Posted on 12/23/2005 10:07:40 AM PST by TexasGreg
Grinchy remark sends kids home in tears By RORY SCHULER Staff Writer Lebanon Daily News
LICKDALE — Jamey Schaeffer stretched her mouth open wide, showing off a pair of twin gaps in her smile. With a mouthful of fingers, she said she has no interest in two front teeth for Christmas. Instead, she’d like a Barbie doll from Santa Claus — and Santa Claus only.
But a substitute music teacher almost came between the 6-year-old and a Christmas Eve spent dancing cheek to cheek with sugar plums.
Theresa Farrisi stood in for Schaeffer’s regular music teacher one day last week. One of her assignments was to read Clement C. Moore’s famous poem, “A Visit from Saint Nicholas” to a first-grade class at Lickdale Elementary School.
“The poem has great literary value, but it goes against my conscience to teach something which I know to be false to children, who are impressionable,” said Farrisi, 43, of Myerstown. “It’s a story. I taught it as a story. There’s no real person called Santa Claus living at the North Pole.”
Farrisi doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, and she doesn’t think anyone else should, either. She made her feelings clear to the classroom full of 6- and 7-year-olds, some of whom went home crying.
Schaeffer got off the school bus later that day, dragging her backpack in the mud, tears in her angry little eyes.
“She yelled at me, ‘Why did you lie?’” recalled Jamey’s mother, Elizabeth. “‘Why didn’t you tell me Santa Claus died?’”
Elizabeth Schaeffer said she was appalled by Farrisi’s bluntness.
“I had to call the school,” said Schaeffer, a part-time custodial employee for the school district who is on temporary leave after complications from her last child’s birth. “I had to do something.”
Meanwhile, Farrisi, who is well versed on the history of “Santa Claus” — the traditional and literary figure — clarified her comments.
“I did not tell the students Santa Claus was dead,” she explained. “I said there was a man named Nickolas of Myrna who died in 343 A.D., upon whom the Santa Claus myth (is based).”
On Monday night, Jamey started to recite Moore’s famous poem while sitting on a couch next to a freshly cut tree, trimmed in tinsel and topped with a golden star: “’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house. No creatures stirred.”
She paused, looked up, and said that’s when the teacher interjected, just a few lines before the verse that announces the arrival of “a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.”
“The teacher stopped reading and told us no one comes down the chimney,” Jamey said, curling into a ball on the couch, bracing her chin on her knees, her voice shrinking away like melting ice cream. “She said our parents buy the presents, not Santa.”
Sharing in the belief of Santa Claus is a very special event in the Schaeffer home. Jamey’s the second youngest of five children. The three oldest have already grown up and left the family nest. Only Jamey and her 18-month-old sister, Amanda, remain.
Last year, Elizabeth Schaeffer recalled, Santa left a trail of boot prints in charred ashes from his feet-first landing in the fireplace. And this year, the family will continue their tradition of leaving him a plate of cookies, a tall glass of milk and a ripe, shaved carrot for Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.
The Schaeffer family wasn’t the only one taken aback by Farrisi’s approach to Santa.
Tim and Beth Rittle said they found their 7-year-old daughter, Holly, in tears in the back seat of their car after they picked her up from school that day.
“All of a sudden, Holly just started crying,” Beth Rittle said. “She said she had a substitute in music class, and she told the class there’s no such thing as Santa Claus.”
Schaeffer and Rittle both called Northern Lebanon School District Superintendent Don L. Bell.
Since the issue involves personnel, Bell said Monday, there is little he can say about the incident, adding that it has not been determined if any disciplinary action is warranted against Farrisi.
Bell said he was aware that several parents have expressed concerns about the incident.
He also noted that the handling of Santa Claus isn’t covered in the school code.
“We do not have a Santa Claus policy,” he said. “It’s unfortunate, but I really can’t say anything about it.”
Farrisi said she considered approaching the school’s administration with her concerns about how to handle Santa Claus in class. Instead, she said, she decided to add a disclaimer to her lesson.
“Those same children are going to know someday that what their parents taught them is false,” she ex-plained. “There is no Santa Claus.”
Meanwhile, Elizabeth Schaeffer was carefully thinking about her next step. She decided to make a photocopy of editor Francis P. Church’s famous response to a little girl, who wrote to The New York Sun many decades ago, asking the same question Schaeffer’s daughter struggled with last week.
“I mailed (Farrisi) a copy of ‘Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus,’” she said, giggling with satisfaction. “I wish I could be there when she opens it.”
As for Jamey, in an attempt to reaffirm her spot on Santa’s nice list, she drew up a new letter in bright red magic marker, a message destined for the Santa she refuses to abandon.
“Dear Santa ... How is the North Pole?” she said, reading her letter loudly and proudly. “How is Mrs. Claus? You are Great. From Jamey.”
It teaches their children about keeping secrets, not intentionally making some one else sad and how it's none of their business to enlighten others because their business ends at the end of their nose. Something I wish every person would learn. One of the best lessons I was taught as a kid, was " keep you nose out of other peoples business or it might get punched. " Too bad this substitute teacher didn't learn that. Her job was to teach music. Other than that it was none of her business.
I do think, however, that being honest (while also seeking to maintain -- and even emphasize -- the spirit of Christmas rather than just slap it down like this grinch-lady did) sends a message to our kids:
Your parents really are honest with you. You can trust what they say.
And you've brought to mind a point that I don't think anybody has covered here. People have talked about the delight of believing in a mystical Santa Claus who flies from the north pole with reindeer to deliver presents to good children. That delight is real and undeniable.
But how many kids also remember the disappointment of finding out that it wasn't really true?
So it's not just a one-edged sword. It's two-edged. The delight eventually turns (no matter whether or not it's a big disappointment) to disappointment.
I don't expect everyone to do things our way. But I do feel that our way is a good way, and it's right for us. And I don't think any of our kids feel the slightest bit deprived. And I have every confidence that they would laugh at the notion they've been deprived, and say the same.
Golly, Texas Mom. That's straightforward and darned eloquent. I wish I'd said it that way.
Someday, far in the future at this point, I'd like to run for some kind of office. Can I hire you to write my speeches? ;-)
LOL! If I'm still around I'll work for you. Just a Mom and Grandma who has gone through this twice with two generations and I do hope I have acquired some common sense over the years.
Clue x 4: FR is not Wikipedia
What is it with Music teachers?
Kids have zero problem with make believe that is identified as such. Santa is a fun PRETEND game.
BTW, our approach to how we deal with the Santa Claus story in our family culture has nothing to do with "the war on Christmas." We're all in favor of Christmas, and entirely not in favor of "Happy Holidays."
I'm quoting Godwin's Law; take it up with him.
So you are saying that you have NEVER under any circumstances told a lie -- an untruth -- a little white lie -- however you would characterize it to your children? Ever?
I call BS on that.
The only thing worse than a bike was the Star Wars airplane.
Oh, and that little metal stove and refrigerator we all had when we were growing up. :-)
Congratulations; you're the first person on this thread to connect the dots. (That I saw anyway.)
Noticed that as well....liberal arts, I reckon.
We didn't have secrets at our house; we had "family talk," wherein things inside our family weren't shared with outsiders. And I do mean day to day personal stuff.
She best be glad my child wasn't in that classroom that day.
No, she doesn't. She asked if he was real simply from confusion. Everyone was talking about Santa as if he was real and she just wanted to make sure.
I actually know a woman who thought Santa was real for many years after her marriage. Her husband thought it was funny so he always bought the gifts and hid them from her.
This chick doesn't even have her facts right. St. Nicholas was the Bishop of MYRA, which is why he's pictured in a long robe wearing a Bishop's Mitre (cap).
This incident proves that this woman has no business teaching little children, if she cannot indulge in a little bit of fantasy for their sakes.
Whatta hag!
Merry Christmas!
Clue x 4: Study HTML better.
I didn't say you were Jewish or that you were celebrating Hanukkah.
I merely pointed out that your kids are dodging, which, in itself is a little white lie.
I certainly hope you are aware that Santa does come to some Jewish children's homes. And, yes, those that have a Menorah.
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