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SEVEN CONGRESSMEN ARE ZOMBIES!
Weekly World News ^
| Unknown Publish Date
| Author Unknown
Posted on 12/19/2005 8:32:26 AM PST by Lazamataz
At least seven U.S. congressmen are boot-licking zombies controlled by Haiti's supersecret AIH intelligence agency, but here's the clincher:
Nobody can figure out who they are because the living dead -- with their shuffling gait, wrinkled skin and glassy stares -- are indistinguishable from all the senior-citizen politicians on Capitol Hill.
So says the FBI in a frightening internal report that suggests the House of Representatives "could become a nest of zombies within the next 10 years . . . and the American public would be none the wiser."
"It's a serious situation with national security implications that do not bode well for our future as a free nation," says a senior FBI official who leaked portions of the report to journalists in Washington.
"By definition, zombies have limited mental faculties, no emotion, no free will, and they are only able to function at the behest of voodoo priests who control their every move.
To read more of Seven Congressmen Are Zombies, pick up the current Newsstand Issue on sale now!
TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: omg; runforyourlives; zombies
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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1
posted on
12/19/2005 8:32:27 AM PST
by
Lazamataz
To: Lazamataz
2
posted on
12/19/2005 8:33:20 AM PST
by
BenLurkin
(O beautiful for patriot dream - that sees beyond the years)
To: Lazamataz
3
posted on
12/19/2005 8:33:43 AM PST
by
AbeKrieger
(Islam is the virus that causes al-Qaeda.)
To: Lazamataz
Found one.
4
posted on
12/19/2005 8:34:25 AM PST
by
oldleft
To: Lazamataz
...suggests the House of Representatives "could become a nest of zombies within the next 10 years"...
----
COULD become???
5
posted on
12/19/2005 8:34:35 AM PST
by
EagleUSA
To: Lazamataz
Name them! Tell us! (like we don't already know)
6
posted on
12/19/2005 8:34:35 AM PST
by
netmilsmom
(God blessed me with a wonderful husband.)
To: BenLurkin
> Only seven?
There are several dozen nosferatu as well.
7
posted on
12/19/2005 8:34:36 AM PST
by
orionblamblam
(A furore Normannorum libra nos, Domine)
To: Lazamataz
Nobody can figure out who they are because the living dead -- with their shuffling gait, wrinkled skin and glassy stares -- are indistinguishable from all the senior-citizen politicians on Capitol Hill.How true! I can name quite a few more than 7 that fit the description.
8
posted on
12/19/2005 8:35:08 AM PST
by
kayak
(Praying for MozartLover's son, all our military, and our President every day!)
To: Lazamataz
I think they're off by a factor of 40 - there's at least 280 zombies on Capitol Hill.
9
posted on
12/19/2005 8:35:08 AM PST
by
steveegg
(Take two - throw those long knives at the DemonRATs and lieberals - and include the RINOs)
To: oldleft
zombies have limited mental faculties, no emotion, no free will, and they are only able to function at the behest of voodoo priests who control their every move. Voodoo priests = Black Caucus.
10
posted on
12/19/2005 8:35:24 AM PST
by
AbeKrieger
(Islam is the virus that causes al-Qaeda.)
To: Lazamataz; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; SandyInSeattle; Darksheare; tiamat; ...
If they're looking for brains in Congress, the poor bastards are probably starving.
To: Xenalyte; Dane; Jersey Republican Biker Chick; cjshapi
12
posted on
12/19/2005 8:36:07 AM PST
by
Lazamataz
("Over it is not, until over it is." -- Yoda Berra)
To: Lazamataz
with their shuffling gait, wrinkled skin and glassy stares Ah-HA! I knew Nancy Pelosi got that botox treatment for a reason...
13
posted on
12/19/2005 8:36:23 AM PST
by
TheBigB
("Hey, barkeep, whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?"--Brian Griffin)
Comment #14 Removed by Moderator
To: Bacon Man; Hap; humblegunner; Allegra
Headline of the Week ping!
15
posted on
12/19/2005 8:36:40 AM PST
by
Xenalyte
(Tom Cruise is in my closet and he won't come out.)
To: Lazamataz
At least seven U.S. congressmen are boot-licking zombies controlled by Haiti's supersecret AIH intelligence agency... Perhaps they should look for congressmen licking boots. Most of them are so busy kissing butt that some licking boots might stand out.
16
posted on
12/19/2005 8:36:43 AM PST
by
highlander_UW
(I don't know what my future holds, but I know Who holds my future)
To: oldleft
That's not a zombie - that's a gorgon.
To: Lazamataz
I am laughing so hard, I'm about to start tearing up. This is a riot!
18
posted on
12/19/2005 8:37:01 AM PST
by
Xenalyte
(Tom Cruise is in my closet and he won't come out.)
To: Lazamataz
19
posted on
12/19/2005 8:37:09 AM PST
by
byteback
To: oldleft
Please do not confuse zombie with nitwit. Your post is an insult to zombies everywhere.
20
posted on
12/19/2005 8:37:20 AM PST
by
Casloy
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