Posted on 12/09/2005 5:35:56 PM PST by SandRat
Thought you might enjoy this.
Engineers - Take One:
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Engineers - Take Two:
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Engineers - Take Three:
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
Engineers - Take Four:
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Engineers - Take Five:
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"
Engineers - Take Six:
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
Glad you enjoyed them.
Was the Co-ed available for real-time data collection?
That would have been a problem for the psychology department; I was in physics...
Piled high and Deep...
During the last oil patch downturn an out of work PetE with an MS was submitting applications everywhere. Finally, he gets an interview at a Burger King. The manager is impressed with the guys enthusiasm and intuitive grasp of the fry oil reservoir and he also has a mean burger flip. Eventually though, the manager declines to hire him. As he's leaving, he asks why he didn't get a position and the manager responds... "Well, all of my Petroleum Engineers have PhDs"...
We were sitting in an "eating joint" one morning mowing through a lot of cardio high impact food. Someone makes a comment about how this stuff is hell on blood pressure and without breaking stride the mechanical engineer among us, with a mouth half full of scrambled eggs and sausage, blurts out "High preffure sysfems are more efficient"...
ping
Re Post 27 ... Those are good and I havn't seen them before ... and I've been an electrical engineer for 27 years
Thanks--Enjoy!
Rule #1 in Electronics design ... there are NO bugs ... just undocumented features
I still have my ol trusty circular slide rule ....
An engineer is someone who can do with $1, $15 in new tools, and 6 hours what the mechanic can do with $20.00/hour in 15 minutes.
guilty. LOL.
My hubby (also an attorney) was dragged kicking and screaming into Word. We switched at home as well, because he often brings work home. It seems more stable than WordPerfect, but a lot less flexible, especially for the more creative stuff I do with the kids -- manipulating fonts, images, etc. Sigh. I think the WordPerfect Suite had Quattro Pro instead of Excel.... I don't think that transition was quite as difficult, but he misses Quattro, too.
geek ping
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