Posted on 12/14/2005 11:56:38 AM PST by TASMANIANRED
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these simple rules and you should have no problem.
1. When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one.
I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.
No one knows why.
2. If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it.
Men love saying those two words, "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK, by the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"
Again, no one knows why.
3. If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror.
Men love gifts for their cars.
Again, no one knows why.
4. Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes.
If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
5. You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out.
If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
6. Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years.
Real men drink whiskey or beer.
7. Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant.
We do not stink - we are "earthy".
8. Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.
Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea.
No one knows why.
9. Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box.
It will ruin any occasion and he will always have parts left over.
10. Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Beaver Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Canadian Tire Store, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is.
("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
11. Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue.
Get him a monster barbecue with a 100 pound propane tank. Tell him the gas leaks.
"Oh the thrill!The challenge! Who wants hamburger?"
12. Tickets to a Denver Broncos, Colorado Rockies, Central Texas Stampede games are a smart gift.
However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."
Everyone knows why. 13. Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw.
If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #08 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
14. It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder.
Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder.
No one knows why.
15. Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts.
Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
No one knows why.
LOL
nah....I've had enough of that stuff....
Well guys like to play with things. The crank gives us something to do.
Key word in that sentence is A!
Yeah, but they have the kind of junk that men like and will be happy with (at least till they leave your house and go back home)
Rope, that's a good one.
Even better is ammo for a firearm he doesn't own. It's also known as an "excuse".
humor ping
KEY FEATURES
GPS & Level-North Alignment System
Upgraded AutoStar II Controller
Cooling Fan
Smart Mount™
Smart Drive™ (Permanent Periodic Error Correction)
Oversized Primary Mirror
24mm Series 5000™ Ultra Wide Angle Eyepiece
Ultra High Transmission Coatings (UHTC)
Thanks and Congrats on the new tv. Is it one of those which have a "bulb"? Last year I bought a Sony 52" and the bulb burnt out in two weeks. Traded that for an LG 52" and the bulb has burned out. LG is supposed to be arranging a swap-out but the paper work has taken two months so far. The bulbs price out around $400. I would like to find one that doesn't use those bulbs - which is why I asked what kind you got.
*click the picture
Don't forget Orvis opened a shop in Sevierville
sticker,
Haven't been to the Orvis shop yet, but I learned years ago that Orvis is overpriced and overrated. I have an Orvis flyrod, but I prefer my Fhleuger (sp).
Your wife should do what a friend of mine threatened to do to keep her husband out of Lowes -- put up wanted posters that read "Have you seen this man -- if so please call . . "
I haven't been to Little River Outfitters in a while. Hopefully, next spring I'll get to fish some on the Little River. I just moved real close to the Clinch tailwaters and hope to do a lot of fishing there this coming spring.
"Blond enough?"
She looks like a real dog. You know me so well.
12&14 gauge
Christmas Bump!
I’m a man looking for ideas... Always start, with the old tried and true ideas, this thread is only 2 yrs old...
LOl....I’d forgotten about this.
Still has great ideas on it.
I would update it to include stretch tie down straps...
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