Posted on 12/15/2005 5:25:15 PM PST by mek1959
Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Democrat's Answer:
- Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
- Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
- Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
- Could we run away?
- What does my wife think?
- What about the kids?
- Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
- What does the law say about this situation?
- Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
- Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
- Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
- Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
- If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
- Should I call 9-1-1?
- Why is this street so deserted?
- We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
- This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
- I could shoot in the air and maybe scare him off but that may be interpreted as some sort of torture.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Republican's Answer:
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points that I bought you for your birthday?"
My ten year old daughter is a member of the Junior NRA. She is learning how to shoot a rifle first, and then I will teach her how to shoot my .44 special! I also plan to buy a 45 and teach her how to use it.
Good answer Chuckster!
bttt
American, thanks
Cause I'm the one that added the "Southern" part to the original joke ;o)
If, as stated, I'm packing a Glock .40, my answer would be 'Republican.'
Unarmed, my response would be to scream a combination battle cry/prayer (us Pagans can do that) and charge straight at the guy.
Hopefully, in that situation, the family would be on our way to a historical reenactment event.
In that case, wife, daughter and myself would all draw long sharp pointy steel things and have a very enjoyable few minutes defending ourselves.
Ammo conservation, My Man. Old Platoon Sargent reaction :-)
Chuckle chuckle.
The liberal would say....
"Who put this gun in my hand? The city council members I voted for passed an ordinance banning handguns in this town!"
As a thnking conservative, I would shoot the knife off his hand, then shoot him on both his knee-caps and tie him to a pole to make sure he couldn't run away.
Then I would question him about who sent him and ask where the rest of his gang of suicidal maniacs can be found. After taking care of the gang, I would then come back to the original terrorist and, BANG!!!!
With the +1 base plate a Glock 27 holds 10 rounds and one in the pipe to make 11. A Glock 22 mag can hold up to 17.
I indeed own 29 round mags.
My condolences on your owning a SW semi.
;<)
This is so accurate it's scary! I had a discussion with a similar premise recently with a lib friend...several of her answers are ones you wrote here.
The truly scary part- it did NOT occur to her to simply shoot the SOB. Unbelievable.
Have you trained to rack the slide with one hand?
You might be shot in the arm/shoulder before you draw.
It can be done, but it is difficult. Tough on the teeth.
Have you trained to shoot with your weak hand? Might save your life.
My modest training has taught me to get a secure holster and keep one in the pipe.
Advanced energy transfer (AET)
Glazer Safety Slug
These look like Blue pencil erasers, big fat plastic coated bullets. The glaser slug is a copper cup filled with liquid teflon and lead shot, sealed with a plastic cap. When it hits the target the cut ruptures and the contents spill out. as the projectile is light it travels very fast, and when it hits it spills out and expands in a spherical shape. this allows almost perfect energy transfer and massive shock and wounds. Unfortunatly, this also means it can't penetrate any armour, and even heavy clothes or a wallet can stop it. (difficult luck roll to take trauma only) This also means it can't ricochet or shoot through any target, making it a 'Safe' round
Damage x2
You Rock!!
I bought these for my wife's Christmas gift a couple of years ago.
She smiled after opening the gift!
LOL. I used to get ammo for my Dad's birthday when I was a little girl too.
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