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Unusual excuses prompt judge to pen book about spring break
Associated Press ^ | Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Posted on 11/15/2005 7:46:34 AM PST by WestTexasWend

SOUTH PADRE ISLAND (AP) - Making out with palm trees. Mistaking police cars for taxi cabs. Rolling a stolen restaurant barbecue down the road, flames shooting up from the chicken cooking on the grill.

Such spring break hijinks have earned municipal Judge David Colwell's morning-after docket the reputation as one of the best shows in town.

Colwell said friends suggested that the judge begin recording some of the more memorable anecdotes. Over nine years, he has collected these into a self-published, 98-page tome, "Spring Break: A Judge's View from the Bench" being sold at local bookstores. Although Colwell recounts some serious incidents of violence and death, the majority are humorous.

Most involve public intoxication. The students' excuses hardly seem worthy of the educations they're getting at some of the nation's most prestigious universities. After a night in jail, they stumble into Colwell's court to plea their case.

"I drank brake fluid."

Doesn't matter, Colwell said, you were still publicly intoxicated.

Any spring-breaker with that excuse gets to hear about how Colwell spent his own 21st birthday in basic training in a dry parish in Louisiana.

"My primary rule is if I have to sit up there all day, by God, they have an obligation to entertain me," Colwell said. When he hears snickers, he tells those in the courtroom to "Go ahead and laugh. I'm going to laugh with you, 'cause most of the time it's so darn stupid."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; US: Texas
KEYWORDS: sopadreisland; springbreak

1 posted on 11/15/2005 7:46:36 AM PST by WestTexasWend
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To: WestTexasWend

Years ago at the Jersey shore my excuse for being in a bar under age was "They had a sign saying bathers welcome and I had my suit on" got a snicker and a fine ($25) from the judge.


2 posted on 11/15/2005 7:57:18 AM PST by ncountylee (Dead terrorists smell like victory)
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To: WestTexasWend

I bet this would be a very entertaining book. May have to check it out.


3 posted on 11/15/2005 7:57:59 AM PST by Millee (As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!!)
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To: WestTexasWend

A lot of proud parents out there, doncha know!


4 posted on 11/15/2005 8:03:02 AM PST by DustyMoment (FloriDUH - proud inventors of pregnant/hanging chads and judicide!!)
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To: WestTexasWend; All
"I drank brake fluid."

Turn him loose, it was spring brake.

5 posted on 11/15/2005 8:05:39 AM PST by dighton
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To: WestTexasWend; Owl_Eagle; Sam's Army; Lazamataz; Darksheare; pissant; Dashing Dasher; najida; ...
"Making out with palm trees."

Now that is pretty damned drunk, PING!!!

Could make for a good read.

6 posted on 11/15/2005 9:47:47 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (People too weak to follow their own dreams, will always find a way to discourage yours.)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

LOL...palm trees.


7 posted on 11/15/2005 9:51:24 AM PST by EX52D
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick; Millee
"I drank brake fluid."

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
8 posted on 11/15/2005 9:52:09 AM PST by PaulaB
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To: WestTexasWend

Lesson Learned from Spring Break in Fort Lauderdale, circa 1980:

Don't antagonize the undercover narc cops.


9 posted on 11/15/2005 9:53:07 AM PST by martin_fierro (Dispensing with the Obvious since 1997)
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To: WestTexasWend
I spent a lot of time on PI and SPI in my youth, let's just say that Spring Breaks were always interesting. My favorite was the two topless girls on a 4 wheeler being chased (unsuccessfully) by the police through the crowds on the beach.

The second was the guy they busted for relieving himself on top of the dunes next to the road. He had his back to the beach, and the officer was walking up the hill behind him. The entire crowd was screaming at him to run, but he was so blasted that he didn't notice. The officer put the cuffs on him, didn't even let him zip up before they perp-walked him down the hill.

It was usually all good, but the one thing that went silly was the way that they would trick non-locals into getting arrested. It was, back then, legal to drive around while drinking, as long as you weren't drunk. The one catch was, there was a law that it was illegal to consume alcoholic beverages in a place that did not have consume licenses. Every convenience store had a sign in the window to the effect that "It is a crime (misdemeanor) to consume alcoholic beverages on these premises". So, whenever a car pulled into the store parking lot to re-stock, if someone had an open container in the car, which was legal on the road, they would get busted as soon as their car was on the pavement. The locals knew the score, as silly as it was, but the others did not.

10 posted on 11/15/2005 9:57:55 AM PST by cspackler (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

I bet his folks can't leave him alone with the Christmas tree. "Junior breaks more darn ornaments, I just don't know what he's doing in there..." ;o)


11 posted on 11/15/2005 10:02:08 AM PST by Millee ("Life is just one damned thing after another" - Elbert Hubbard)
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To: Millee

LOL, now there's an image I did not need in my brain!


12 posted on 11/15/2005 10:12:09 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (People too weak to follow their own dreams, will always find a way to discourage yours.)
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To: ncountylee

"But officer, the sign says Stop, not Stay!"


13 posted on 11/15/2005 10:16:11 AM PST by labowski ("The Dude Abideth")
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To: Millee

It does sound funny.

(and no, I have no spring break stories).


14 posted on 11/15/2005 10:30:24 AM PST by najida (OK, so I have a new obsession. Ain't life grand :))
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

Ouch!!


15 posted on 11/15/2005 10:54:11 AM PST by blackie (Be Well~Be Armed~Be Safe~Molon Labe!)
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