Does anybody know how to cook a turkey?

self | 11-24-2005 | self

[Gordon Pym]

When I opened the turkey there was no instruction book

[cyborg]

Yeah I know ;o)

[12chachacha]

Go buy a ham. Ham recipe:

1. Buy an eight sided Farmer John canned ham
(octaham).
2. Place skillet on high heat until it is glowing red
or until smoke alarms go off.
3. Remove ham from can keeping gelatin intact.
4. Place ham in skillet on one of the eight sides
and fry until side black and gelatin has
vaporized.
5. Rotate ham 22.5 degrees. Repeat until all
facets are blackened and all gelatin is
in the ionosphere. Caution: overcooking can
harm the ozone.
6. Enjoy!!

[cowtowney]

"There is no hope.... Just go kill yourself now...."


We're Doomed!

[ChefKeith]

[lepton]

You think he put WHAT in the oven!?!?!?

Oh my...

[HHKrepublican_2]

When I opened the turkey there was no instruction book

Pardon my ignorance, but how does one "open" a turkey?

[Redcloak]

Perhaps there's a CD inside with the instructions in a .pdf file.

But seriously...

Try Googleing "turkey recipe".

[CindyDawg]

Ok. It was just a joke guys. I eat very little meat and I'm not mean to animals:')

[Tunehead54]

You'll want to have your home insurance policy in your back pocket which I assume covers fire hazards if you follow this recipe. If you don't make it out, toasting your policy won't matter.

---

;-)

[fanfan]

LOL

[ru4liberty]

Here's the simplest recipe I know of:

Turkey & Dressing Supreme

[Domestic Church]

Stuff it with popcorn and roast at 325* until it blows it's arse off!

[fanfan]

and where to stick the thermometer

Does your Husband really want you to answer that question?

[deport]

You might try this boys for a little advice on cooking turkeys

Hot time at the Turkey Cook

[afnamvet]

I like the white meat inside a sausage McMuffin myself.

[queenkathy]

HAHA...Guess what!!! He had the timer on Celsius! Not Fahrenheit!!!!!!!!...Our turkey was done and he was waiting..it said 83c...and it was 192F...

[saveliberty]

LOL

[Political Junkie Too]

Does anybody know how to cook a turkey?

What do you mean, an African or European turkey?

-PJ

[fanfan]

LOL!

So will you now tell him where to stick the thermometer?

[kevkrom]

150+ replies and no one mentions brining? I have to assume that this is due to the lateness of the request... the only way to prep turkey is to soak the thawed bird in a salt water solution (with whatever seasonings you desire) for at least 6 hours prior to cooking.