on 01/03/2006 10:13:39 PM PST by Atlas Sneezed (Your FRiendly FReeper Patent Attorney)
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To: emiller

A local "minister" referred to the movie as a "story about sacred love." Excuse me, sacred love, not hardly.


5 posted on 01/03/2006 10:21:16 PM PST by zerosix (Native Sunflower)
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To: Beelzebubba

"Not that there's anything wrong with it!"


6 posted on 01/03/2006 10:22:17 PM PST by sheik yerbouty ( Make America and the world a jihad free zone!)
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To: emiller
*movie announcer voice* In a world where....

Larry David's one of the biggest lib Bush haters going.

7 posted on 01/03/2006 10:23:38 PM PST by doesnt suffer fools gladly (Happy New Year!)
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To: emiller
From Seinfeld, Episode 18, "The Note" (written by Larry David, of course):

[Closing monologue]

JERRY: What causes homophobia? What is it, that makes a heterosexual man, worry? I think it's because, men know, that deep down we have weak sales resistance. We're constantly buying shoes that hurt us, pants that don't fit right. Men think, "Obviously I can be talked into anything. What if I accidentally wander into some sort of homosexual store, thinking it's a shoe store, and the salesman goes, 'Just hold this guy's hand, walk around the store a little bit, see how you feel. No obligation, no pressure, just try it. Would you like to see him in a sandal?'"


8 posted on 01/03/2006 10:23:44 PM PST by snarks_when_bored
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To: emiller

At the moment, I cannot think of a less appealing concept for a movie than a love story about gay cowboys.


9 posted on 01/03/2006 10:24:57 PM PST by Huntress (Possession really is nine tenths of the law.)
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To: emiller
In fact, cowboys would have to lasso me, drag me into the theater and tie me to the seat...

...and thpank me...

10 posted on 01/03/2006 10:27:43 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: sheik yerbouty

Love your screen name, sheik.


11 posted on 01/03/2006 10:28:00 PM PST by Huntress (Possession really is nine tenths of the law.)
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To: emiller

This is an abomination and wholely damages the normal relations between men. Men have a hard enough time showing affection with each other, now with the emphasis on sex between them in movies and news, any man would be liar to say he is not affected negatively. It is not unlike the distance we have to put between ourselves and young children, so as not to be accused of molesting. When driving down the road, who among those reading this have not seen two young girls holding hands and first had the thought? I remember my mom dancing with her sisters in the living room and laughing their heads off. I heard stories of women dancing with each other in droves "back in the day" without having sex. I for one am tired of this propaganda war, and have only one statement to make; grow up and get out of my face! A little dignity and self respect would be nice.


12 posted on 01/03/2006 10:28:50 PM PST by jeremiah (People wake up, the water is getting hot)
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To: snarks_when_bored
The "Beloved Aunt" episode of David's HBO show "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is one of the funniest bits of comedy I've ever seen.
13 posted on 01/03/2006 10:29:04 PM PST by zarf (The BCS sucks.)
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To: emiller

Let Hollyweird make a movie about straight interior decorators, and see how many poofters go watch it.


14 posted on 01/03/2006 10:32:33 PM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: zarf

I've only seen a few episodes of "Curb Your Enthusiasm", but enjoyed them. Larry David is a comic genius, no question about that. He was on David Steinberg's TV Land show, "Sit Down Comedy", last week. Good fun.


15 posted on 01/03/2006 10:32:34 PM PST by snarks_when_bored
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To: Huntress

And Hollywood wonders why they are in a slump...


16 posted on 01/03/2006 10:38:54 PM PST by Ronin (When the fox gnaws.... SMILE!!!)
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To: emiller

A movie about a couple of queer democRATS riding around a mountain? Nah, never sell.


17 posted on 01/03/2006 10:39:03 PM PST by Waco
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To: snarks_when_bored

I think Larry David's funny, but my wife can't stand him. In fact, cowboys would have to lasso her, drag her into the theater and tie her to the seat, and even then she would make every effort to close her eyes and cover her ears.


18 posted on 01/03/2006 10:42:10 PM PST by claudiustg (Go Bush! Go Sharon!)
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To: martin_fierro

That's rich!


19 posted on 01/03/2006 10:44:55 PM PST by Nasty McPhilthy (Those who beat their swords into plow shears….will plow for those who don’t.)
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To: Huntress

I'm fond of yours as well. I worked on a show by that name a few years back..


20 posted on 01/03/2006 10:45:44 PM PST by sheik yerbouty ( Make America and the world a jihad free zone!)
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