Posted on 12/22/2005 8:37:43 AM PST by Sonny M
DEAR ABBY: Several of my friends and I were bemoaning our status as single women in our late 20s/early 30s, and discussing an article we had read in The New York Times about how smart women are less likely to get married. We'd all like to find Mr. Wonderful and be married. But if we have to curtail our professional success, financial wherewithal and IQ to do it, how can a person even begin to do such a thing?
I have a feeling you'll say to be ourselves and it will all work out, but thus far it has NOT worked out, and we're starting to worry. Personally, I think we'd be better off to take jobs as "administrators" in a large company somewhere and hope for the best.
Help, Abby! What's the answer for smart, fun women who have their acts together? How can we best poise ourselves to find true love while being true to ourselves? -- LOSING FAITH IN FINDING MR. RIGHT
DEAR LOSING FAITH: The truth is, there are no guarantees that ANYONE (male or female) will land a mate. It isn't easy these days because people are commitment-phobic. And this applies to individuals at all economic and educational levels, not just you at the top. Pairing off is often a matter of luck and timing -- being in the right place at the right time.
Eligible members of both sexes can be found in places of common interest -- places that are intellectually rewarding, culturally stimulating, athletically challenging or financially advantageous. As to whether you should downgrade your job level in order to appear less "threatening," I guarantee that if you don't take financial care of yourselves while you can, you will regret it later. To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, you could fool some of the bachelors some of the time, but you couldn't fool all of them all of the time.
There are worse things than not finding Prince Charming, and one of them is spending your life pretending to be something you're not. So my advice is to stop reading defeatist newspaper and magazine articles. They'll only make you desperate, clingy and depressed -- and none of those traits is attractive to either sex.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently had a baby. We chose a mature, Christian couple to be our child's godparents. However, my brother-in-law is infuriated over the fact that he's not the godparent. He has disowned my husband and wants nothing to do with us. Behavior such as this in the past is part of the reason he wasn't chosen. However, I need to know this: Did we have an obligation to choose him as a godparent? How should we handle his immaturity and controlling behavior? -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN OHIO
DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: A godparent can either be a relative or a close friend, and you were not obligated to choose one over the other. Your brother-in-law may be hurt that he wasn't chosen, but his subsequent behavior has been so childish that it's apparent you made the right decision. The way to handle his immature and controlling behavior is to forgive him for it, and go on with your lives.
CONFIDENTIAL TO EDWARD PHILLIPS IN MINNEAPOLIS: Happy Birthday, baby brother! I hope you're enjoying your special day.
I was hoping that someone would post that.
(Thisis getting to be a good thread.)
they confuse being educated with being smart.
But, but... I thought rats were the smartest people in the world! Why doesn't Maureen and her spinster pals just go over to DU? They could have the pick of the DUmmy litter; i.e., smelly food stamp gettin', Che t-shirt wearin', pot-smokin' losers who at least get out of bed before noon. There ought to be a few of them anyway.
Just guessing, but maybe what she's really complaining about is not being able to sucker a hard-working conservative into marrying her -- so she can divorce him and take his house!
I haven't read the rest of the thread but before I do, I'll tell you that's the best story about Hildebeast I ever heard...
And I am one of them. I am not saying it is a good thing. I am just saying it is the wave of the future. I think there is nothing sillier than a 35-year-old man who doesn't want to settle down, but they are out there in abundance.
I finally decided to go back and respond to this post. It sounds more like a pent-up rant against your own wife than advice that applies to any women I know. I don't know anyone who watches Oprah, and I've got my own power tools, and I know how to use them. :~D
As there are women who are doing the same thing... and they're aging together. I don't know any 20 year old girls looking to the greying set. I don't see that as the wave of the future... they're beating themselves up trying to figure out the young men who don't treat them very well and both sides are collecting a bunch of baggage to tote around with them until they do finally settle down.
Answer: You've already stated that (1) you're smart and (2) have a high IQ, so figure it out for yourself.
I spent most of the afternoon with a "smart" executive woman who was full of herself, opinionated and garrulous. She's not married.
I think there is nothing sillier than a 35-year-old man who doesn't want to settle down.
The Americans have a phrase too, "butterface".
James Watson (the "other guy") and Francis Crick received the Nobel Prize in 1962, along with Maurice Wilkins. Rosalind Franklin died in 1958. The Nobel Prize is not usually awarded posthumously. Had she lived, she could easily have shared the prize.
Franklin's contribution to the solution was extremely well known long before the prize was awarded. She even published an article in the same issue of Nature that carried Watson & Crick's original announcement of the discovery.
bump
Plus, she always looks like she just sucked a lemon!
lol...I love it, AAC. That says it all.
First of all you're not, you aren't and you don't. You just think you do!
Second of all, when you join those websites like Match.com or something, you selectively filter out those who do not look like Niko, or Fabio or some other homo-hunk who claims to have an annual salary of 75K+ and enjoys "boating". Then after you meet him on your first date, screw him on your second date without ever seeing his boat and never hear from him again, you still think you are smart, fun and have your act together.
FWIW, you consciously filtered me out when I have been gainfully employed for 34 years, have my own house and my own retirement plan. You may be beautiful but if you can't match that then don't bother contacting me.......
"...yea, she may be ugly but she sure can cook".
My my... going to project a couple bad dates and a lack of action on Match.com on every girl you meet, or just this one?
My 42 year old son has searched and searched and keeps finding nothing but demanding, insufferable losers who are spoiled rotten and clueless as to what makes a good wife. Many of them are "career women" who have been heavily into sex, drugs and alcohol and look it. Several over 35 are also divorcees with small kids and all they want is a sucker with a paycheck. He has essentially given up looking.
"discussing an article we had read in The New York Times about how smart women are less likely to get married "
Well - if it was in the NYT it must be true....
Neither, just pointing out the facts to the gal who thinks she is Smart, Fun, has her act together and still is wondering "why".........If she was truly all of the above, she wouldn't be wondering.
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